Both my parents died when I was really young, as well as both sets of grand parents. I've also lost 3 brothers and recently, a sister. I avoid ever getting close to anyone, I always fear they'll die, if I stay away from people, it won't hurt when they do die. I was also sexually abused a lot as a child, with no parents to protect me, I was easy prey, which of course means I have issues with intimacy.
I'm not even 30. I'm stuck in a dead end job where my boss (who's rich and flaunts it) treats me like a second class citizen. I'm getting deeper and deeper into debt because I get paid so little. I have severe insomnia and I am slowly going insane from it, I feel my mind bend a little more every day. Not to mention my debilitating IBS and sciatica.
Did I forget to mention that I'm plagued by murphy's law. If I'm running late, I'll catch every single red light. If I need something, you better believe I'll have to look for it for an hour because it's not where I KNOW I put it. Praying stopped working a long time ago, don't bother asking him for anything, even to guide you, you won't be answered (there probably isn't a God anyway, who would allow the world to get this bad?)
So basically, if I don't have excruciating pain, have had 4-6 hours of sleep and get to work on time, I've had a great day.
I can't believe I haven't slit my wrists yet, I really believe the only thing stopping me is the fear of God. | |
But how about if we change it so it doesn´t suck anymore???? If everybody who killed himself and who wants to kill himself/herself did something to change this world instead – it would be much much better already. Let´s unite and do something instead of committing suicide.
search on google for: EQUAL MONEY ORGANIZATION and DESTENI GROUP... and you will find help and practical solutions… you will also find me there on the forum under Greg and GregWiater
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