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untitled story

Posted by Forgotten101 at December 27, 2010
Tags: 2010 December  Family  Juvenile problems

Im 17 years old. My life completely sucks.. i regret being born. It all started when my dad cheated on my stepmom with my mom.. that's how i came into this damn world, can you believe that?

I dont think i was wanted by either of my parents. I was raised by my grandmother the first few years of my life then moved back in with my mother.

I have 2 stepbrothers and 2 stepsisters. they act like they care about me sometimes.. i only love my 9 year old step sister. i think i am still living because of her and because maybe there's a little hope..

I havent had a real boyfriend. never. i think i never will either im a horrible looking thing... i graduated from high school and im a freshman in college. My dream is to become an OB/GYN.. ='(

I suck at everything though.. im reeeally bad at math.
i forgot to mention i was molested by a stranger when i was about 9 years old.. no one knows this.. i never even told my mom.

i live with my dad. i have a stepmom. i believe i currently suffer from depression. it all started when i met my dad and his wife. since he never was in my life when i was a kid i hated him. my stepmom was nice to me for the first two months when i came here but then it all was hell. she hated me and my guts. i didnt eat for days, i couldnt sleep at night.. i cried too much.. and still do.

thank God things have gotten better with my stepmom and my dad. i am really sad all the time though. i miss my mother.. i dont know what to do with my life. i tried swallowing half a bottle of advil pills. that was unsuccessful. my gastritis just got worse thats all.

i wish i had someone to talk to. tell someone how i feel. i wish i had someone that cared. i pray frequently. i just dont know what to do anymore. i have all these thoughts in my head. all i want to do is end this. i dont think ill ever make it to what i dream. so what's the point? ive been through too much and enough. ='(


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Comments:
By at 16,Jan,11 15:07

It will be ok. Look at the positive side of things. Look for your own passion and find strength in it then use that energy to move forward in your life. Just get your ducks in order then move forward. Don't look back!


By anonymous at 17,Jan,11 00:09

hey you sound like a smart person to have a goal of being an ob/gyn. I think many people can relate to what you are going through. I believe you can get through this. You also dont need a boyfriend at your age. Boyfriends are a waste of time you should focus your energy on studying so you can be an obgyn or whatever. Later on you can find a guy when the time is right. Many guys feel just like you too as though they cant get a girl anyway. You need to take some time to start doing some excercise even if its just walking a mile a day. That will help with the depression. Sounds like your parents did you wrong but the good news is you have the opportunity to be a better person then them. You can learn from their mistakes. See how you can find ways to help others and share compassion instead of focusing on the bad things that happened to you.


By anonymous at 20,Apr,11 21:57

I want to give you a big fat hug. When I was 17, I felt horrible about my precious self too. I never had a boyfriend, and thought I was ugly. I didn't feel wanted at all. I can relate to how you feel. Your feelings are valid, but don't let them define you.

You have the aspiration to be an ob/gyn. Wow! Stick with it, and don't take a bottle of Advil ever again. Don't hurt your precious self.

At 17, you have your whole life ahead of you and it CAN and WILL change for the better. You are worthy and you only get one chance at this life. What do you really want to do with your ONE PRECIOUS life?

What I would caution you to do is be very gentle and protective of yourself. Be careful in your romantic relationsips, as it sounds as though you have a hard time valuing yourself. Be careful who you choose to spend your time with. Choose people who are kind and gentle. Choose people who are worthy of your time and gifts.

Take care.


By at 24,Jul,11 00:29

Walking in the presence of giants here. Cool thinking all aounrd!


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