LIFE SUCKS

life is a bitch

so basically my story started when i was in elementary school. I was a shy kid and got picked on a lot. I had a lot of friends. I played sports and was social and happy. Then my parents got divorced and it was down hill until about a year ago. My parents would constantly fight. There were multiple lawsuits from either my mom against my dad or my dads greedy business partners trying to steal our money. I lived with my dad during the week and my mom on the weekend so i always viewed my dad as closer, also my mom was the one who left us. My dad was in very poor health most of my life and died when i was 16. I had to find him laying in his bed almost dead from being in a diabetic coma for hours and hours. He was in a coma for a month until we decided that his brain function would never return and we had to let him go. I had to see his body after he passed and he was just so green. like an alien almost. I lived with my mom after that full time. She got our old house after my dad died. I have never had a girl friend and never been on a date. although i have had some girls that i like and they liked me back but nothing i would call a relationship. Until last year i wasnt very good looking. I recently had corrective jaw surgery on both jaws and now look like i should.... average. Im 20 and a junior in college and still a virgin, not to say i havent fucking tried. i can't seem to figure out how to close the deal. Its like all my friends are passing me by and im still stuck as a kid because i havent had sex. Anyways i think the reason i havent had a relationship is because i saw what happened to my parents and it fucked with my head. they argued all the time and in the end my mom is lonely and i am trying my hardest to be the polar opposite of her. So that is the story of my life so far. Just felt i needed to write it down somewhere and share it. Now i am pretty happy, although it is still an uphill battle everyday, im getting there slowly