Its very hard to be optimistic when my life stays shitty. I'm a 32 year old single parent female, I have three kids two baby daddys both who have abused me raped me and treated me like crap. I had a decent job til about a year ago I lost it and now I work a crappy job barely get by. I lost my dad 8 years ago and since then my 72 year old mother has been very hard to deal with. To be honest I've never felt very loved my whole life and I yearn for anyone to love me. I'm not very pretty but I'm not the ugliest I don't think it doesn't matter if I was because I'm easily taken advantage of because I'm always tryna help everyone out. I want to be inlove so bad I think I imagine being inlove all the time and no matter how bad a man treats me I claim I love them. I have mad trust issues with good reason because I've never had a good reason to trust anyone. I have bad anger I can feel the anger in my bones it hurts so much. I've found myself in a relationship of 6 months where he has beat me up once but he calls me names and makes me feel like garbage and I have good reason to believe he is cheating and I can't help but believe he is only with me because of money car ect. My whole family hates me part of it because I'm a white girl who is only attracted to black men and my kids are mixed. My two oldest children are 13 11 year old girls who argue with me and don't take me very seriously. I have a crappy house car and I dropped out in 12th grade of high school I've tried to go back I'm jus not capable of it. I've pretty much fucked my whole life up. I'm constantly wishing I was dead or thinking bout killing myself and I cry myself to sleep like every nite. No friends either no one to talk to no one cares | |
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I am not even American, blue blazes learn to speak rednecks!
Perhaps it's just my decent english
(sorry for my bad english, but I'm not american either... im mexican)
Honey I know life must b hard, and everyone that is here can relate to it but you know what, the beauty of lice is that as much as fuck up as it might seem there is always a door that will lead us to happiness just hang in there.
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