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Fucking life... I shouldn't hate it but I do

Posted by lola at October 17, 2010
Tags: Attitude  Failure  2010 October

I think I'm a little dead inside
I was married to a man and I left him for a woman, 10 years later I feel like I am not a lesbian anymore I feel trap. Hate my job so much I got everything I could possibly get out of it, and I am afraid of moving on. I know I want children but now I don't know what to do. I miss my family but I still hate them.
My fucking life sucks!

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Comments:
By anonymous at 20,Mar,11 04:03

well, being from the other side of that story. I am a lesbian who was in a 10 year relationship with a woman who left her marriage for me. I helped raise her four ungrateful children whom seem to think that the world owes them a living and decided that at the age of 15 that they could pop out a couple of children and call it good. Now don't get me wrong, i love my grandson dearly and listen to him say everytime i see him, that he wants to live with me. remember these are no blood kin of mine and him living with me would be damn near impossible due to that fact. I'm just the evil stepmom that ruined their lives by coming into it and taking over where their dead beat dad left off. I now live in the "mantefactured home" (trailer) in the back yard of my ex's parents property. Ok how's that for being fucked up? I have a job, but only make enough to pay some of the bills. I have to rob from peter to pay paul so to speak, and on top of that i have no children of my own to take care of me when i can no longer do for myself. I have several health problems and part of a left lung. I live in Texas (as if it's not bad enough) and i'm a counselor for ex offenders who, all the time,are crying about how horrible their lives are. They have it good. Now my ex has taken in several kids that thought that their lives were horrible and she decided one day to tell me that the fucking faggot that came to stay with us, was now her best friend. What happened to us? She always said that she wanted to be the "cool mom" and now that i'm gone she's gets all of them at her house because she provides them with marijuana and booze, and to top it all off, her parent's give her everything. She's gotten new cars with no monthly payments and doesn't have to pay for insurance.(provided for). He pays her monthly bills and she gets an annutity for over $1000.00 a month for free. No taxes there. Also she gets food stamps from the government and free medicaid for the kids. While I have a car note, monthly insurance, 2 loans to pay back( oh took those out so she could take the kids to New Orleans for Mechacon, did I get invited? hell no. I had to work)not to mention paying out of pocket for my meds to survive on. At least the company i work for has insurance but i have that coming out of my check as well. we broke up just before Christmas(Merry Christmas to me)and all i got was a laptop out of the whole deal. But what made it so bad was when i did make the move i had to go behind her nasty ass kids and clean up the house so it was livable. I was lucky enough to get a couple of hours of work out of her so that it wasn't so overwhelming to me, but she's proud of me( her words not mine) I'm still cleaning and fixing up the place. Now her oldest girl has moved in with me and her and her husband fight alll the frickin time. They leave a mess behind them and expect me to have some sympathy for their plight. yeah right. They don't want to pay bills and expect me to provide food for them. Screw that. If I sound a bit put out or sarcastic well, yes I am.
By anonymous at 15,Jun,11 17:12

what the fuck has being a counsellor for ex-offenders got to do with your life. They ain't got it easy you mug! You're a Typical whinging Yank...Fuck off.
By anonymous at 24,Mar,12 06:18

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