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Name says it all

Posted by pathetic loser club at May 11, 2011
Tags: Anxiety  Loneliness  2011 May

I call my life the anti-life.

I am 40 yrs old and have always had very, very few friends, and a lot of time none at all. The ones I do have kind of tolerate me more than actually like me.

No one ever chooses me, but hangs out with me if everyone else is busy and they're bored. Even my family. I'm never invited to anything, parties, showers,weddings, even the stupid sales parties to buy candles and whatever. I spend most of my time sitting around alone and wishing I had something to do, even just to go to lunch with someone.

I've been in bad relationships with whatever man will have me (alcoholics and slackers), and am in a loveless marriage (on my husband's part) based on him wanting US citizenship. He's told me he's going to leave as soon as he can.

On top of all that, I'm ugly (as people have told me)and suffer from bipolar depression, with a lot of times feeling suicidal or paranoid, anxiety, and I have pretty bad arthritis. As a result of my illness, I have very little energy or motivation and find it very hard to get basic things like paying bills, my job, etc done.

All I want is one child and a reasonable good relationship with a man, but it looks like neither of those are going to happen. I don't know what I'll do when my parents die and I'm alone with no friends OR family.

Life sucks. Period.


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By anonymous at 20,May,11 08:41

I can relate to a lot of what you're experiencing. I'm 31 & have no friends except for family. My mother is my best friend. I find that most people are shitty human beings and users, so I'd rather not be bothered. But it does get lonely.

The part I can't relate to is being with a man who doesn't love you and is openly using you. It sounds like you have low self esteem. There's somebody for everyone and I'm sure there's somebody out there who will love you and consider you attractive. If not, why not be single? There's nothing wrong with being single; that's better than being in a bad relationship. You're wasting your time with this loser when you could be looking for someone who can actually give you what you want. Remember, if you don't love yourself how can you expect someone else to love you?
By anonymous at 29,May,11 23:31

You're tougher than I am. I can handle not having friends if I'm in a relationship, even a bad relationship. I live 2000 miles away from my family due to my job, so I would have no one else. My Mom is my best friend, too, but I don't get to see her very much.

By anonymous at 20,May,11 15:29

When I turned 18, I left my (sick, pathetic) family and my few friends behind. I had the freedom to restart my life the way I chose. I got a job flipping burgers and found a place that I could afford to live.
I have joined several clubs over the years and made friend, as we already had common interests.
If you have a hobby, there is a club somewhere that supports it. If the club does not work out, quit and join another.

By anonymous at 21,May,11 23:26

I can relate with you. I have a few friends but it seems that I they are like me. People that nobody else want. I am tired to be left behind for people that really mattes to me. I just dont get why there are not true sucesfull and nice friends.
By anonymous at 29,May,11 23:28

I know people who are not nice, loyal, giving, and have plenty of friends.Actually, I know a lot of jerks with friends. How does that happen?

By anonymous at 23,May,11 18:45

I agree that you have low self-esteem and I'm sure this isn't helped by having people around you that are using you or telling you horrible things as you have mentioned. You're worth far more than this even though you don't seem to think so. I realise it may not seem practical to do new things when the things you have to do already seem like too much but it seems like you're in a bit of a vicious cycle and need to gain confidence by doing new things or finding new interests.

Another poster mentioned you have to love yourself: I would add you need to value yourself too.
By anonymous at 29,May,11 23:27

Does anyone ever realize that low self esteem is a result of repeated rejection, and not the cause of it?

By anonymous at 28,May,11 16:53

i am over 40 and i never been married and all the guys who wanted me was either drunks,sex offenders and on disable... i had only one best true friend and now that friend as past...i was never invited to wedding,showers,parties.. i am overweight with degenerative disc dease..all i want is one good guy to love me for me and find a good true honest friend.
By anonymous at 29,May,11 23:26

I swear I think some people are cursed. I see so many people who treat others like crap and have friends, boyfriends, husbands. What is wrong with us? (BTW- I don't think weight has a lot to do with crappy life, altho it probably doesn't help, but my sister is extremely overweight and has a sweet, loving, kind fiance and a new baby!)

By anonymous at 01,Jul,11 23:21

I am experiencing the same things as you. I am 42 and have 2 grown daughters and I am going out of my mind from boredom. My family rarely fools with me. It wasn't always that way but something happened for things to change and I don't know what happened. I am not working because I have bipolar depression. I lost my job in 2007 and have been having a hard time finding work since then. My friends that I grew up in high school with don't fool with me anymore. I do puzzles sometimes and get out and take a little ride on the bus or train every now and then. I had planned on being in a better position than I am in right now but my plans didn't pan out for some odd reason. I am so surprised to see so many young people in there twenties going through the same thing. It hurts like hell being all alone and feeling like no one cares or gives a shit about you. The thing that really sucks is when people pretend to care and they don't give a lovely fuck about you. Sometimes I feel like the people closest to me could care less what happens to me. My mother, brother, and my 2 daughters really shock me because they act like they don't give a shit and the sad part is they probably don't. All I can say is hang in there and maybe things will get better one day. One things for sure I am tired as hell going through this shit. IT HURTS LIKE HELL!!!

By Lina at 26,Nov,11 08:26

Just what the doctor orederd, thankity you!

By anonymous at 27,Nov,12 05:17

I feel you.

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