LIFE SUCKS

so what now?

I could go into details about how my life sucks, my history of living in poverty, the sexual abuse, my abusive father who spent most of his time behind bars, the lack of any connection with family, the continuous struggle to try to make and keep friends... I know I'm not alone here - we've all had some messed up lives. I've been told to pray and seek guidance from God. I do that all the time. God helps those who help themselves. The problem I see is this - how can one help themself if they don't have the strength or support to do so? There's no solid foundation, no financial stability, no jobs that will hire you (no matter how good you make yourself and your resume out to be), no moral support network, no friends, no family... Nobody wants to be burdened with additional burdens. And why would they? Imagine yourself driving down the road and you see someone with a flat tire. Would you help that person? If so, prepare for additional burden and possibly being hurt. If not, like most, you drive on. Now imagine being the one with the flat tire, with no spare, no cell phone, nobody who will help... so you walk until you can't walk no more. How far can one continue to walk? The talk of suicide was always a cry for help, but at this point in life, it seems like a viable option. It's too bad we're designed to feel pain as we die. It's a choice between living in pain day after day, or going through the ultimate pain of death and putting the suffering to an end. It's not fair for others - they will suffer the loss too. But it's also not fair that they can do nothing to help. I blame society. Until society changes, everyone will have stories to tell, with no solution in sight. I bid you all well and though I care, I'm held helpless to my own inadequacy.