Im 17 years old. My life completely sucks.. i regret being born. It all started when my dad cheated on my stepmom with my mom.. that's how i came into this damn world, can you believe that?
I dont think i was wanted by either of my parents. I was raised by my grandmother the first few years of my life then moved back in with my mother.
I have 2 stepbrothers and 2 stepsisters. they act like they care about me sometimes.. i only love my 9 year old step sister. i think i am still living because of her and because maybe there's a little hope..
I havent had a real boyfriend. never. i think i never will either im a horrible looking thing... i graduated from high school and im a freshman in college. My dream is to become an OB/GYN.. ='(
I suck at everything though.. im reeeally bad at math.
i forgot to mention i was molested by a stranger when i was about 9 years old.. no one knows this.. i never even told my mom.
i live with my dad. i have a stepmom. i believe i currently suffer from depression. it all started when i met my dad and his wife. since he never was in my life when i was a kid i hated him. my stepmom was nice to me for the first two months when i came here but then it all was hell. she hated me and my guts. i didnt eat for days, i couldnt sleep at night.. i cried too much.. and still do.
thank God things have gotten better with my stepmom and my dad. i am really sad all the time though. i miss my mother.. i dont know what to do with my life. i tried swallowing half a bottle of advil pills. that was unsuccessful. my gastritis just got worse thats all.
i wish i had someone to talk to. tell someone how i feel. i wish i had someone that cared. i pray frequently. i just dont know what to do anymore. i have all these thoughts in my head. all i want to do is end this. i dont think ill ever make it to what i dream. so what's the point? ive been through too much and enough. ='( | |
You have the aspiration to be an ob/gyn. Wow! Stick with it, and don't take a bottle of Advil ever again. Don't hurt your precious self.
At 17, you have your whole life ahead of you and it CAN and WILL change for the better. You are worthy and you only get one chance at this life. What do you really want to do with your ONE PRECIOUS life?
What I would caution you to do is be very gentle and protective of yourself. Be careful in your romantic relationsips, as it sounds as though you have a hard time valuing yourself. Be careful who you choose to spend your time with. Choose people who are kind and gentle. Choose people who are worthy of your time and gifts.
Take care.
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