well let see im 21 years old barely making my way through college. still live at home and it doesnt looks like thats gonna change anytime soon. never jn my life have i had any true friends and i came ti find this out too late. just people hangig out not with but rather next to me to make themselves look better and they did when standing next to me. never invited to one party or even out to the movies. dint have a car because i just cant seem to find or keep a job long enough to save a little money, hell dont even have a license yet because i just feel like tyeres no point in trying anymore. never been talked to by any guys in anyway shape or form and neer been kissed forthat matter. feel like im just stuck in a hole and cant get out and everyone is moving on but me. i just feel like my life is over before it really began, like my heart is broken but it was never really all there you know so how could it. no one to talk to because they dont understand everybody has their own unique pain in the ass problems and i just dont know ehat to do anymore. cry myself to sleep every night i just might run out and finally just shut down and feel nothing anymore. its gotten so bad that i avoid mirrors and lights as much as i can im so disgusting to look at. live life like an emotionless robot just going through the motions to keep up apperiences. and thats the worst part, nobody even seems to notice somethings wrong. and the fact that there are people homeless and starvig in the world who are far worst off than me just depresses me more because atleast i know where my next meal is coming from and i know i have a bed to go cry myself to sleep on every night and they dont so what gives me the right to even complain right? anyways, just gotta wake up in the morning put on the mask and plaster on the fakest smile and keep burrying it all down until one day i just explode all together or just cave in on myself. Thanks for reading . | |
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Firend problem? Find a hobby, play some video game, learn to perform any kind of art in group, or go to a church and praise the lord's grace. You will find friends where there are reasons that gather people together as you join there.
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