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untitled story

Posted by Ed at February 28, 2010
Tags: Disappointment  Family  2010 February

Wasted 10 years fighting for a green card so I could stay and care for my son, lived in fear all those years thinking things could turn for the worse and lose my son, not being able to see my family all those years was hell. After 10 years of fighting was finally able to get my green card and thought life was going to be better, but was I wrong my own son made it a living hell using drugs,drinking going to jail and the latest getting together with a stripper and getting her pregnant and the fighting the abuse and the ugliness that accompanies people nowadays made it even worse, then the expense and fighting for the custody of my grand baby whom I more than adore. I have a very physically demanding job which I have done for 21 years and that has taken a toll on my body my hips are gone I never done drugs, don't drink or smoke because I thought that if I respected my body it would take care of me....and man was I wrong I walk like a 90 year old man and the latest I am developing problems with my elbows..cant stop working because years of supporting my parents and 3 brothers have also taken a toll on my finances....and last year sometime in June was thinking about ending my own life..even planned how to but the strength of the love that I feel for my grand baby prevented me from doing it..Im even feel ashamed to publish this sitting here alone at 2:35 am in front of my computer...but writing about it somehow helps


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By at 28,Feb,10 14:54

Your son may not have turned out how you wanted him to be, but the fact is, he's still your son, you should love him no matter what. We arent perfect at all, none of are and we will fall into the wrong crowd and jump into mess that we're arent suppose to be in.

Maybe there was some kind of depression that your son fell in that caused him to be this way. i know strippers arent the best women in the world, especially their reputation but sometimes we can't just assume the worst by their occupation. The woman may actually hate the job and feels that there are no other options for her but stripping.

If all this stress is making you extremely depressed, maybe you should get back up, pack up and leave. your son has already established his life and it may be a while before he decides to change, but all you can do is tell him how much you love him and always will. Who knows, words like that can mean alot to someone and can be their motivation.

Start putting yourself first, you've already taken care of loved ones for so long. Now it is time to concentrate on you. Yes i've never done drugs or drink or smoke before, and yes you would think that that should take care of your health, but if that were the case, why did I need glasses by the time i was in the 8th grade? my eyesite was already going bad at such a young age. Why did my mom started having asthma symptoms even though she's never done drugs or anything like that? Its all about eating right and exercising. PLUS eliminating stress as best you can. The human body is going to fail us no matter what. its just a matter of time.

Try not to concern yourself with things that you cannot help or are out of your control.
By mary at 05,Mar,10 08:04

I agree with her.

- you cannot be responsible for everybody, especially now that you have your own problems. Nobody expects you to be a saint.
- let your son live his life if this is what he chose. Offer him love when he needs it. Drug addictions need specialized help in my opinion.
- be there for your grandchild!

Don't feel ashamed about anything! We are all on the same boat here more or less.. been there, almost done that.

By anonymous at 28,Feb,10 21:31

you don't have to feel ashamed for writing stuff ANYWHERE

By anonymous at 01,Mar,10 12:09

What have i become?

Everyone i know goes away in the end..

By anonymous at 01,Mar,10 20:33

you were supporting your parents and three brothers??+ Dont take on more than you can handle, time for other people to help you or get the fuck out!! also your son, needs to man up and take care of his own son, as much as you love the baby.

By anonymous at 14,Mar,10 04:19

are you kidding? maybe u could love ur son but if he treats u like shit then does he deserve it? Kick him out and if he really loves u the same ammount u love him then he should come back and say sorry or change his way, straighten his life out before he does anything, ofcourse a mother should love her sons and daughters but really? Should he deserve it?

By Baruch at 18,Aug,10 23:39

Humans are biological robots

By anonymous at 18,Apr,11 13:32

well... i think we should just all stop bitching about our lives and actually get up and do something about it .. if you actually try ONLY YOU CAN MAKE YOURSELF HAPPY just remember that... and NEVER forget it.. times will be hard.. but i promise things will get better once you realize you won't need pointless drama...

By anonymous at 10,Jan,12 22:27

We have our purpose although it may be hard to see what it is. You are a blessing in the life of all the people who meet you. Your suffering teaches others how to be better people.

By anonymous at 21,Jun,12 22:09

Girls and women are the biggest disappointment for me. As I've pointed out elsewhere, girls and women, especially the pretty ones, are cold, unfriendly, aloof, disconnected, uncaring, unkind, unloving, unaffectionate, heartless, vain, moneycentered, materialistic, cruel. As a result, I can't get a decent girlfriend, and I suffer from endless loneliness. I don't measure up in appearance or income, and I'm socially awkward, and antisocial, so girls and women ignore me and treat me like I'm invisible. I don't care about them. Fuck them. Most of them suck, and most of them are unworthy to be my friend, unworthy of one fingernail on my hand. Its more their loss than mine, only they are too stupid to realize it. Anyway, I have to go another fucking summer of loneliness, as countless other lonely guys all over the country and all over the world. Just how many lonely guys there are, nobody knows. Its a sad commentary on society, human nature, the human condition, and its a sad commentary on the female segment of the population. That's pitiful, ladies. What does all this loneliness in countless thousands of males say about you, ladies? Let me tell you what it says,about you. It shows how cruel, vain, shallow, unfriendly, unkind, uncaring, and ignorant you are. You have no hearts, no morals, and no conscience. For Pete's sake, is it too fucking much to ask that you treat us ugly and socially awkward guys with a little kindness when you see us? And is it too damn much to ask that you devote just one day out of a year to date us? Apparently, yes. Just try it, out of kindness, but that would be impossible for you ladies, as there isn't a shred of kindness in you. You heartless sluts couldn't even pretend to be kind, couldn't do it if you tried, couldn't do it for your life. Kindness, love, caring, and affection are just not part of your nature, unless a guy is a hunk or unless he gives you money and showers you with gifts. God forgot to give you a heart. You don't have a lot of brains, either, and what brains you do have, is a constipated brain, which does not know between good and evil and does not know between right and wrong. Generally speaking, girls and women are cruel and evil, most of them suck, and they are the biggest disappointment and the biggest failure in the creation.
By anonymous at 27,Jun,12 23:02

So attractive women suck therefor you can't get a decent GF? Sounds like by decent you mean what you ( or society ) consider physically attractive. Isn't that just a little bit hypocritical of you to call pretty girls materialistic. Likely a lot of attractive women are aloof/distant etcbecause they keep getting hit on just for their looks.
By anonymous at 28,Jun,12 19:43

What I mean by decent is being friendly being kind and being good hearted.There are friendly kind and good hearted women its just that they are physically unattractive or ugly like me. Its the pretty women who are generally unfriendly and evil. Am I a hypocrite because I would prefer a pretty woman to an ugly one? An honest answer is yes. At least I'm honest. But wait a minute. Its a little more complicated than this. What I didn't mention before and what I should have mentioned is that 1) its natural for guys including ugly guys such as myself to choose pretty women over an ugly one. The sad cruel fact of nature is that it has produced plenty of ugly women AND plenty of ugly guys AND at the same time our desire is to be with a pretty woman if your a guy and the desire is to be with a handsome guy if your a woman. Maybe the real culprit here is Nature. This is a sick; cruel joke by nature to cause loneliness in people. Most people including myself are vain(!concerned with physical appearance) and there is a lot of physical ugliness in BOTH sexes. So vanity plus ugliness equals LONELINESS. Its cruel sick and fucked up.If a loving God was really in control in the world; there would not be all this physical ugliness and there would not be so much vanity cruelty alienation in the world and we would not have so many lonely unloved people in the world such as myself. 2) while I admit that there's vanity in me; I DONT go overboard with it. There's a difference between being a little vain and there's a difference between being TOTALLY VAIN as are so many girls and women. Hey look I'm not asking for a woman who's super gorgeous. I'll settle for just an average looking girl or woman. It turns out that I'm unable to get even an average looking girl or woman. Why? Either they are unfriendly or they are already taken. And I should have pointed out before that I can be nice to anybody female or male IF they are a good person. I don't care how ugly they maybe. I just ask that IF I'm going to get physically close with a girl or woman then and ONLY THEN I would prefer her to be physically attractive. Once again I will settle for just average looks but as I said I cant even get an average looking woman. The evil in pretty girls and women is that they go TOTALLY OVERBOARD with looks and vanity. They are TOTALLY CONSUMED by it to the point that they completely shut out and close themselves off to any ugly guy and that is sinful. You know; just out of kindness to show I'm not such a big hypocrite myself I would like to one day go out on a date with an ugly girl or an ugly woman; ugly like me and lonely like me. And you know what? I would do it for free. I would take her out to eat and I would pay. Why? Because I care enough to do it even if I'm not thrilled with it.I would do it because its the moral thing to do. Does this shed any light to you? How many pretty ladies out there who can be this kind and altruistic with an ugly guy? I don't see any long lines out there and I don't expect to because the facts remain that most pretty girls and women are vain to the UPMTEENTH DEGREE and UNFRIENDLY to the UMPTEENTH DEGREE.

By anonymous at 23,Jun,12 18:26

Not only are girls and women a big disappointment for me but boys and men young and old are a disappointment for me. I hate this fucking human world. I hate all people I really do. I don't care about the vast segment of humanity. I see so much evil cruelty depravity degeneracy and stupidity all around me in the world and on these websites which are infested with cruel trolls. Pure evil exudes from these degenerate dirtbags. Why is this shit allowed? Why ask an intelligent question? I ask God why he allows such evil rot. There is no answer and I feel I'm talking to myself. Evil scum abounds in the world and abounds on the Internet and abounds on this website. I tried to have a polite intelligent conversation but these trolls have taken over and ruined this website. It just increases my hatred for people and proves what a fucked up world this is. Satan is in charge of this world not a loving God. God is deficient in some manner so evil and suffering flourishes and the Devil can screw and fuck with human beings. Its a hopeless future.

By Georlin at 30,Jun,12 03:50

If you really love him, a lot of this can come nallrauty but at times you may have to remind yourself of these things. They're just as important to him as it is for you to feel appreciated and have your feelings considered and respected. If you want to get him back, you'll have to analyze yourself and your relationship and take these into consideration. If your relationship is to work, this has to be a part of it. At the core, it's fairly simple and keeping a man happy in a relationship doesn't have to be difficult...most of us are pretty forgiving too, so getting a second chance doesn't have to prove difficult either.--------

By anonymous at 03,Jul,12 19:05

I would like to state here the current situation and likely the permanent situation with me. I hate girls and women so much as I write above this blog that as lonely as I am for not having a girlfriend; I no longer want one. There's so much evil in girls and women chiefly being UNFIRENDLY. Its disgusting. Screw them. I don't have a girlfriend and I don't care. I don't want them around me. I don't want to see them and I don't want to hear them. Get lost and go away is what I have to say to them. I don't make eye contact with them and I turn away and walk away when I see them. I treat them the same way they treat me. I ignore them. Most girls and women are heartless assholes. The pretty ones are the worst. Even the average looking ones are unfriendly and aloof. And God created woman to keep man company. What a joke! There must be countless thousands of lonely guys such as myself all over the world. My hatred for girls and women continues and increases every day and every year that goes by and my hatred for people continues and increases everyday and every year that goes by. Its just another brick in the wall for me. Fuck women and fuck this human race. And I say again this fucked up world is ruled by the Devil. I just want to get AWAY from people.

By anonymous at 01,Sep,12 19:03

and my final comment to all you dirtbags who harassed me is FUCK YOU ASSHOLES.

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By Cathleen at 15,May,17 01:11

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