I Really Loathe myself and i have done for many years. i hate living and everyday just got worse and worse not to mention i have been in depression and havnt worked EVER! i have been suicidal aswell many times but always failed,and i basically think it was becuse of myself i really disliked people alot and thought of them as FUCKING CUNTS! they treated me like shit! which effected my whole life... who gives a crap if it happened in the past? it still effected me really badly to which i kept to myself. I then went around not Caring about anything and DOING AS I PLEASED!,My family never cared about me they just left me as that and i just became worse and now we have all parted sepreate ways becuse of ME! and official reasons. i really dont think i have much to live for anymore i can sence my life is going to get even worse! and double worse! my Dads dead mabey i should join him? im worse than him.... and i even know it i doubt my family would give 2 shits if i were gone they hate me, and i dont blame them! ive been spoiled rotten by other family members which has screwed up my mind... thinking I can do anything i want! when i cant... and now i know that.... i am in the wrong! my preferences in life are all FUCKED UP! and if i didnt exist anymore i think i would be free.. i wish i could understand but i never will everythings a dream to me.