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F*ck my life...

Posted by Emma at July 27, 2011
Tags: Anxiety  Appearance  2011 July  Juvenile problems

My life is sh*t. I know I'm only 15 but it sucks so much.

I have two friends. Who basically never hang out with me, making me a loner. Because most of the time I CHOOSE not to hang out with them, None the less they don't want to hang out with me anyways. Since the age of eight I've been a loner, I've always enjoyed being alone instead of being surrounded by people. I hate being social. I HATE IT.

I'm over-wheight. I'm so scared about my health. I'm scared to see how heavy I really am. But I'm definetly fat. Making it impossible to find clothes that look okay but fit. I'm not over wheight to the point I need to shop at big and tall but I'm still pretty fat for my age.

I've missed so much school to the point where I would rather just die than do it. Yes, lots of kids hate school. But I actually like it, but due to my parents I've missed a ton of it.

I have a huge anxiety disorder. I got anxious over the smallest things.

I want to kill myself, but I don't have the guts to do it. Well first option is to shoot myself, Which I can't do because I don't have a gun, and how is a 15 year old going to get a gun? Another option is that I hang myself, but I have a fear of suffocation. Which is the whole point of hanging myself. So hanging and drowning myself are not options. Other than an over dose from drugs, I don't know what I could possibly do to kill myself. I wish everything would just work out for me. But obviously that's never going to happen.


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Comments:
By anonymous at 15,Sep,11 23:10

Believe me when I say that IT WILL GET BETTER!!! I also have a huge anxiety disorder and struggled a lot when I was in high school. I know it is really hard to talk openly with people when you have an anxiety disorder, but you should really try very hard to talk to a counselor at your school. Counselors are patient and will help you to express what's going on if you can't find the right words. If you can't find someone to talk to at school please visit this website:

http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/

or call this number:

1-800-273-TALK

By calling this number you can stay anonymous but you can still talk about the things that are concerning you. There are people out there that care about you even if they don't know you. See, I took the time to respond to your message and I have never even met you. You are going to be okay, sweet thing. It will get better you just have to let it.


By anonymous at 17,Sep,11 06:34

Don't hurt yourself! You'd be suprised at how great working out will make you feel, weight is not an issuse when its something that you can control, so take control of your own life and start feeling better. It can be as simple as a 30min walk 3 or 4 times a week


By anonymous at 17,Sep,11 06:37

Oh yeah and working out also helps with anxiety


By anonymous at 30,Sep,11 20:21

Emma, please do nothing to hurt yourself, if you need to see a therapist to get through this difficult time then do it. You don't have to tell anyone. You are a unique gift to this world, even when life seems impossible, you will be able to look back at this time with a new attitude. Please get the help you need, I hope your parents will understand. Respect yourself, because you are worth it! Always remember that.


By anonymous at 09,Oct,11 03:11

dont hurt yourself because you're life hasn't started yet.as you get older you'll experience many great things but if you hang yourself now you will never know what joyful surprises can be thrown at you.trust me i know how you feel.like theres no light at the end of the tunnel but life only sucks if you make it suck.if you want to be anti-social and hang yourself then life isn't going to be good.if you try and make it good the results can be pretty good.


By anonymous at 24,Oct,11 17:44

Things get better, believe me(and the person below me)..you'll go thru hardships but it'll just make you a stronger person in the end, and next time something like it happens, you'll know how to handle it.

Life is full of wonder and extraordinary things, theres no need to end your life. Try finding a hobby. Create things, draw, write, listen to good, upbeat music-NOT sad music. One thing that I personally like to do as a creative thing, is create characters in my head, and make stories.

Darlin, your'e only 15. You have so much ahead of you. The weight thing, pish posh. Don't run away from it, you can lose weight..i used to weight almost 300 pounds, now I weight 140..You can do anything..ANYTHING..that you put your mind to.


By at 02,Nov,11 20:02

Please don't kill your self. I'm pretty much in your same situation, except I like being social. My friends are all major douchebags, but know it will get better. Stay strong. Ignore everyone else. Bitches be crazy.


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