This summer I went on Army training for 10 weeks. It was a completely miserable and stressful environment. I lived in a tent with 6 other guys with a locker that I couldn't put anything in, because of inspection, and slept on a cot in a sleeping bag. In the field, was even more miserable. We navigated harsh terrain in a sleep deprived state during training and there were so many mosquitoes I lost count of my mosquito bites.
The last week each of us had to do a patrol recce. I was completely unlucky, my pacer lied to be, my navigator wrote on the back of my orders which completely screwed me up and I had harshest instructors for evaluation.
I had constantly been keeping my eye on the prize the entire time. I was building my hopes on passing my training and getting my dream job or position in HQ which was guaranteed if I could get through. After failing twice, I crashed so hard I felt as if I was nothing but rubble. I went suicidal which sparked a huge paper trail. I
When I got back I found the commander of the base had been sending nasty emails to my superiors about how I "lied" and used the medical system to get out of the field. This has completely marred my personnel file and I have no hope of getting that dream position and I have to retake the entire course all over again.
Now I am back in my horrible existence of being 24 living at home with parents, unable to find a job and this past tormenting me every day and night. Because of this ongoing experience I find my self incapable of hoping anymore.
Not a day goes by that I don't think life sucks.