I'm 24 and I am completely lost and I feel like I can't cope with life anymore. My mum and dad divorsed when I was very young, then when I was nine my dad died, two weeks before my cat, who was my best friend. I don't have any brothers or sisters. My mums boyfriend who was a father figure died of cancer the same month as my granddad. At school I lost 4 of my best friends instantly when they started insulting my dad, I just walked away.
I have suffered from years of panic and anxiety attacks, and was diagnosed with depression when I was 19 because I turned to drugs.
I am doing a degree I don't want to do anymore, and my work is too much to cope with.
My relationships with women have been shit aswell. My first girlfreind moved away to a different country and then broke up with me via E-mail. I thought I needed to be more confident with women so over the past year I have seen 5 different women, all of which decided it was ok to completely screw me around and not give me a proper chance, resulting in me being single for 5 years. Recently I told a female friend I liked her and it was the same story even though 'I'm the best person ever'.
I feel like I am becoming bitter and angry about the way my life has gone, and history is just repeating itself and theres nothing I can do to change my life.
I spend most of my life in isolation, I never see the rest of my family, and I assume it is gonna stay that way until I die. Why should I make a list of things I need to change in my life, if even when I try to change things, I genuinely can't, something bad always happens to me. | |
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