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does it all really happen for a reason?

Posted by anonymous at August 10, 2010
Tags: Attitude  2010 August

this is my first post i ran along this site because i typed "i hate my fucking life" in the google search bar and this is what popped up.since i was young my mother always loved me less from the other kids,i was more tan compared to my white siblings and also from her own insecurities of her nose,always made fun of mine...i never realy noticed mine and i mean some people made fun of me but i thought it went with me,but when your own mother makes you go to the doctors and say "my nose is broken can you pay for my nose job?" that really just traumatized me..than having my sister be beautiful and perfect hurt because to my mother i was always ugly and never cared about,i was mostly beaten realy..(sigh) eventualy i fell in love witha boy whom i loved for 6years..but he loved someone else and although i knew he was cheating i didnt have the confidence (thanks to my mom) to leave him so i accepted it and late at night layed in bed asking god why me..when i knew he was with her.eventualy he got engaged to her and depression fell over sis got married to a realy sexy wealthy young guy and looked beautiful on her wedding day..jealousy killed me.iv worked at a pizza place for six years and saved up 20,000 dollars only to have my parents take the money..(sigh) it hurts because all i ever wanted was to be loved and when your own mother tells you she doesnt care it impacts your whole makes you think if your own parents dont love you..who will? is there really a god? do things really happen for a reason?? i highly doubt just waiting to die i cant even look in the mirror suffering a depresion and i feel like soon i will make my own journey maybe run away some where far.


Similar Entries:
endless downward spiral.... May 9, 2010
A sad lonely life..... March 27, 2012
so lonely  February 22, 2012
God, if your there, please help me find my way May 21, 2011
i hate my self  July 3, 2010

New Comment

By anonymous at 24,Aug,10 10:48

Dont be negative..Share your probs with some1 whom you really respect or trust. Hug him/her. If you dont have anyone to share it with,

my yahoo :
By D at 05,Sep,10 06:30

It's easy for someone, who has a live that seems to be going their way, to say "don't be negative". You people are the ones I stay away from.

By anonymous at 24,Aug,10 23:49

I know family runs deep for a lot of people.... but these people need to fuck off and you need to get as far away as you can. Fuck them. Be dead to them if that's what they threaten (and I can tell already they will).

They can all be as pretty as they want, but they'll never be half the person you already are. People who treat others like this seem well off, but they're not, usually because they meet other ugly people like themselves.

By anonymous at 26,Aug,10 03:05

I feel for you. My parents treated me badly finally I moved out moved across the state and worked my way up the ladder to a job I like. I don't speak to my parents and I am still working on my self esteem but I am in a much better place without them. Figure out what you really want and go for it and don't let anyone get in your way.

By anonymous at 27,Aug,10 17:50

Wow! Life really does suck sometimes. You're not alone. Parents are perfect- some far from it. You are worth more than that. Don't stay around people that don't deserve your love and respect. I know someone that does love you- God. You are His child and He loves you more than you can imagine. He knows where you are and what you're going through. Pray to Him in sincerity and belief that He will answer you. He will answer you. Pray to Him for comfort and peace and guidance and He will give it to you. Hang in there. It can't rain forever. The sun will come out. Keep trying your best.

New Comment