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Posted by Animas at August 18, 2011
Tags: Abuse  2011 August  Health

My life sucks. I had a normal life growing up until I recently found out that i had repressed memories of my older brother beating me, abusing me, and attempting to kill me. He acts normal but lately at night I've getting my memories back and all of them are visions and sounds of my older brother doing things to me that I don't remember. I went to a therapist and he told me that I might have repressed memories of my older brother and that the anger and fear I have from him is because of the things he's done to me. So all of my emotions I feel towards my older brother and myself is from him. he's the one who makes me try and kill myself multiple times and he's the one who makes me want to kill him and anyone who acts like him. It's all his fault that I couldn't have a normal relationship with my family and friends and he's the reason I'm anti-social. My life sucks and I want to kill him and after that kill myself.


Similar Entries:
Why people? WHY!? April 16, 2012
Crappy April 12, 2011
Useless March 7, 2012
Murder, raped, robbed, abused as child, almost killed October 9, 2011
I'm sorry for making you sorry. March 18, 2012

New Comment

By at 10,Oct,11 18:37


By anonymous at 10,Oct,11 20:27

What he did was wrong, but you cant spend your whole life blaming EVERYTHING that gos wrong on him. Take some responsability for your own actions.

By Missy at 10,Oct,11 22:53

Don't do anything desprate. That is what would end your life. I beat by my boyfreind and he almost killed me. Face your demons and say thiis Yiu are not ruining my life and also pray to god and hope you get help. The teapist you is tring make think it is your fualt when It wasn't your fualt. One had happen to her when she gor raped. Let this guy know that you know wha the is up to. Also let him that it is not fualt for what went throgh. Do let this run your life try and move on.

By anonymous at 12,Oct,11 20:01

when u turn 16 get a small side job for a few weeks then take ur first pay check to the pawn shop buy a gun nothing fancy wait till ur brother goes to sleep and shoot him in the temple (im not jokeing)when u are about to pull the trigger and u have regret remember, he abused and tormented u for years,send him into the after life so god can judje him i strongly suggest killing urself after that
By anonymous at 23,Oct,11 04:13

Who are you, the devil? You trying to take this kids soul or what? Sicko.

By anonymous at 13,Oct,11 12:10

For about 5 years from 11 to 15 my brother would beat the shit out of me, he had anger issues and was a spoiled brat, my mom could not control him and my dad was always working. I received a regular bloody nose and bruises all over. I started working out and working on my social skills around 15. So at 16 we fought about something stupid that blew up (tv lol) i brought up how he used to beat the shit out of me infront of the whole family and i beat him to a pulp with blood coming out of his nose and ears than crushed his playstation and the next week stole his g.f. Were still brothers so the hate is gone but we never fight anymore. one good ass beating and moral wrecker too avenge my past abuse. I suggest this

By anonymous at 10,Nov,11 20:59

I know you probably don't believe in this stuff, but it sounds like a past life thing. Try practicing compassion to heal yourself and forgive him. I've been in similar circumstances where my actions surprised me, and then I found out the person severely abused me in a past life and killed me. I have another birthmark on my leg from the same lifetime where I lost it in bombings. Forgive your brother so you can both move on. It will heal you more than you can ever know. Sometimes we incarnate where a variety of things make you irrationally and capriciously angry, but the life before you were quite the opposite. I'm sorry you're in so much pain.

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