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Life is so shitty I f*cked up bad.

Posted by anonymous at September 22, 2009
Tags: Drinking  Family  Loneliness  Money  Relationship  September 2009

So I'm 21. I got married when I was 18 because I thought he was the one... turns out he wasn't. Legally I'm still divorced 4 yrs later I don't have the money to divorce him and he wont pay for anything.

He put me in so much debt I had to file for bankruptcy. Since then I had a year relationship with someone else and it ended with him beating me up.

I don't know who I am... what I'm doing where to go I'm lost and a lone and I don't want to talk to anyone about it. I get so drunk almost every night I black out. I smoke weed and want to try other things... anything that will let me escape this shitty life.

I hate my job, I hate all the money I've wasted and nothing to show for it. I only have a few close friends who seem to have worse problems then me so I have no1 to talk to.

I just recently starting seeing someone new and he is so amazing and treats me so well, it kind of freaks me out. Maybe because I'm not use to having someone treat me good. I'm pushing him away though like I do with everyone.

I just want to die.


Similar Entries:
My Life Sucks.... because September 15, 2010
Love prospers for those who don\'t know what it is. April 4, 2012
untitled story December 30, 2011
Mess of a Life May 28, 2012
Loneliness May 28, 2012

New Comment

By anonymous at 10,Nov,09 00:02

i feel for you i have been in your shoes and walked many miles in them and things will never gett better until u let go of all your past and start over try to find small postive things in or around your life. Drugs and alchool are great until your sobber then what felt like shit now feels like a pile of shit and then you wander should life really go on. i have been blessed i am 32 and i found god when i was 13 most of my life it seemed like i only went to him when i was in troubble, hurt or just plane lost i have four wonderfull young boys there mom we were 2gether 4 12yrs and married for 8.5 yrs and i come home 2 mo ago and she says i dont love u anymore i am leaving she left me and my 4 kids i found out she found some one else on face book the first week i took around 180 ea methadone and drank to hide the pain my heart was feeling but once i asked god to take away all this slowly each day got better and then things got great then 1 day shit feel aprt but i picked my self up and here i am 2day raising my kids on my own working 40 hrs a week a shit load of debt no child support and belive it or not my life is actually better now kind of weird but it is i wish u the best in life and hang on to what u got dont push him away and i say 1 thing b4 i ago in ur life time u probally wont have anymore than a handfull of friends in ur life and i mean true friends those that r there to give u there shirt of there back in a blizzard.........
By anonymous at 11,Jan,11 22:06

god had nothing to do with it, it was you who helped yourself by believing in your own power. god is just a decoy!
By anonymous at 23,Mar,12 03:58

Dude, its another person's belief. How can you even say that the very being that helped this person through the worst times in his life is fake?

I'm not Christian, but I would not try to impose on someone's personal belief, especially if it has given them strength to endure ordeals and help him raise his four wonderful boys.

By anonymous at 24,May,10 14:09

I have the same problum almost exactly.Mine rooted from potpartum depretion.And a shitty ex who has left an emotional mark on me so bad that im pushing my new bf who is the father of my child away.But you have to keep trying you have to no matter what.And if this new guy means so much to you,you have to always talk to him about how your feeling and whats going on and if he loves you he will listen.

By anonymous at 22,Jul,10 21:28

You think that it sucks because you attract shitty boyfriends jeez I would trade places with you in a heartbeat. Try being in a wheelchair the rest of your life in pain every day wearing a diaper because you pee your pants all the time. I wouldnt mind the chair or even the diaper but the pain everyday sucks worse than any crappy spouse every would. But you know what I still enjoy life. Life is a great gift to explore and enjoy. Try surrounding yourself with ONLY positive people. Negative people will only attract more negativity and bring you down. Good Luck and Peace

By anonymous at 28,Jul,10 14:52

i think everyone here is full of shit
By anonymous at 18,May,11 07:53

hey and what about you? is you mum fullof shit too?

By anonymous at 21,Aug,10 09:55

I am 52 years old, and can honestly say my life sucked for 30
years because my wife was so shitty. But now, all my so called friends have turned on me because I refuse to ingage
in the same shitty behavior they do. For instance I defended
a much weaker lonely person and have since been demonized
by many who disliked this person. So get used to it, forget about it and move on, most people are Godless miserable assholes.

By anonymous at 13,Nov,10 13:02

you are all ungrateful assholes.

By at 12,Jan,11 16:16

Very nice site!

By at 20,Feb,11 01:16

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By anonymous at 22,Mar,11 20:39

Try meditation instead of drugs it is a natural way to escape from life without damaging your body and mental health.

When life beats you up for a long enough time your entire output becomes negative even on the good things. You need to learn how to simply enjoy life's ride even though it's hard. It's the NOW moment, change things you have the power to make your life happier.

"Bad things happen to good people to make them stronger"
-Life is always going to test us and our resolve
By anonymous at 12,Mar,12 02:07

Thanks for the post, as it has been a goal to use meditation that way!

By anonymous at 28,May,11 00:17

If you stare at the sun it will blind you but you need it to survive.Don't Stare at life to hard it will blind you but you need it to survive.Be yourself or something close to it and you will survive,but do you want more is the real question? Try this who are you? and then ask who the fuck am i to tell you anything?

By at 12,Jun,11 23:27

Wow, that’s a really clever way of tihkning about it!

By anonymous at 25,Jul,11 15:13

Can you join AA or another support group?
It may really help!! Or maybe you've done this already?
You'd save A LOT of money and could be more independent then!! And you could meet people who could maybe help you sort out your life and live it in a better way?

Hopefully you've learnt from your experiences - and can now maybe help others who have gone through ismilar things? A LOT of people have had troubles with relationships and money... Many have needed help and found it through books, counselling or coaching, support groups etc.

Hope things have improved by now anyway!!

By anonymous at 15,Aug,11 16:09

My name is Robert I got married when I was 18 Then 7 years later she ran off with my so called best friend.We where seperated for 3 yrs.Then we got a divorce 3 yrs.later.Ever since then My life has been crappy.Am on disability cuase of health issues and chronic deppression.I pay bills then am broke.Car is tore up and cann't afford to get it fixed or get another one.Want a girlfriend.But no one will get with me or even talk to me And if they do they come up with excuses or there really rude and tell me go on you fat ugly mother f*****.Am so tired of being by myself and being alone.Am not that fat.Am ugly But not that ugly.Am picky though.Don't like fat chicks no offence.Like thin girls.I have been by self for the past 9 years since my wife left me.And haven't been in any relationships then.Need money to fix my house and to get another car but cann't afford it cuase what little money i get goes on bills.Reaaly need to when at least $175,000.00 Dollars or someone needs to give it to me but I know neither will ever happen.Am so very tired of being single and broke and all of the time haveing to stay home!!!!!!!!!!!!!
By anonymous at 07,Oct,11 14:24


By anonymous at 28,Aug,11 21:20

handle your wish

By anonymous at 10,Sep,11 19:51

I hope your new boyfriend beats your ass........whiny fat bitch!!!!!
By anonymous at 14,Apr,12 18:11


By anonymous at 21,Oct,11 19:41

Wanna try somethin new drop some acid see if that dont spice up your life that shit will open your mind man but dont do it to much cause you might get stuck in a perma trip and thats just no good

By anonymous at 14,Apr,12 18:11

5years and can divorce for free :)

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By anonymous at 15,Oct,16 21:31

Thank you for being brave enough to share your story. It sounds like you have been hurting for a while. I hear the disappointment in your story about finding out that he isnít what you hoped he would be and how betrayed you feel by his actions that left you in so much debt. It must have been even more disappointing to try again with someone new and have that end in violence. You sound lonely and stuck. It must be scary to try dating again and wonder if this new relationship will end like the last two, but I admire your ability to try again. I think you are incredibly resilient to have gone through all that and keep going, even when you feel like giving up.

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