hi everybody,
i read your stories and i am truly sorry and wish i could help all of you, i really do. life is just not fair to some people.
so, here is my story...
i grew up in a dysfunctional family with my parents arguing, sisters who were never home (or so spoiled in one case), i had to do things for them since i was the youngest, we never had money even if my dad worked his butt off..
at the age of 10, my mum died, in my arms, my dad went to work in another country, one of my sisters went to live with her bf, my other sister, who had a 6 months old son, was never at home, so i practically lived alone taking care of the baby...i couldn't go out with my friends, to the beach, sometimes i would even miss school when the baby was sick. but, nevertheless, i graduated highschool several years later, and i was an excellent student all my life..then i worked the whole summer to get the money for college, but my sister made me quit college and go work so she could stay at home. then she stole all my money from my credit cards, which left me with a 5 thousand dollar debt at the age of 19...i still didn't manage to pay it off, and am still frequently sending her money-i'm a looser...
then i finally moved to another town after several fights. it was hard because of my nephew who is like a son to me. kept sending her money....
then, a few months ago, my dad died, and i broke, totally...i was a wreck, and still am..
but, i moved to another country and got married, so i thought i would be fine..well, i'm not. my husband is at work all the time, i can't find a job because all my jobs were in another country, i feel so lonely, have no friends at all...i even started feeling insecure, ugly and worthless...i don't know what to do.nobody knows how i feel because i am so good at pretending i'm fine, but actually, i'm dieing inside...i am not myself anymore, i lost the spark...i need help but i don't want to go to a shrink.
can somebody tell me, honestly, if i'm exagerating or not..
thank you all so very much... | |
My advice, based on personal experience, would be to stop pretending. I personally went through long periods of my life pretending and it only makes things worse since the further you are detached on the surface to your problems the harder it is to make the progress necessary to improve your life.
Next, and to your final line, of course you aren't exaggerating. I'm a guy that makes a lot of money, has a nice house, good wife, etc, but that doesn't change the fact that I'm not happy. No one can or should tell you that you are exaggerating because unhappiness is unhappiness, and most walks of life can at one time or another lead to unhappiness, regardless of how much we see society tell us otherwise.
It sounds like you do need help, and while their are a lot of negative connotations, especially in western society, to see a shrink, it might be something you should consider. Working with such a person you might also find that it's worth getting on anti-depressants, as an effort to allow you to come to terms with some of the hardships are facing.
Take heart, it sounds like you are full of compassion and just from your post I can see a lot of good in you, it might take a while for you to see the same in yourself.
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