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Life is hard

Posted by anonymous at July 9, 2011
Tags: Family  2011 July  Juvenile problems  Violence

My mum and dad are both hot headed. My dad especially. When I was younger, from age 4, I used to have to try and stop my dad from smashing my mum and giving her black eyes. When I went to primary school I was an outcast and when my name was mentioned everyone would go ..'eww'. I prayed every night for so long that things would get better, and to be fair they did for a while, but now all my mum does is scream and complain. My brother got into drugs and drinks a fair bit. My dad, who was kicked out and whom I see only once every week or two, was up and had a fight with my mum calling her words like a stupid bitch, he then almost hit her. My brother then asked him to leave and then he tried to hit my brother and once again I was in the middle trying to break them up. He has gone now. I know I won't be seeing him for a while. Even though hes violent and an angry old man there is a good side to him, and this is why not seeing him for months is upsetting. People who have two parents who can talk to eachother just dont realize how lucky they are. I'm at secondary school now and even though i'm more liked and talk to more people, I still get the piss taken out of me all the time. I try to laugh it off but sometimes constant remarks making fun of your appearance get to you after a while. I don't have much friends or a girl friend and i'm much too socially awkward to talk to new people. I worked so hard in my exams but I genuinly don't believe I will get into my university course, which is really frustrating. I feel like a complete freak! I still pray, I know through all this hardship and from being a child getting bullied at school and coming home to domestic violence, that there will always be good times. I just wish they would come a bit sooner, and a bit more often. Life is hard and theres times when you just want to go to sleep forever and not have to wake up to the constant sadness. But everything happens for a reason, from the mistakes my partially alcoholic parents have made, I learn from them and know what not to do when I get children of my own. From all the bullying I get, I get stronger, even through the periods of weakness. I don't want to sound like one of those people that are completely acceptant of all the shit that happens to them or a complete God-nut but i'm just grateful that i'm not living in Africa with my family dying around me and fearing for my own life while starving to death. I'm happy I don't drink (even though I live in Ireland lol) smoke, take drugs or cut myself as so many poor people have resorted to. Im happy I have a few close friends and that i'm one of the smartest people in my year. I just wish I didn't have my past or the horrible feeling of emptyness and worry that i'm going through now.


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New Comment

By Missy at 24,Aug,11 02:38

go get therapy it helped me after my boyfreind beat and came close to kiling me. I recovered becuase I did not give up. Another when I was in pprivate i walkedeveryday and some grabbed and dragged e inot a house ad took off all my uniform socks slip bra and panties. i don't know if I was raped or not becuase I blacked out. Therapy has helped me. Try iand if you i does not help then you can quit a t anytime and they will tell you that.

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