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need ideas

Posted by noluckyet at November 2, 2011
Tags:  2011 November

im 20. im a mom of a 4 yr old. i cant read, i have no talents, i have no friends, and i dont have a job. my mom hates me, we scream at each other all the time. my son is depressed and i can see it in his eyes. and all of this is my fault. i cant file for child support or a restraining order aggest the father bc he will kno were i live and were my son will go to school, and he will stock and hunt me done. my anxiety is so bad i some times cant even take out the trash. i want to leave this city, i want to go to college and get a better job to support my son but i cant bc theres not enough support from the government. so when i get another job i have to work around the clock just to provide food and shelter for my son. im hurting so bad i feel like ripping my heart out of my chest just so i can releave the pain and presure. i just want to make my son happy and my mom proud of me. i just want to be loved and trusted. i never had a real child hood, but i want to give that to my son so bad. i dont know were to begin. and i only have 4 months to figure every thing out. or i have to give up and let my son go, and if that happens i will kill my self because i cant even sleep without him near me.


Votes:


Similar Entries:
It is what it is January 17, 2012
Feel like a looser January 17, 2012
poverty is killing me March 13, 2012
I think my life sucks bad. January 22, 2010
Oppressed by my family July 16, 2011



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Comments:
By ur well wisher at 10,Dec,11 11:20

never ever dare to do such stupid things....ur the king of ur kingdom...rule ur world with ur strategies...give damn to this world...make ur present as ur weapon...


By anonymous at 10,Dec,11 20:06

if you can't read, how did you write this? :o


By anonymous at 10,Dec,11 23:09

Yea, EXPLAIN THAT!!


By anonymous at 11,Dec,11 03:17

I can hear that your living in misery through the pain delivered by words. Though words are limited as to how much it can express - i feel two things are true: your pain and your love for your son. Even when you claim that you can't read, you create words that so vividly express the pain that you are in.. It just makes me wonder how dark and hurtful your life is at this point.
I cannot tell you that I understand, because that would mean that I shared in your sufferings. How can I, since I am a man who knows nothing about nurturing a child alone in midst of all troubles. How can I possibly follow your pain except to say "I am sorry you are going through such thing."

This is probably the best answer I can give in this internet environment. And in this anonymous environment, I don't think I can get any closer to you than say simple words of condolences, which sounds evermore aloof and meaningless.
But, I pray with sincerity that all things will become better.

And I also pray that you will not see decay. I pray that though you are hurt and surrounded with pain, you will not surrender to it but seek after a greater presence who can deliver you.
Don't let you mind and your soul deceive you that this is the end. Your situation can be overcome. And it requires the help of a divine being who sees, knows, and understands all things.
He who created the visible, shall also guide you to the invisible. Have faith, my friend. You were not meant to be crushed by the calamities of the world. You were not meant to be brought down by miseries. You were not meant to suffer such pain.
My testimony claims that there is a living Creator, the source of all the visible things, who lives. When the original man sinned, we were cursed by death. No one can escape death, it comes either in one form or another. But there is one who fought and won against the curse. Christ, the son of God, foreknew the upcoming fall of man and the curse that was to wreck our race. And he willingly accepted to BECOME the curse so that we shall have life. This was how it was accomplished: He was crucified a painful death upon the cross. However, he crushed death as he rose from the grave, victorious to reclaim his beloved. Now he awaits eagerly for His beloved ones to return to him so that he may give them everlasting water to the soul.
He wants you. He cries out for you. He, who created all things, want to become your father so that you may understand you don't have to carry this life on your own. Matter of fact, he wants you to know that you were meant to be loved, He wants to carry your pains and your afflictions, and as a proof he bears the nail marks of the cross on his hand and on his feet. My friend, this story is not fictional. How can it be when I, the most wicked and wretched man who also contemplated suicide years ago, escaped the seemingly inevitable pit and came to His presence. Christ didn't lie. He was not fake, as the world made it sound like He was.
His presence overwhelmed me with uncontainable love and peace that words cannot express.
you were meant to be loved. May He come and give you rest from the world.

with Love,
Anonymous


By anonymous at 11,Dec,11 19:04

Ooooh..lord..goodbye..


By anonymous at 15,Dec,11 21:46

xD


By anonymous at 15,Dec,11 21:47

xD


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