I grew up arround alcoholics. Family was very dysfunctional and dad was there and mom was here. Grew up with my mom who was drunk everyday bi.. about everything. /step dad bitc.. about everything money mostly and could barely pay for this and that and it just made me who i am today all the things i saw when i was young. It put too much pressure and caused me to be old even though im young. im 22 now. I live in thailand which probably sounds cool but its not that cool. I drink almost everyday i hate everything and i just cant get a grip. I have had 12 jobs in my life. I came here by the way cause my real dad was here and everybody thought it would be good for me to get out and do something with my life. So ok fine i came here and in the first couple of weeks i screwed everything up. I had relastions with my dads wife which is thai. So my dad beat me pretty bad on that night and than he took off casue apparently she said too him that she loved me. Omg!!! So i stayed 1 year and a half with her supporting her and whatever workin my a#@ off and not moving forward and living in shame everyday. Drinking myself to death. Then finally i got out and moved with a friend. Kept workin and than got my own place and im still here in thailand tryin to make it. barely making it by the way i had to do some pretty degrating things to make it. I hate my life cause it has been horrible and it just so hard is that what life is supposed to be hard like all the time. woory about this worry about that. I am accually thinking if i belive in god. Im trying to belive but just dont know. I am dying slowy but i think ill be dead by 30 or somewhere in 30s. So yeah i drink allot too much accually and in fact my gf will probably die soon but what can i do she has to work and she is a bar girl by the way. so i need money she needs money and im looking for work to just save her life. hope so but its almost seems pointless. anyway idk im an alcoholic and i hope i can keep going but for how long??? whatever who cares!!!!! | |
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take your girlfriend and come back home.
give up the booz and drugs,it will be very hard but doable.and try to start a new life.
it is possible,
I did it.
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