About six years ago, I dated a guy in uni.
I was naive and very young.
I wanted the ultimate love story- met in uni and got married.
Obviously, he wanted different things and we broke up.
When he left, I became a bit of a hermit.
I socialized only with close friends and no longer wanted to go out.
I became jealous of other people's lives and started to centralize my thoughts around how lucky everyone else is and forgot to live my own life.
Time passes by of course.
After uni, we all went our separate ways.
I have an OK job but I'm very lonely.
I feel like as if I've lost my ability to connect with people around me.
I keep people at arm's length and I avoid going out- because it feels awkward.
Lame excuse I know.
But because of all these actions, I'm very lonely.
Its an odd situation- where you don't want to be lonely, but you don't want to go through the painfully awkward process of trying to find your crowd.
Because I'm sure- that it is all just a numbers game.
And if you can't even find friends, why would you go looking for a life partner?
Surely- they would look at you and think you're weird for spending all your time on your own?
I foresee a very lonely life involving cats and tea.
Until, I decide to change my life/ do something differently, I will always be lonely.
Isn't it strange?
I know the issue, I know how to resolve it, but I won't.
Why?
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Finding friends and a life partner are two things that are so much alike, and yet very different. You can definitely have friends, but never find a life partner, and I'm pretty sure it;s possible the other way round.
You said:
"Surely- they would look at you and think you're weird for spending all your time on your own?"
I can't speak for everyone, but I surely would not, and I'm sure lots of people would tend to think like I do. I would find it intriguing, strange, fascinating, interesting... Weird could also be used to describe how I would feel about such a person, but I don't mean it in a bad way. It's something that, in general, I would tend not to pay too much attention to. Of course, there are also lots of people who would not like to meet anyone who hasn't got any friends. It's all just a matter of preference, and different people like different things. I can only assure you that if I liked someone romantically (I'm a guy by the way), I couldn't care less if she had any friends or not. As long as *I* liked her (and hopefully she liked me back). That hasn't happened yet though :D, ah well..
Good luck!
It's true about the hobbies. And I think if you find people who have a passionate interest in the same thing as you, that'll be all that matters and they'll overlook other aspects of your personality (such as spending a lot of time on your own).
I'm just trying to be patient and hope that eventually I'll make a few good friends again. You're not alone!
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