I finally realized that there is no one in the world that would choose me first to spend the day with .... I am not first on anyone's list. My kids would rather be with their friends or boyfriends. I have no real friends. My so-called work friends have their families and friends to be with. I am all alone.
Here is it Christmas Day and I sit alone. Everyone out with people and no one invited me. I even thought about going to the movies alone. How pathetic is that. Going to the movies alone on Christmas Day!
I do not know how I lived this long (nearly 5 decades) and have no one. And I dont know how to meet anyone. I work, (in a crap job), then come home and sit here alone. Nigt after night.
Dont say get out and do something because 1) have no money 2) have nothing to do. I am a pitiful pathetic loser. | |
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Did I just write that??!! I don't remember writing that, but that's ME!!! (Aside from minor details.)
No, it don't feel none too good, duz it?
Would you dare take advice from another loser? Well, here goes: (It worked for me for years.)
1. Forget people. They cause nothing but pain. I've been comfortably alone for years. Content. But when I recently attempted to mix with people, I found myself to be VERY lonely. Everybody else had somebody; I had nobody. People will not give back what you give.
2. Get a dog or two (indoor). Dogs will give back what you put in...and more. And dogs will keep you alive: You wouldn't even consider leaving them, and you wouldn't consider killing them, either.
3. Do something. Wanna learn to play a musical instrument? What's your place look like? Clean it up and keep it clean. Make it look nice. Be proud of it. Stay busy as much as you can, even if it's just browsing the web. BTW: What's your yard look like?
Right now, I'm in the process of shaking off the pain from my recent encounter with people. I've got numbers 2 and 3 taken care of. I'm working on number 1 again.
I made a little mistake: I voted "Yeah, it sucks." I should have voted that it ain't so bad.
I feel like crud now, but I know that once I relearn number 1, I'll get over it...again.
It comes back from time to time, but what the heck....That's life. Everybody has their stuff to go through, I guess. Heck, just read some of these other peoples' problems! We've got it easy!! I know: "Is that supposed to make me feel good er sumthin'?" LOL I don't know. It doesn't usually work for me, but....
Well, I've been thinking, lately, that maybe a little depression is good for a person every now n' again. It makes you think. It makes you deal with things, sort things out, priortize things, set you back on the course of reality....I don't know; just thinkin'.
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