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I'm so lost!!!!

Posted by anonymous at September 29, 2011
Tags: Loneliness  Relationship  2011 September

I was so alone all my life. I'm attractive, fun and smart but always felt 'out of phase' with everyone. Never a real relationship. Then at 30 I met a beautiful sweet girl and fell in love. I loved her so much I cried for a year just to look into her eyes. We were married and had a beautiful home for years. But something happened after 10 years. The world got between us and I was too complacant to see it and stop it. She left me about 6 months ago. I adore her so much! She won't reconcile. She believes she can do better and she is probably right because she is a wonderful woman. I just fucked up!!!! I've been super depressed, sleeping all the time and incredibly suicidal. I dream about her every night and think of her every minute of the day. She lives just a few blocks away and I try to avoid the nieghborhood because it is too painful. I am so alone. I can't even bring myself to attempt dating because I am a wreck and could start crying instantly. I'm crying now. She was my once in a lifetime love and I hate myself for losing her. I don't know how I'm still alive and can't see myself surviving the year. If she ever finds someone and I see them together I will surely have a heart attack and die. At least that saves me the indignity of suicide. My poor tender heart...


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Comments:
By deadman at 18,Nov,11 19:05

i dunno here, you sound like you loved her but.....you also sound over obsessed with her. maybe that's why she skipped out. i notice you don't tell in your story why she left you, and that's because you DO know why she left you just don't wanna face that. be honest you know why, you won't tell us. get over her and try a new chick or turn gay, whatever! your pain means nothing, jack, zero to her. move on dude.


By at 19,Nov,11 00:19

my poor tender heart! you sound like a god damn pussy! she left a pussy! you think she boo hoo cryin over your pussy ass? i doubt it very highly. zero % chance. grow a set and stop blubbering like a woman.


By anonymous at 19,Nov,11 09:06

Wow, what a dumbass pair of comments you received beforehand.
Glad they are not therapists eh?

I felt like you did about a woman. My first love.
I lost my appetite when she left me. I was a walking skeleton. I think we are ust extra sensetive and it does
not serve us well. I found out later that she could not
stay in a relationship with anyone for more than 4 years!

I thought I would never get over her, no matter how I tried.
The only thing that helped was the passage of time. I
found new loves, but none as special as her. But she had
"the grass is always greener" syndrome. Meaning she always
thought there was something better for her. Which of course
is a dillusion for most.

Then I met another woman that just captured my heart.
I never fell so hard for someone before. But she could
not love me the way I loved her. So I went through the
same loss as I did years before. I ended up marrying a girl
out of desperation. We have been together for 20 years.
But we are incompatible. And I am still unhappy. I only
think of the good ol days.
My advice? Don't let yourself fall for anyone. Your better
off getting a dog. They will always be loyal to you and
love you every day. Go out with women, have fun....but
just don't get involved. Today's women are mean, sarcastic
and too independant to be in a long term relationship.
By anonymous at 19,Nov,11 10:59

damn YOU'RE reply left me all sleepy not the first two!
By anonymous at 19,Nov,11 11:02 Fold Up

zzzzzzZZZZZZ!
By anonymous at 19,Nov,11 11:04 Fold Up

long winded snore, more like first two please.
By anonymous at 19,Nov,11 11:17 Fold Up

get a dog, just remember you're not supposed to have sex with the dog. supposed is the key word dork.
By anonymous at 19,Nov,11 17:01

Too late! Should have told me earlier.
By anonymous at 19,Nov,11 18:13

oh uh.....mmmmm.......sorry? was it good?
By anonymous at 19,Nov,11 19:51

It was just like your mom.
By anonymous at 19,Nov,11 20:36

my mom died 7 years ago. that's very mean to say to me. heartless.


By anonymous at 19,Nov,11 10:53

I no life doesnt seem fare but you half to have trust in the LORD. I too have had moments whare I didn't have the will to live but GOD has pulled me trogh the hardest tribulasions. Just keep going to church and keep preying to the LORD because he loves you and doesnt want you to suffer. Meny times I would walk down the street and people would call me names becos they tought I was undereducated... They called me the n word and many other things, but after talking to me people begun to realize I was very smart and now they come to me for advice. So the LORD has made me an intrument to reach younger folk. I will prey for you my dear, for I know that GOD can perform mirakles if you keep the FAITH.
By anonymous at 19,Nov,11 10:59

P.S. Im sorry for calling you DEAR I thought you must have been a woman in a lesbian relalationship but now i have reread everything and I think you are a brother? Nows I dont know what to tell you for i have never seen such an emotional display from someone with testicles before. But maybe if you prey that GOD will give you a bigger set of dem balls you will be fine. GOD BLESS.
By anonymous at 19,Nov,11 11:01

haw haw haw. you funny.
By anonymous at 19,Nov,11 16:58

I wuz a hopin ud say that NYUK NYUK cuzin cleatus he done dared me.
By at 19,Nov,11 18:54

bite my shiny metal ass!


By anonymous at 19,Nov,11 16:55

YOU ARE NOT ALONE! The world is FULL OF LOVE! You just can't see it because you have a problem with your serotonin levels. What you need is an ssri or an snri! Believe me I was just like you before, could hardly get out of be, but now at the crack of dawn Im so FN! happy to be alive I throw open the curtains and greet the day, and the sky is like the brightest shade of blue. Yeah sometimes I get homocidal ideology, where if someone so much as touches me or looks at me the wrong way i wanna bust a cap in thier ass, but seriously its NOTHINg compared to the endless crying i had before. GET HELP! You will find there are so many doctors out there who WANT TO help you, but you need to want to get help.
By anonymous at 19,Nov,11 17:04

The key is NOT medicine! the key is telling all your intimate secrets to a stranger, it's so relieving. Just don't talk about the voices though, they have a hard time understanding.
By anonymous at 19,Nov,11 17:09

No the OP is right. Everything wrong with you has to do with seratonin. I went to MANY doctors and they all agree. Now that I got my seratonin fixed I feel like a whole new person!Unfortunately due to a strange side effect I will be going to prison soon, I sure hope they give me my pills. Id hate to get the dreaded "brain zap" lol!


By anonymous at 20,Nov,11 09:39

I understand what you're going through. I lost the love of my life several years ago. The fact is when they stop loving you, they stop loving you and there's nothing you can do to change that. You cannot make someone love you. Stop torturing yourself and accept that she has moved on. Its probably not even something you did wrong, people fall out of love every day. Ever hear of the 7 year itch? Well at least you got 10 years with her. You need to move on, even if it means moving to a different neighborhood.

Your behavior is probably repelling her even more, especially if you've cried and begged her to take you back. Women don't want a crying, weak man. Sorry just being honest. And your life should never revolve around another person, because people are very unreliable and will let you down and disappoiint you. Once can truly only depend on themself.

Don't kill yourself over another person, that's just... silly. People were meant to come into and out of lives, mating for life is so unrealistic these days. Move on, find other joys and things that give you pleasure. And remember, you're not alone, many people have been there and survived!


By anonymous at 21,Nov,11 01:56

Deadman like always commenting and answering his own comments..
By deadman at 21,Nov,11 10:44

hey no name fag stop obsessing over me faggot and get a life loser.


By anonymous at 21,Nov,11 14:57

Yeah..aha..THE TRUTH can spark up those kind of words..
By at 21,Nov,11 17:17

yeah..aha.. GAYNESS can spark up those homosexual bitchy flairups.


By anonymous at 21,Nov,11 19:22

Yeah...aha...still mad? Cause your words express anger..ooo...well...the truth will do that..


By at 21,Nov,11 19:25

you keep talkin your shit about truth (you have none) and me being angry (i'm not) i'm just sick of you being an attention whore. just go away now troll your times up.


By anonymous at 22,Nov,11 14:13

Correction.. YOU ARE MAD.. You wana know why? cause THE TRUTH was exposed IN YOUR FACE!! Lalalala..deadman..deadman.. he is mad..lalalalala...


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