welp, here i am again.. what can i say. i'm not surprised. Because i fuck up EVERY little good thing i have going for me. my life is total shit.
I hate everything how I look the list is so long, i'm too skinny, acne/bacne, im hairy, crooked teeth, huge nose, too fucking tall, small hips, small ass, small boobs- and after all that every other guy that liked me i have pushed away because of my trust issues. My bf im with now, idk how he's with me still, after all the times i've fucked up. I seriously make him feel horrible and idk what i can do to make him not feel these emotions. I've had depression ever since i was in first grade, it's only gotten worse. god, why i dont even know who i am, all i know is that im an ugly fucking slow person who can't even make good grades no matter how fucking hard i try. My bf is the best thing that ever happened to me and im scared that im gonna lose him soon, ive said sorry soooo many times, ive fucked it up soo many times. He's gonna come to realize that i'm pathetic and get tired of my bs. that's when i'll be sent over the edge, i've always had suicidal thoughts just never made them come to life. I wish i didn't fucking exist!! so that the people i love wouldn't have to suffer through my existence. I wish I was some people girl in some small town, with a mom and dad, and a real home. My parents dumped me when i was 6 weeks not that i can blame them, i am pretty fucking worthless. I don't have 1 single thing going for me, i'm not good at anything and idk where i belong in this world. I drive myself insane thinking and thinking of all my mistakes. I've pushed away the "friends" i had before and got a new group, they don't invite me anywhere, i wouldn't either. Kill me now, i'm too much of a coward to.