LIFE SUCKS

my "unlife"

My life started out as an unwanted baby and given up for adoption after two foster homes. From kindergarden to 12th grade I was taunted and teased and tortured everyday for having a lazy eye. At 15 was diagnosed with major depression. I was date raped 16. I got married at 18 to someone I thought loved me and was physically and emotionally abusive to me for 20 years, I tried to leave and couldn't make it financially on my own with two kids. Finally divorced him and live at poverty level struggling financially and emotionally and can't afford to live. Then, I thought I met a nice guy and all he did was take advantage of me and pick at me everyday about EVERYTHING. My two adult kids live with me and have made every mistake with their lives and their dad never lends me a hand. I wake up everyday wondering "why am I still alive"? I am in my 40's and can't get a decent job and I only make .50 cents more than minimum wage and have been looking for another job for a year now and can't even get an interview, no one in my life that cares, my parents both died of cancer. My kids treat me like I am nothing and no one. I want to die everyday, It is really sad when you hear about some great person, some humanitarian, someone who was a hero, or had it all in their life and they die. They are the one's that had something to live for, I feel useless, uneducated, pointless, worthless, unappreciated, used, mislead, and I have never felt I should have even been born in the first place. I must be really the most pathetic person to wish everyday for death.