LIFE SUCKS

Why...

When I was 4 years old, i pretended to be an airplane and i ran into a sharp piece of plastic. My dad said it was all my fault and i passed out due to blood loss. my mom found me and my brother took me to the hospital. My brother protected me with his life. When I was 6, my dad died right infront of me and he drown by breathing in his blood. I didnt call an ambulance because i thought it was his fault (what could you expect?) When I was 9, a man stalked me and my mom. My brother followed this guy and threatened him. The man tried to rape me and my mom. My brother was pissed. The man fled town. When I was 10 my mom remarried. this guy was ok but he treated me like shit. I was an outcast. Only three clean plates? Sorry CryShy doesnt eat today. Thats where I got the nickname. My name is Shy. When I cried out is hunger, he called me CryShy. I guess it stuck. My brother hated this guy. When I was 11, I was picked up from school by a police officer. He took me to a therapy room full of my family. They were crying. I was very scared. They said that my brother had shot himself. My vision was blurry and i couldnt hear. I cried for 6 hours strait -no joke-. I was so lost. At age 12, I had my first real boyfriend. he was 15 though. he molested me. I went crying to my best friend. my friend was a gurl. My best friend soon became my gurlfriend. Literally. I became bisexual. I loved a guy and a gurl and he loved us both so it worked out as a 3 way relationship. My mom is homophobic so when she found out, she kicked me out. Instead of reporting it, I went to my gurlfriends house. We lived together. Our boyfriend came over and we explained to her mom. She said that was fine. We went a year living together. Our boyfriend was hit by a car one night. My gurlfriend killed herself. I was now 16. I was very pretty. Every guy was after me but... I didnt feel right. I moved in with this guy Dusty that my mom knew his mom... I always had a crush on him. I went up to his room to tell him how I felt. I got kinda nervous but I knocked on the door. He asked who it was and I said me. He let me in. He said he cut himself and he was going to kill himself. I told him I did to and I understood. After a couple jokes we were half way between crying and laughing. I said I loved him. he looked at me weird and I felt embarrased. He kissed me. I dated him for 3 years and then he found out he had cancer. he died. I was now almost 20. I stayed away frome the world. At 21, my friends made me go to a party for my 21st bday. Why not? This is why. My new best friend Mandy was a fun party chic. Bisexual so she new how to have a fun party. I had fun until the cops showed up. I was outside with my other friends. We realized the "cops" we heard was an ambulance. I shuttered at the noise. I still remember the day. They rushed inside. When I saw the face of the woman being pulled out, I ran to the ambulance. The rest is a blank until, I remember a doctor -i think- told me he was sorry, then another blank. I know what he said. You probley do too. I went home and slit my wrists so deep the scars are still indented. I called 911. I was put in a lock down for 90 days. I got out and I still have therapy but heres another bad thing, im dying. I had 2 heart attacks. My kidneys are failing. I am only 22. Doctors say my body is LITERALLY giving up. I said thank you god and I cried. I will be relieved of this pain. This is all true. I just wanted my story to be heard before I die. By somone. Someone to listen. Someone to care. I hope you care, just so my life wasnt completely worthless.
--CryShy