I have a really ugly face and I get made fun of all the time for it. I keep myself fit, I keep myself clean, I wear nice clothes but people still bug me. My face is more manly or something. Every few weeks I wax my eye brows. I wear make up sometimes as well. So it isn't like I go out without trying to look good. I've been made fun of since I was 12 for it and now I'm 25. I've never been in a relationship and I've only kissed two guys. I feel like I only come to live at work because my co-workers like me, so I end up having people to talk to and joke with. I have no friends outside of work. I've tried to make friends but people just don't want to be my friend. I am so sick of being lonely. I just spent a week completely alone because I had a week off work. I had no one to talk to and my family lives 40 mind away. I moved out here because I wanted job opportunities but also because I had no friends there. I figure a city would be full of people and I could make new friends easily. That wasn't the case. Although two years ago I had a group of friends from work but we have all moved on. So I'm lonely again. My new coworkers are all men and older. I just want a boyfriend so much, and friends. I want a family someday. I want people to stop bugging me about how ugly I am. I already know I am, so why rub it in? Sometimes I feel so.alone I want to die. My dad killed himself so I can't put my mom through that. It wood be cruel. I just feel lie life is pointless. No one wants to be my friend, boyfriend and I get called ugly despite my efforts. I try to make friends. I try dating. I try to think positively about my looks. But somedays its hard. I've gotten to the point I am too scared to walk down the street unless I have my headphones in and a Hood covering my face. That way I can hide my face, and the headphones block out peoples cruel words. I also get insomnia and I take sleeping pills but I still have so much on my mind I don't sleep and I feel funny because the sleepings pills have kickedin and I can't function right. I'm too scared to take more than two. I am having trouble sleeping right now, and I work at 630. I am using my cell phone to type this. So some words might be off. | |
That's a first. I kinda wish I was a queer. Only a straight queer looking guy, cuz I think people have this thing where they taunt people they are either strangely attracted to or threatened by. Its like they are uncomfortable with their own sexuality. I think the most attractive people are able to balance their feminine and masculine qualities, not be an exaggeration of one or the other.
a. im a chick
b. if guys have issues with men that look feminine its probably because having a semi erection from that is making them uncomfortable.. or because they know women are more attracted to them. feminine men score more pussy---fact!
c. the point was that you have to dress a certain way and hyper exzaggerate your gender to be considered that in this society. Buddhist nuns dont adorn themselves, have hair or wear makeup. They look like feminine boys. In order for a woman to be considered a "woman" or a man to be considered a "man" they have to dress and act in societal prescribed unnatural ways. For a woman-tit implants, makeup, permed/dyed hair, men, its an I have no emotions attitude, their clothes, shaving, cut hair, unadornment, no makeup, and crappy smelling calogne.
So much focus is put everyday into fitting into you gender roles, but if you do so much as not conform to gender roles, then people can easily mistake even an attractive person for the other gender, because ideas of gender are not real, they are mostly society created. There is not THAt much difference between men and women. Some people have issue with androgyny. I find it beautiful, and we are heading into a time when mean and women will stop conforming to made up standards.
non-comprehension/putting people down before you take the time to understand what they are saying, makes you a worthless asshole.
IF! I was man man with long hair and makeup on...how does calling me a QUEER from safely across the street make you men? For all you know I could be perfectly straight but like to look good and scoring more pussy that you. Women don't really want bodybuilders who shave their heads and beat their girlfriends to a pulp anymore, actually they never DID. Women dont get turned on by your steroids, your sweat or your testosterone, OR your insensitive, MAN act. When you are children playing grown up. Totally out of touch with what women really need.
and my this (bi)have the same relationship as mi..
our bf will use violence again us and we tried to suicide before
we both break up the same time but she is lucky she meet alot of gay friends and now happily in and relationship with her leb partner.. last for 1yrs
and she know who her friends will..
unlike mi when i broke up with my ex i happen to saw one of my ex secondary school mate she intro her friends to me.. and one of the girl is leb.. i use to like her and been in r/s but she using mi to socialize with friends and one of my friend bf use mi to break up with her and she befirend mi and now she happily attach and they still friend with the eachother.. and i leave nothing.. i dunno who to hang out be locking my self and home and one of my secondary school the friend is flirt around one.. i just find nothing goes smooth in my life.. i regret beaking up with mi ex.. and he dunno why i break up with him until i cant hang with this stuff i call him up to patch but he already got new thai gf...
and now i dont have the strength to work and i make my parents see mi from a normal girl but be can lidat that..
i so envy my two sis one can me up with friend a no worry.. the other is happily attach and gg to marry...
is like my two sis life being so smooth, and my friend and those asshole life being so smooth then mine..
and i happen to be close with one of the guy friend she said is my fault i was like want and she said who ask you to socialize but not mi is she the butch.. i just hate everything...
i just wanna be single and hang out with friend but scare as their guys friend all are not serious in r/s and when i'm in them thy call mi slut or something.. i wish to be you if i can
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