As I said, everyone has a story. I haven't always had the best of luck period, and it irritates me that I have to work harder then some for everything. I am now 32 years old and still renting, I have never been married or have any kids. I have yet to have any dream come true. I feel like life forgot about me. For the last 5 years I spent my life with a man who had money but who was a junkie, alcoholic and who had a gambling problem and who only cared about himself. He put me down a lot. I also had a good income but was laid off for months in the end. When I was with him I lived 2800 miles from any family and friends, then a couple of years ago he moves me back "home" which was his intent on getting rid of me, which I didn't know at the time. However, he up and left me to pay for everything. I then had to file for bankruptcy. Which was ok but I couldn't even pay for living expenses and most times had to sell things to pay the bills. Forget trying to find a better job, my province has one of the highest unemployment rates in Canada.
Then my best friend who I was in love with ended up dying in his sleep from heart failure at 39 years of age. I was devastated and dealt with the pain and grief on my own for months. I started drinking to self medicate. Eventually I ended up on antidepressants, which wouldn't be my first time. Because of the antidepressants I then gained 25 lbs in a year!
Oh I also used my RRSP to live on and upgrade some courses because I had been trying to get into a health related field program at college for the last 3 years. I have been on a wait list and finally got accepted. Now that I got accepted I can't get a student loan even though I didn't include my old student loan in my bankruptcy and they assured me before I filed that it wouldn't be a problem. BUT IT IS!!! So now here I sit 2 months away from starting school and don't know how I am going to be able to go. I can't even better myself. I recently moved from a lovely 3 bedroom, quiet country like house into a 1 bedroom basement apartment in someones house and I can hear everything upstairs.
I also have a few health problems that get in the way, like back problem (scoliosis), IBS and interstitial cystitis, acid reflux and a fibroid in my uterus, anxiety and depression. Which I think mostly all would disappear, if I could get somewhere and stop stressing with things. I don't have any friends and don't have a close relationship with my parents or sister. I wish I did, but my parents and sister have never been supportive of anything I did.
My new boyfriend is great except for the fact we haven't really had sex yet because of his lack of an erection. He is 34 and we been together for a year now. So with that and my fibroid and my age and lack of money, the chances of us ever having kids is slim. So what is my PURPOSE? I have been trying to be positive despite it all.
In the past couple years I have lost a lot and and almost been homeless. I went from feeling pretty good and confident to feeling so small. I know there are people worse off then me, thats all I got to go on, to keep on keeping on. | |
I read through your post and decided to consult my tarot deck. Obviously, the information I relay to you is purely theoretical: Your PAST card chosen: Opposition (Seven of Swords) meaning that hostil forces may be working against you. Quarrels, curses, and difficulties are found with this card. Which seems to me, very well represented from what you wrote in your post. Your PRESENT card: Dagon, Prince of Wands: represents fears and obsticles. It is a psychological card of projecting fear into your present and your future, based on past experiences. The images, thoughts and feelings that you have repressed over time cause inner disturbances that are becoming overwhelming. As a result, you are now experiencing negative blocks within your personality, causing fear and anxiety. To remedy this, you need to go through a purging process whereby deep memories are released. This is a time when you need to go deep into your soul and dredge up your anxieties, fears, psychic blocks and personality disturbances, thus instilling a change. The change may be unpredictable, unconventional, or startling. Your FUTURE card: The Moon- the moon again speaks of intuition, dreams and the subconsciousness. It is a very strong card in the Tarot deck and speaks of a more psychic and intuitive phase than usual, so it will be important for you to trust your instincts and your impressions, even if you don't know where they are coming from. Also, not that you need to be mistrusting, but it will be helpful for you to realize that when this card appears, it's possible that all is not what it seems. If you feel you can't trust someone, then you probably can't. Go with your gut. If you are waiting on an answer from someone, it may, unfortunately, take longer than you would like for it to. Try to stay patient.
I can only say that from what the cards are telling me about you, it sounds as though they are encouraging you to do some soul searching. Perhaps talking with a trusted friend or therapist- getting things off your chest and clearing your mind.
Hopefully, things will change in a postitive direction for you.
Cursed
Cursed
Cursed
one cursed person to another,
we got cursed for being bad people,
acting like a shit on here will just make it worse not better,
take care now
:)
HERE'S WHAT I THINK:
1. All of you cowards who post things without revealing who you are: YOU SUCK. PERIOD.
2. You think that hiding behind "ANONYMOUS" keeps people from knowing who you are- think again. Everything you post on the internet is being kept. Stored away. This site knows your email address and your computer id number. And you could easily be tracked down by any computer hack.
3. I have never made a mean, spiteful, malicious comment to anyone's post- unlike some of you...
4. If I want to post my advice to someone- what business is it too you- I am not hurting anyone's feelings- unlike some of you-
5. I got all day bud. I am working- whittling away my hours on this site, I am bored to tears. Most of your comments (the ones that are meant to be nasty) BORE ME TO TEARS!!!!!!
6. Lastly, if anyone has a problem with me: here's my email address: jennylovesladybug@gmail.com
7. Take that you f-ing pussies- C'mon, make my day! Send me an email so we can have a one on one conversation!!! I DARE YOU!
PUSSIES- ALL OF YOU MEAN SHITS! COME ON! BRING IT!
I will be sitting here waiting- to hear from one of you- but none of you have the BALLS!
Ha!
Cursed
They win.
I'm outta here-
Cursed
2. We hide behind the word "anonymous" while you hide behind the name "cursed"
3. You haven't made malicious comments toward others, but you feed them your stupid horoscope bullshit, giving these sad fucks false hope.
4. No one's scared of having a 1 on 1 conversation with a little 40 yr old hippie horoscope virgin that got her tubes tied at the age of 10 and couldn't ever find true love, so she spends her time on "www.lifesucksbigtime.com" "helping" people that have problems worse than her.
You just make space for it.
Two suicide methods are the least painless: A shotgun to the head; very efective, the shotgun pellets will destroy the parts of your brain that make you concious and allow you to feel pain. So at most a shotgun will have 0.3-0.4 seconds of pain as the shotgun pellets penetrates through your skull.
You can also consider a heroin or morphine overdose. You die an a state of euphoric bliss as your respiratory system slowly shuts down.
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