| | Posted by Ugh123 at April 19, 2012 |
Every day I wake up feels like another day of punishment. It has felt this way for lately and for a while - whether I thought of it that way or not. Where do I even begin...
Ok so, before the economy totally tanked I was very successful in my career. I was starting to pay off my student loans and any debt that I had from working 2 crappy jobs and putting myself through school full time. I had respect, my own office, and loved what I was doing. Then it got messed up (long story). I lost my studio office, most of my business, got into debt trying to save it, got stressed out, gained like 50-60lbs from being stressed out, etc etc.
Then I had to start doing physical labor - painting murals and rich peoples homes to make money - making a lot less than i was used to and pulling 12 hour days breathing in toxic paint etc. I was always dirty, felt unattractive and generally felt tired like I was dying every day. Eventually I burned myself out completely and hurt my back.
I was unable to work from Nov.2011 to now April 2012. I have run through any savings I had. I had to get on welfare, food stamps and other degrading programs. I got even fatter. I was a very proud person and now I feel like a slug. I am also filing for bankruptcy. I have about $300 to my name and then rent is due again soon... I wont have enough.
My back is sort of better. I quit smoking and I lost 30 lbs so far with a lot more weight left to lose. I need to be on antidepressan... |
| | Posted by LifeCanSuck at April 19, 2012 |
Last year, I developed sudden onset binocular diplopia (double vision). Got an MRI and saw a big white mass behind my right eye. For a few days, I thought I had a brain tumor and would die in a few months. Turns out it was nothing, and my vision returned to normal on its own. Fast forward to today, I risked all my money on a business and so far it's not working out. Don't know how much longer I can hang on before creditors start banging down my door. I'm on the brink of losing everything, 150k in debt and nothing to show for it. Here's the thing - I wouldn't be in this situation if I had had a brain tumor. Now I wish that I did have a tumor. At least then I could have died with dignity. I would have taken than few thousand dollars I had and traveled with my family. Now I'm totally fucked. If my business doesn't improve I will have to declare bankrupcy. That wouldn't be so bad, but I don't even have money to pay for gas, utilities, etc., and no job prospects either. |
| | Posted by grey at April 16, 2012 |
Im 23 years old and working a dead end security job,living pay check to pay check.My parents everyday tells me how ashamed their feel when somebody ask about me.I was never smart or had any good grades, dont matter how hard I study Ill fail.My mom tells how all her friend family member kids are so bright,smart, going to school,help pay the bills,and having nice materialistic things.Im in serious debt and cant get a bank account because of this.All my so call friends have all the money in the world, makes fun of me because of my 91 Honda with no AC in it .Everybody I know living life to fullest or the fast life.They party and have fun while my broke ass stay home feeling despress.I ignore my ex gf or any females because I feel dont deserve her or them.Im to broke or stupid to change anything.I feel like to clock is against me.It dont matter what I do I still fail at it,It could be something illegal and still no money coming in.I been kind and nice and dont get it and return.I dodge girls im to broke to afford dates and to embarrass to drive my car.I cant keep a long term of relationship becsusr of my failures or what she might think of me not doing noghting for my self.I wanna accomplish goals and my dream I feel like im curse and have bad luck,cause what ever I do I always hit an road block.Im gonna say goodbye to all my so call friends and family members who dont really give a fuck about me.Im gonna say good bye to their happy fun lifestyles which I cant live.Im gonna say good bye to my parent out rages expections,and to my love life that I also never experience.Because im give up. |
| | Posted by OnlyGoingDown at April 16, 2012 |
I know they say you don't really know what tomorrow might bring, but what if you can analyze the variables relatively reasonably? What if computers everywhere do that for you regardless of "what tomorrow might bring." I'm getting older and I've never had a truly good job. I had a decent job at one point that offered a lot of freedom, but didn't even pay me enough to afford my own apartment. 't one point, I was in grad school for a really great career, but something horrible happened to me that ended my career path. Now all the training that I have in that field is of no use because nothing matters unless one is licensed in doing those actual things. The skills really don't apply elsewhere. But when I was pursuing the career, I ran myself into massive debt because I knew I could pay it off in time when I finally started my career. Now, it's like I've not only run up debt, but wasted countless years in school as well on skills that nobody really wants. My credit rating is shot and I've officially tapped out of money. I'm way overeducated but can't get a job doing virtually anything other than waiting tables. I apply to jobs all the time that seem like they should be begging people to fill them because they're so bad, only to find out 300 people are being considered for the same job with lower expectations; a humiliating thought considering the often horrid working conditions and barely subsistence wages. And, literally, I can see no way this will ever change in ... |
| | Posted by Daniel at April 16, 2012 |
Hello, my name is Daniel and my life is a big fat pile of crap. I find myself living paycheck to paycheck with so many bills to pay and three different sources of low-income. I get a very small paycheck from two of my really part-time jobs every other week, and I get a decent check from the government to save my ass from being eaten alive. It's really frustrating trying to manage three different incomes and the only reason I get the last check is because I broke my neck 5 months ago.
Which brings me to the next topic--I broke (yes, BROKE) my neck december of 2011 and life has been hard since. I am lucky to be alive and not paralyzed; however, sometimes I just wish I was lucky enough to not break it in the first place. Why? because I'm not nearly as fit as I was before, my dreams of being a professional performing artist have gone down the drain, everybody forgot about me and moved on while I was out of commission and recovering alone at my house for 3 months, and people look at my surgical scars like I'm a freak or they treat me like I'm fragile.
Speaking of scars.. I have been breaking out a lot in the past year and almost every pimple that I got left a scar. Can you imagine how many I have on my face now? Most of them are jawline and cheek acne, but lately I've been breaking out on my forehead as well. Not fun. I've been taking this problem very seriously for the past 3 months and made some progress, but now it is time for me to rid my face of these h... |
| | Posted by bigman at April 14, 2012 |
got fired from a shit job only paid 10 an hour i am 28 years old live at home no car no money never been in a relationship have no job skills or any real education mostly everyone i meet have only negative things to say about me don't have any close friends never have any luck always get the shit end of everthing only growing older watching the rest of the world live a happy life while i sit back as i suffer a slow death have been in and out of jail no one will hire me if i had one wish it would be for the ground to open up and the world to fall in it |
| | Posted by anonymous at April 12, 2012 |
Both my husband and I are unemployed. Both looking for work,he has a terminal illness and we have no insurance. No money to pay the bills, went to social services for the 1st time, they said sell the house, we don't even own it yet. Will be out on the street soon.Bills keep coming, and no money.
He was let go after 21 yrs., and his employer gave him NO Severance pay. Said they only have 14 million in the bank, and cannot afford to give him and the other person a severance package.
Both have education and skills. I have applied at so many jobs, told overqualified or underqualified.
I feel so defeated. I just want to give up. Friends say it will be ok, yhea, for them, they have jobs, bank accounts, insurnace all the things we used to have.
The reason we have no money is because he had to pay for his 2 kids from a previous marriage, and we were not able to save as much as we wanted to.
I hate everything right now.
A friend of mine on fb had the nerve to complain about her high paying job, and she has a high school diploma! Then she says her worst problem is deciding to cancel Netflix or not.....WTH???
Glad I found this site. Thank you for lettimg me type, regardless if it gets on the site or not.
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| | Posted by anonymous at April 12, 2012 |
That black dog is back again. I can feel its presence and sense its low growls filling my head, and all because I allow it. I let it come close because I know that it is part of me. That mutt has been with me since early high school.
I am 40 now and still on a low income job. Wife pestering me to get more money, my kids are relying on me to get them good education and support and every day i find it hard to support myself in this struggle.
The thought of eternal rest is always lingering and knowing that option is always there is somewhat comforting.
I am miserable and stuck in this place where I cannot just vanish and hurt those i love deeply. |
| | Posted by eeyore at April 11, 2012 |
I am usually optimistic. I do a lot to help others - donations, volunteer etc. I feel like, oh I don't know...I just feel horrible. My daughter was born with dyspraxia - not too bad of an issue..but difficult at times none the less. Now my husband has brain cancer. We have insurance but of course it doesn't cover everything. Due to the high bills we have lost our restaurant of 10 years, and are now going to lose the house and car. I have less than $100 in the bank! I am soooo due some good luck! I always watch as other people have great things happen and I am envious and feel guilty for feeling this way. I know there are a lot of people with worse problems - how do the cope! I cry myself to sleep every night then spend every day pretending its all hunky dory for my kids sake. The good news is that my husband is still with me way passed the date the drs. gave. so I guess i do have a little bit of luck. Just wish I had a lot! thanks, for listening. I feel a bit better just knowing someone is. |
| | Posted by anonymous at April 11, 2012 |
I am 38yo, went to Ultrasound school when i was 34 graduated 35 couldn't find a job, everyone told me you have to get the Registration Licence -so i sat 1 year and Study --soo much $$$ on Rent/Living and good news finally i got my Licence not 1 but 2 different for Heart and General. Now TWO and 1/2 years passed i am still Looking for this Job, FL , NY or LA doesn't matter i just seem can not find that Job (that is available) Most people now require 3 years experience where will i get that Experience if i can't get that first job?
waisting 4-5 years of my life with $50,000 debts No Job, Living with Relatives ( My mother passed away long time ago) > here i am feel like in this Person who stack in this small Fishtank and world is just Living -Laughing-Going forward but all i do is swim in this Round Glass and there is No way out?...How much more should i Continue look for this Job? what and where should i go next? i am not 22 , or 32 yo to say -ok let me see what else i can to and study or change profession.
U have to know a Doctor or Cardiologist in order to get the job now days, its impossible to get on there doorsteps. and funny thing when i was in School Everyone bet that i will get the Job first , because i don't have a Family -> i have OK looks, i am Charismatic etc... But turn out to be i am NOTHING but this OLD bag , or maybe this Fragile Butterfly ...
I really couldn't believe or imagine how Cruel people are, No one wants to give you a Chance, No one cares -> but i just don't understand How people make it? what about Them -those people -who re hiring, there was Time when They were looking for a job, Someone HELP them right??? Someone give them a hand that they started..
No matter how much , how hard i try i just Can't find that Job.....I think Pretty soon i am going to be Homeless. And scary thing is No one can help me. |
| | Posted by bear at April 11, 2012 |
I have been hating life for quite a while. I was making $50k annually before 2004. The plant I worked at shut down. I had to settle for a job that paid approx. 30k annually after that. This past January I got laid off and I am getting $240.00 per week. I am almost 54 y/o and feel worthless and depressed. I can't stand not working. I wish God would take me. I'm of no use to anyone! |
| | Posted by anonymous at April 11, 2012 |
Im a 23 year old male working a dead end job makimg around 800 every two weeks. I dont really know where to start my life hasnt been easy by any means. My mother is addicted to meth and i found out when i was 11 years old. My father was a very hard workwr and tried everything he could think of to keep the family together but they devorced in 2009 a few months later the family house burnt down. In 2010 my father passed away in a atv accident while i was at work. He wasnt found until the next day. So now the house and land belong to me and my younger beother who doesnt have a drivers liscense or a highschool deploma ( droped out after the devorce ) he pretty much stays home and smokes weed all day and gets by off of 200 a month from a rwnt house we own
So ive been working and trying to pay taxes and lawyer cost. A few months ago i found out i have type one diabetes which has been life changing and expensive. To top it all off my girlfriend of four years is 8 weeks pregnant. Sometimes it seems like everything happens at once. Im very happy about the pregnancy and it has brought more meaning to my life. I just find myself wondering what kind of a life i will be able to provide my child when my life has been on such a downward spiral for what seems like forever. Oh yeah and my mom went to prison shortly afyer my father passed away. Shes back now and living with my brother. Shes steals from us to pay for her addiction and pretty much makes my life hell. Ive tried to get her perole officer to send her back but he doesnt give a shit .
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| | Posted by Tony Kickass at April 11, 2012 |
My nephew and i have been very close since my late mother died in 2010.....He was always at mine once every two days without fail for a brew, some free cigs and moaning about how hard his life was.....He did'nt work so i would buy him cigarettes, give him plenty of money and free takeouts to help him out as much as i could......We were pretty much inseperable for nearly two years and then he got a well payed job and i havent seen him for dust......He never visits me or calls me (not even a mother fucking text to say hello) NOTHING......He tells me that he'll come visit me soon but he hasnt been down for weeks and blames it on his job, BUT HE ONLY WORKS FOR 4 HOURS A DAY SO HOW THA FUCK CAN THAT BE??......He owed me £60 but would'nt pay (but said he would)......The prick makes about £250 a day but still nothing so i payed the cunt a visit and demanded my cash so he went to the bank and finally got my cash and came down......He said quote "i bet you need that money cos your broke" but did'nt offer to help me out at all......I have helped that little shit out on so many occasions and never asked for the money back but would he ever do the same for me?? FUCK NO.......He's no nephew of mine and when he does finally lose his job (as i suspect he will one day) i wont be here to bail the shitter out...... |
| | Posted by anonymous at April 11, 2012 |
I really don’t know what to think anymore. I’m 21 years old and I used to make an effort to be thankful for what I had, since hell, being poor in the U.S. is far better than being poor in a 3rd world country. Then my roommate’s parents suddenly decided to sell their house, at the beginning of the college quarter, and I was immediately forced to move out, even though I had paid rent on time each month (“No hard feelings, and all”). I was able to find a new apartment in time, but the deposit ate up the remainder of my savings, causing me to go through two months, during which I had no idea where I was going to get my next meal or how I was going to pay the rent. This was how I spent my Christmas.
Things are a lot better now, but it still annoys me to see people working a fraction as hard as I do seemingly getting all of the breaks in life. That sounds arrogant, but I have always been told by people that I am the hardest worker they know. I used to walk one hour to my part time job, work for five hours, and then walk another hour to get home, at 1 AM in the morning, while also balancing school. Meanwhile, I see students at prestigious universities drinking themselves into a stupor off of their parents’ beer money, and barely making it to class.
I go to a community college, despite graduating in the top 12% of my high school class, which makes me wonder why I didn’t simply drop out during my Freshman year to work at McDonald’s. During the times that I didn’... |
| | Posted by Sabrina at April 11, 2012 |
Hi I am 26 and have a daughter I am married... and I could really be the happiest person in the whole world. BUT no!!!! I feel Horrible, i really hate my life! I wouldn't be a life right now, IF I wouldn't of had my baby girl who keeps me from going on... No matter how depressed I feel. How worthless, how miserable I feel.
I see her and I still think there is a light... But for how long!
My husband is SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO much older than, when I married him I thought cool, I will be pampered! WRONG!!! he has been breaking every part of my being EVERY part of my soul, and his "Friends" just keep making my LIFE SOOO F*CKING miserable!! God! I hate them more than i hate myself! If I go to do groceries.. BEACAUSE SHOCKINGLY people do eat! and drink, and if I spend more than 150, they all ready called my Husband, and made this huge thing bout me spending money in the groceries..
Ok, if I go to the doctor! the same: why do u have to go to the DR??? I mean sorry I got sick, need medication?? Oh no U didn't!!!! well I need medication for the baby, need to call my husband assistant! and he of course decides if i can have extra money for the medication...
ok, i need underware cause mine are broken! oh no! u can't... Ok, let me think... i stay at home, then don't do anything... why are u at home all day do something at of ur life! OMG! ok I go out... guess what No gas on the car..... Now I'm stuck in the middle of the road with no gas a screaming baby, and no reception...
Ok, I am at home, fridge empty, no gas, no money baby screaming for food!!
I sold all my jewellery so i could do my thing, and now I am stuck in the same old same old!
And the only thing i can think of at least I shud be happy? well The only happiness I get is to tell my husband goodbye! but i can't my baby girl love him...
so I am in the same gold cage for the F*cking rest of this time!
NO WAY!
Need a way out!! |
| | Posted by moose at April 8, 2012 |
27 yr old male College Graduate from a good university. Had a good paying job after graduating. Lost job because I got cancer at 24. Went to Jail for a harmless DUI a year and a half later but managed to keep my job. Lost job because of economy. Drivers License revoked (even to this day) and suffered through a harsh probation period. Been looking for work for a year now. Been on several interviews, applied to over 500 jobs. Dont wanna work with illegal immigrants in a sweaty kitchen. Side note: at the time i got cancer I didnt have health insurance, and i still dont have health insurance. So that fact along with all my student loan debt puts me at a total of about $200,000 that is ruining my credit and making it harder to find a job. Ill never have any control over my life. |
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| Posted by anonymous at April 7, 2012 |
I understand perfectly how everyone on this sight feels. I'm so frustrated. My husband andare both earn a modest income. We are fine but sometimes it's hard to make ends meet. I could deal with that but his family comes from money and our life is not good enough for them. They His family always blames me for everything that goes wrong. It's like they are embarrassed of me. Truth be told I'm slightly more responsible than he is bc I have had to work a lot harder through out lifr. so It burns deep everytime they give lame suggestions on how to better our situation. Trust me I'm trying my best. Of course our one vehicle breaks down when I have no money to pay for it. Instead of trying to help me fix the car they just ramble in about how I need to be a better wife and practically wipe my husband's ass. If they ever do try to offer help it's a total waste. They end up buying us expensive crap we don't need and they think I'm being ungrateful when I try to point that out. If they want to help us why don't they just ask what we need? I don't expect money but Jesus what good is it to have expensive furniture or other crap when I can't fix my car or pay my bills? All I want is them to let us live our lives and leave me alone. |
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| Posted by iwtmsm43 at April 5, 2012 |
Quit school in 12th grade, got married, divorced and grew out of the usual young and stupid crap everyone does when they're young. Married a good man 19 years ago, and he sacrificed his ass off to help me go back to school to pursue my dream-to teach school. I taught one year, then I was told in February of 2008 that my contract wasn't being renewed. Went on to finish my Master of Education, only to find there are NO teaching jobs because of the economy. Actually, there are no jobs period. Meanwhile, I have a $20,000 student loan I cannot default on or the state will take my teaching certification. I've been unemployed since 2008. My poor husband has worked himself almost to death to pay the bills and keep our house. I recently borrowed $1500 to get a class B CDL, and I have only been given one dispatch and the note is almost due. My son is about to graduate high school and got into college, but I don't think we will find the money to pay for it. I tried to set a good example to my kids by going back to school, but now they think I'm stupid for wasting so much of my time for nothing. My son tells me that my teaching job was just a job, and it wasn't important-but I have mourned that job like it was the loss of a person. I still cry about it. It was my fucking dream. My husband and I have no life. He is gone all the time trying to drive and make money, and I just sit here, listening to my son tell me how stupid and pointless I am, and I don't go anywhere except the grocery store because we never have any money. I don't have friends, can't afford hobbies, and this all probably doesn't seem too bad to everyone else, but I feel as if my life IS pointless, and I'm a waste, no good for anything or anyone, and my dreams in life were taken from me and smashed before my eyes. |
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| Posted by anonymous at April 4, 2012 |
I believe most of these posts are from the u.s I'm in the UK don't take this the wrong way i love the u.s I'm half American I'm now 20 years old and life overall seems completely pointless I'm constantly paranoid of other people I'm horrified of talking to any one as I can't trust myself not to lie the hid my miserable life when spoken to, my throat chokes up and I never or barely manage to force a stutered answer. I feel like I'm on drugs all the time when I've never even seen or use any drugs. I've tried suicide 3 times now and I can't bring myself to try again. I have no job and never had one before I've been offered one before but my parents stopped me before my first work day I have no self esteem, confidence, people skills, social life, physical strength, I suffer from depression, asthma and mental breakdown I have no finances though I'm told by my parents when they have a go at me I have around £3000 or more yet I've seen no proof of this. I've no one to talk to I'm mental outstarted and disrespect by my siblings and at one point I snapped under pressure nearly beating my 14 yearly sister who have a bitchy attitude towards me. when I was a child I was retarded and ignorant of every thing around me and I fully aggre that ignorance is bliss i would gladly go back to my childhood at least I was happy then now this seems like a dream from long ago god I so badly wish I was making this shit up but in a nut shell my life is FUCKED UP what can I do? I've tried reading countless books on confidence and improving life and it doesn't help the only thing I ever seem to nowadays is compare my life to everyone else. |
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| Posted by anonymous at April 4, 2012 |
I'm 55. So called own a home, have a husband, 2 grown children and 1 grandchild, 3 dogs, 1 cat. Always paid my bills on time until 2 years ago when economy hit home. Always paid my house note, just gave up paying the credit cards. Everybody lives with me now. Bankruptcy. Thought I could do a chapter 7 and keep my home, but no, too much equity they say, well, my house is run down, but that's not the figure they get from comparables. So, chapter 13 -- Pay the damn creditors and what happens if my old heating unit/air goes out? Then what? I have no money to fix it. Should I just give up my house that I we all live in? Make everybody homeless. Where is the justice? I tried to do the right things in life, always paid my bills but things have gone to shit, the house for sure, but how do I prove that? We are finally getting on our feet, and now just pull the rug out from under us if we file bankruptcy. The future is certainly not CERTAIN. I hired a lawyer after carefully searching for prices and looks like I'm getting screwed by the one I picked! Don't ask my opinion on anything because I'm definitely going to be wrong. I had lawyers tell me "yeah, you can keep you house". Duh...not with the equity they say I have.... oh well, my husband just keeps saying "they can't take your birthday away." Who really wants to have a birthday when you're my age? |
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