LIFE SUCKS

why god why?........

my name is Lawrece i am 18 years old, i'm from Holland and my life sucks

WHY? :

i have : no people who care about me (only people who pretend to care)
no intimacy with anyone
a constant feeling of emtiness,uselessness and pain
talent, but nobody cares or notices (or want to notice)
no real friends
nobody i know that knows how i feel
nobody
a verry bad financial situation
no reason to keep on living
nobody to love AND nobody truely likes and/or loves me
been 3.5 months in rehab
failed a grade.

god, why do i still beleive in you? why do you let me suffer so long?
if i have no real friends and people who love me, why do i keep going on?
everyone finds their true love eventually, why not me? what makes me so different that people dislike (almost hate me) i dont misbehave, i'm not rude, i'm allways friendly and helpfull , i'm just being me, whats wrong with that?
what did i do that you hate me so bad? are you a racist? why did you grant me life when it sucks? all i ask for is some close friends that DO call me, spent time with me, or maybe a girlfriend? i'm 18 and my life has sucked ever since.
if it goes on like this, and if i will have to keep going on, lonely, empty and depressed, please let me know. quit giving me false hopes and dreams.

if it goes on like this, will you please just let me go?

there is only one way to ease the pain and coldness for are alcolholic drinks and marijuana (especially marijuana). and people tell me its bad, why? because it makes me feel happy? how hippocrite are you guys!!?!?!

i dont give a fuck, i am a human being! and i have the right to feel happy! i dont spend any effort anymore on trying to socialize because it fails!
so life, fuck you, you, the world and everyone on it!