I try to enjoy life i really try. i usually dont hate life so extremly much but recently I havent been able to eat at all or else i'm in pain. eating is like my favorate thing in the whole world. well i had to have my gallbladder removed and im in pain from the surgery, but now there is just like this pain in the middle of my body, the only way to explain this is it feels like my soul is dead and all feelings of life in my body or non-existent. i really just want to die. | |
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I havent had any surgerys, but im coming down off of a full solid year of dependence on drugs....and if i had to find any better way to say it....i couldnt.
I really just want to die to.....i to feel like im dead inside, and that there is NOTHING to ever look forward to again, on top of that i am in a little bit of physical discomfort, sweating shaking all the time, jittery....lol i dont know really, short tempered.
My new years resolution was to stop....so i did, and its hard. I cant even play drums worth a shit, and i used to be good.....so im trying to keep mmyself busy, but usually what i would do to keep busy....i CANT do....i either dont have the patience at all, or i literally am no longer good at those things, and i feel extremily lazy.
Winter time is a really hard time it seems to be quitting and addiction....because you cant go out doors as much....life is for the most part lived INSIDE, and im friggen depressed as shit.
Sorry for taking over your post....but my point in a way was just so you can realize that im struggling right now, REAL TIME with you, just different problem, same debilitating agony though.
Im thinking about you, and i hope for the best.
No doupt things will get better, BUT WHEN....UGH RUNNING OUT OF PATIENCE.
JAKE
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