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Life hates my guts!

Posted by Steven B at April 10, 2010
Tags: 2010 April  Family  Health  Money  Unemployment

Well it all started when I was born....Mom was sixteen, dad was seventeen. My mom and dad were married but dad cheated and then they got a divorce. I was young then. My Mom remarried to a man that seemed nice enough, turns out he came from an alcholic family and had mental issues. They fight constantly. He's not the greastest role model for a boy trying to become a man. I have two sisters and a brother, all younger than me. Sometimes..all the time I feel like I was the practice test. My step dad loved my oldest sister more than the rest of us and so my mother blamed her for their marriage problems. It turns out that they don't really like each other, my mom and my dad. They stayed together for us kids. Guess we weren't screwed up enough yet. My middle sister hates our family and hardly never comes around. My youngest brother still lives at home even though he is 22 and has a daughter and is not married. I got married thinking that would make me happy, turns out I,m in love with my wife , its just more stress and problems. I have a 9 month old son who is great. A week ago I lost my job and went from 90k per year to 0 overnight. I bought a new house in December and have a MOUNTAIN of debt that i'll never be able to pay for in three lifetimes. My jeep is geeting repoed soon. I have $7 in my checking account and no innsurance for my family. Today I cut two fingers off on a table saw. Went to the hospital with no money and no innsurance and no job. Who knows how much more this will cost. I have failed my wife and my son. Everyday my life gets a little worse. I lost my wifes bicycle on the interstate two days ago. It feel off the back of my van. I have no prospects on a job and a house note due in less than three weeks. I need to see an orthopedist to have my left had index finger amputated, but can't afford it. Can't get pain pills because again, money. The goverment told me last month I owe them taxes. They call everyday. Ifilled my return for this year, but they said there going to take it. Everyday I wake up mad because I woke up. I have aniexty problems and take pills for it, but haven't been taking them lately because I can't afford the refill. I wish I were drunk right now so I wouldn't care so much! I hate my self a lot.


Similar Entries:
suicidal, i really wish i were dead December 1, 2010
Well it goes a like this February 9, 2012
I fucked up my own life June 21, 2012
Looking for love in all the wrong places. October 15, 2011
my life is imprisoned August 6, 2010

New Comment

By anonymous at 10,Apr,10 17:44

Up until you lost your job, you had a normal life. All families are just as dysfunctional as yours was (in some way or other). You lost your job. More people are losing their job every day and you will have to compete with them along with all the current unemployed (and so will I!).
Consider some form of bankruptcy (but do not take my advice too seriously, as I am not an expert in these matters).
My only real advice: Do not get drunk and keep off the anxiety pills. Most anxiety pill actually cause more problems than they solve. Take care of those you love, keep a distance from those who cause you anxiety. Good luck.

By at 10,Apr,10 21:20

Really consider bankruptcy. I've been where you are now. Learn from it too. Don't live beyond your means, live at less than your means. You made 90K per year and you have no savings to fall back on? Why? I make half that and I always have at least 10K saved for just this type of situation. You obviously have potential, since you made so much. You don't state your field so I am wondering can you start a business? Can you do anything to help others, like as a consultant? Keep your head up, bite the bullet and get your expenses under control through bankruptcy and then start over and do it the right way. I did and I am happier than ever. Good Luck!

By anonymous at 10,Apr,10 22:43

Now, now, no need to get your trousers in a twist. This happens to alot of people bud.
By anonymous at 11,Apr,10 02:19

The above poster is correct in one respect, these types of problems are happening to a lot of people. You have fallen into a deep well financially and the key to getting out is to not dig yourself deeper in. I sold my house and live with relatives. I closed my checking account and canceled all my credit cards.

By anonymous at 16,Apr,10 21:58

Dude, most families suck, you are old enough to make things better, quit blaming the past and clean the fuck up

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