So I feel as though I need to vent.
Im 18, about to sit my final exams before uni. When i look back on my childhood i remeber almost nothing. I moved schools twice and carried none of my freinds over (despite only moving across the road in one instance) i feel as thiugh its oartly my fault. I have allways thought of myself as a loner. But im not really. I had se great freinds. They were nice. But immature, and i felt as though i couldnt connect properly.
I regret not making the most of my time.
I had one friend, who i grew to love. He was the coolest nicest guy i had ever met. Everyone seemed to like him. But over time ingrew to hate him. I dont know wether it was jealousy or confusion or what, he seemed to be so happy and perfect. Even when i went over to his house. He was a saint.
It seemed so undfair at the time, it drove me inasne, stil does. I became obsessed with finding a flaw. But i couldnt. I felt as though i had to prove that he wasnt happy.
He must of thought i was weird (quite rightly i guess) he cut me off after i moved schools. This was the days of facebook and msn, so really no excuses. It was a while ago now. I still feel regected though. I never told him how i felt. I never just asked. I never just sat down.
He seems so happy now, i felt like he was the freind that i had allways wanted, but inguess he didnt feel the same way. He had enough attention.
I dont know if i should hate him or love him.
It sounds so pathetic. | |
It was really hard to understand your post. Not sure but my advice would be to move on. Don't live your life around someone else.
Good luck-
Cursed
New Comment