I'll skip my childhood. At 16 my abusive pot-smoking mother spit in my face and kicked me out, i spent the first night trying to dry my socks with a candle in negative temperatures. Unable to sleep because of the cold and coyotes i walked until i found reasonable cover on a bench behind a bowling alley.
I lived in a group home and various places until i finished high school. For a few months i would get up to bike an hour to school, then bike and hour and half to work at time hortons for 8 hours, and bike for two hours home to get to sleep at close to 1am. My landlord ran an insurance scam and accused me of stealing $10,000 from his home. I subsequently spent 2 months sleeping on an exercise mat in a garage, again in winter.
On my 21st birthday my father overdosed on heroin, when i learned of this i smoked a bowl of green and went to bed, i had work in the morning. I was soon fired for acting up at work. However, my father had some kind of insurance and i got around $17k, i spent the money on an electrical pre-apprenticeship course and living cost for the time. I got an apprenticeship, then my boss died. I got another apprenticeship, was laid off at christmas.
I spent 3 months hand-balming 70 pound bundles of shingles for 12 hour days, i didnt realize the dangers. I now have completely fucked hips. The stress over the years has caused me to have severe acid reflux. My stomach and hips prevent me from doing martial arts, the only thing i love.
For the past year ive been trying to get an apprenticeship but nobody wants to hire a novice. My freind invited me to stay with him in his moms house, and his mom got me a job with her boss's construction company. a few months ago i sprained my ankle stepping off a curb, i lost my job. My freind turned out to be a bitch, i lost my place to live.
This past christmas i went to the family dinner, i was so ashamed that i couldnt afford to buy my family christmas presents that i left early to cry like a little girl. I didnt cry at my fathers funeral, but i sobbed for hours after my grandfather tried to give me 500$ and i was too proud to take it. I got some mail from the government, their christmas present to me was an audit from two years ago and a bill for $800.
My whole life I've worked like a dog, payed all my bills on time and never cheated anyone. More and more i find myself asking why do i go to the trouble if all i get is fucking trouble. | |
That is the perfect name for one such as yourself who after all the hardships, has managed to walk ahead. I admire how proud you were that you dissent take the money but it takes more bravery to accept help. You do not seem like a lazy person at all those fuckers who are commenting of how lazy your are, are demented, there's really no advice for me to give you, because you truly have the heart of a champion, There is this poem I'd like you to read, it's called " invictus " which is Latin for undefeated. I read it for inspiration, after all that's all that we need sometimes.
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