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On the Edge...

Posted by anonymous at September 28, 2010
Tags: Failure  Health  2010 September

ok here it goes i found this blog for the obvious reason that i don't feel complete either not even close.
I live in a town that has no jobs people all over are scared and often feel alone because of no connection to a good resource for jobs or any one that does not suffer from deep apathy about themselves and there lives and the direction of their life.
with the government running a muck and the elite of this world planning things that aren't in our best interest, it has to be very difficult for anyone to see any hope in this world. because of this everyone hides in their own world feeling desperate and alone.
ever science i was a young child i have had it rough i started out with asthma attacks nearly every week my folks would have to carry me to the doc to get a shot, to stop the attack ok if that wasn't bad enough when i was 2 years old i began to have seizures for seemingly no reason at all It wasn't until my father started to do research on this that he was able to come up with any answers i was unable to get any help other than a shot every time it happened for a couple of years i was unable to get help for quite some time.
you have to understand this was the sixties they didn't have much scientific data on this at that time.
when we finally found out what it was that was effecting me i was 4 years old.
after years of testing and never finding any thing they finally found i had Epilepsy. now get this there answer was to give a 4 year old shots of phenobarbital What! a highly potent and dangerous drug for that time.
latter on when i turned 16 the seizures stopped. AL at once after taking Ritalin and others. they stopped ok after a time i realized something was different and i was depressed most of the time. just couldn't get a handle on things. anyway after test were done to determine my mental health it was discovered that i had an unusually high IQ, close to 150 149.7 was the # passed now on top of this i was diagnosed with ADHD and Clinical Depression this was around age 17 year of age.
now here i am At 49 I should have been a success at life but instead i find myself unable to keep work due to distractions in my life and failures to complete tasks as you can see i'm a bright guy but my intelligence is always at war with my disability's and here is another thing i tried to get Disability help from the gov and have been denied 3 times because they don't acknowledge me as disabled
so what good is being smart if you cant stay focused on things.
I never keep a job long because of this. though i never give up either.
here's the point we all have good reasons for feeling the way we do the problem lies in connection with understanding about ourselves and why our lives went the way they did.
after doing a lot of footwork on my own I discovered that the Meds I took as a child caused a lot of the problems i have faced throughout my life.
the problem is how do you prove it who do you blame?.
Regards: Musician/ Poet/ Writer/ Tiered...


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