LIFE SUCKS

i guess it could be worse.

I am a 20 year old male and seem to have alot of life ahead of me. Unfortunately it seems like i have screwed up everything in my path. Or at least i get blamed for most of the problems in my life. I was taken into custody by the state of Florida at 5 along with my 3 siblings because my parents thought it would be better to do dope rather than take care of their 4 children. So during my stay in foster care i was separated from my siblings and i lived in 11 different homes until the time a "christian" couple adopted us all out of faster care when i was 7. We were in foster care with the state of Florida for 2 years before being adopted. Anyways the couple that adopted us really laid this big brother role on me. I was supposed to set a good example for my younger 3 siblings. I hated my adoptive parents and i just could not live up to there big brother standards. Every time i would make a mistake my "dad" would remind me that i took all the joy out of their family. My younger siblings were taught to believe that i am the reason they make mistakes because i set a bad example. I wanted to leave. I hated these people. I ran a way 9 times and of course got caught every time. I called DCF several times and they would never believe my stories about getting knocked out when my dad would slap me and how he would beat me anywhere he could hit me on my body. How could he get away with this? Anyway i begged them to let me go back to foster care. So they sent me to a christian boys home called Rodeheaver Boys Ranch in Palatka, Fl. I loved it. Life was free without my adoptive parents. I got involved in marijuana. That led to me getting kicked out shortly after i found out that the girl i had been dating for 9 months cheated on me for the last 3 of those months. That sucked. So when i got kicked out i was sent to another christian boys home called Camp Tracey. I remained at this home(labor camp) for several years. I was doing well for the most part. I had my first gay experience there which resulted in my gf finding out that i was having sex with other boys my age. She was understanding. I ran away and fucked up getting a second chance with her. When i turned 18 i left and had a decision to make. I still hadn't finished school, so it was either go to school and be homeless or i could drop out and support myself with a job. I couldn't do both. So i chose a job. I wanted a place to live. I eventually ended up in Jacksonville, Florida with a job at Dollar General. I was homeless so i was living on the streets. That sucked. I was homeless from march of 2009 to september 21 of 2009. I found my birth dad and moved in with him in Lakeland, Florida. I lived with him for 6 months and for some reason we just could not get along. I then moved to Colorado with my birth mom. Well she ended up getting hooked on dope again and she blamed her addiction on me now. And now the friend that i live with blames all his problems on me. Because i totally make other peoples stupid decisions for them. Im sure someone has it worse, but for me my life has always sucked and it still sucks and no matter how hard i try it gets no better. Wish i would die already.