What can I say? I dont ever feel happiness. I used to be real happy. It was all cause i liked this girl but she hates me, broke my heart, doesnt care. I have no friends, Im an alcoholic, Im a 25 year old man who lives in a 1 bd apartment on a disabiltiy cheque cause i have some bullshit disease a shrink pulled out of theyre ass (TOO MUCH DOPE IN HIGH SCHOOL) I fight every day to be happy, been through more hell than I can explain and I get nowhere. People got all the answers and criticism for me, Im happiest when im alone cause i dont gotta hear anyones shit, and by happy i mean numb sitting here dreaming of shit thats all empty and crap. Im planning to go to school in January, Mainly cause i gotta do something other than sit on my ass, I aint excited and ill more than likely just end up with a debt and some degree that gets me nowhere! I never have sex, I get treated like shit no matter what I do, people are shallow, its all about how you look and talk that causes people to treat you the way they do, every job Ive worked since I was 16 has been shit, my family is always down on me, my greatest joy is eating crap from the supermarket, a deli sandwich or piece of chicken, I suffer, I suffer more and all I get for it is people tellin me to buck up and get over it, people who have good lives nd dont understand shit, I think the happiest Ive ever been was doing drugs at a young age, beer and dope in high school bout as good as its been so far, what else can I bitch about? Ive been in psych wards, Ive been depressed, I fight with my family, im poor, I aint a badass who rides a harley davidson so girls dont like me, Im just some stupid guy kicking around. Even if i meet some girl I fall in love with which is what usually makes people believers, completes theyre lives and makes them truly happy, it probably wont work out for some reason and ill just be miserable my whole life. lots of poeple are unhappy until they die, it is true. LIFE SUCKS.