well i vaguely remember what it was like to be happy feel normal and felt like i had a good shot at a decent future but thats all pretty much gone now. 6 years of meth abuse will take care of all that pretty quick. lost my job recently now im unemployed and cant even afford the one thing that makes me a little happy for a short time, its for the best obviously. i live in a disgusting garage full of bugs, mice, and dog shit because of my two dogs that live in here with me. i have applied for countless jobs but no one even calls back most likely because of my criminal history which mostly consists of addiction issues or my work history and actually im a good worker and can hold a job for years but eventually it ends in a bad way. i cant get into the military i cant donate plasma or sperm i am on vision card money just to eat. i know the people who live in this house do not want me here and are always bringing me down. my car is about to crap out. my teeth are screwed up now thanks to the drugs, my stomach always hurts and i have diarrhea often. i had my last job for 6 years and made 12.50 an hour. i used to think my 3 to 400 dollar a week paychecks sucked and could barely make it through the week. now i'm getting by on maybe 10 or 20 a week if im lucky. i dont want to kill myself and i dont want to die however i do wish i was never born. regardless life sucks big time.