| | Posted by Zahir at August 4, 2011 |
Today was terrible day. The stock market lost over 500 points and I am screwed. I thought today was the day to invest and dumped my savings of 20K into the market thinking that stocks would go up today, 08/04/11, since they were on the upswing yesterday afternoon. It was a foolish wager and I lost bigtime, man. Now my family will disown me when they found out because they wanted me to use that money to fly to my native country in Asia to meet a good woman. I am 30 and still single and bring much shame upon my family. They call me a piece of shit when I show up for family celebrations alone and my younger cousins who are married with woman laugh at me and they probably think I am closet gay. I am a Muslim so that is very bad stigma. In my native Bangladesh, they kill them. Hell, you drink one fucking beer and you get flogged, especially during Ramadan.
I am also very overweight from eating too much sesame candy and sweet rice. I need to work out more, but my boss has me working around 70 hours per week at my computer programming firm and I am just so damned tired to do it. Life is very bad. |
| | Posted by anonymous at August 3, 2011 |
I hate my life, utterly and completely. I am Sisyphus incarnate. I am 25 and live with my parents. I have no employable skills and lack at least 3 good years on a degree. Why? Because I've changed majors more times than a snake sheds it's skin. Why? Because I hate everything, I'm bored of everything, and I can find no hope or passion in any of the things I see myself spending my life doing. They are all pointless, meaningless labors without reward or end.
What's worse is that if I found a decent job I have no friends with whom I might move in, much less a partner. Which means that I would have to find a REALLY good job to move out on my own... alone. The few people I do know don't seem to really give a damn if I live or die. My phone never rings, and when I do manage to work up the balls to call someone they more often than not don't answer my call or text, or they just respond with the bare minimum. I don't blame them, I hate them all & I'm sure they pick up on that. I despise them for being able to have relationships and feel happiness. I don't really even want a relationship though, as I've become painfully aware that regardless what happens it ends in tragedy. In fact, the better it goes, the worse it'll be.
I can see no hope for any happiness in my future. I hate everybody and they all hate me. I have no concept of how, much less ability, to speak romantically to a woman. The one relationship I've ever had was with a girl who initiated both the relationship a... |
| | Posted by Suede at June 23, 2011 |
I am currently a state employee. A promotion came up and my supervisor who i was friendly told me that I was a shoe in for the spot. The position requrired me to travel a bit further as part of my duties. So I purchased another vehicle with better gas mileage than my 8 cylinder jeep. Well today my supervisor tells me that they gave the position to another person. So now I have a new car note based on a job that I did not get and income that I won't be getting. shoe in Blah |
| | Posted by anonymous at June 23, 2011 |
I am 33 years old and as pathetic I imagine a person can be. I am a single white male, living alone and eat takeaways every day. I have no friends.
I don't even live in a first world country.
I had a bad upbringing and didn't get on with both my mother and strict father. Because of this I never had the opportunity to rebel and so was just a good quiet kid not trying to upset anyone. I was very underweight for my height and at school they teased me as I looked much younger than my age and because I was so thin I looked anorexic. My mother always said I was greedy taking a big serving when she made food so she made me feel guilty so I took small portions.
I could never do activities after school or make friends as my parents were very antisocial and bough a house far away in the middle of no where and I had to take a lift directly after school to get home.
My life during school was my imagination and daydreaming.
My dad retired early and made my life a misery as he was an alcoholic and was at home and I had to do chores for him like buy him cigarette and alcohol, take off his shoes from his feet,clean his shoes, get him beer, make him drinks and help carry him to bed from the TV because he was too drunk to get there himself. He was a very unreasonable person treating me like a little kid and if I made any noise he could hear even if I was outside he would have a fit and scream at me for doing it.
During school my one hobby was... |
| | Posted by anonymous at June 8, 2011 |
My story started when I aspired to become an Officer in the Army. Not yet knowing what life was really like, how cruel and unforgiving it can be. So I had at it and got so close I could literally see myself living that life. My initial hopes were than dashed on the final selection board. Even after passing every test and meeting every standard, I was simply told, "you just don't have enough life experience".... well what the fuck? thanks for wasting my time.
Two years later I decided, no! I won't give up on this I'm going to be a soldier. So I did, I trained and got strong enough to join up. I was in! maybe not as an officer, but fuck I couldn't believe it I was IN!! after the 80 days of basic I was pumped, fit, lean and ready for anything, at least thats what I thought. And it was at that moment after I marched out, after feeling the biggest sense of pride and accomplishment in my life, that the dream, would begin to warp.
At this point I felt like I could not be beaten down, that I could withstand any and all challenges. I felt like men would have felt after winning a great victory. That place saw me shinning like a star and tore me down until I drowned. It took 12 months of humiliation, belittling, alienation, cruelty and finally betrayal before I broke....
My dream had turned pale and foreign, hateful and inhuman, dark and alone. That place become like a prison. I was invisible, I was unknown, just another good little soldier that kept hi... |
| | Posted by immigrant at June 4, 2011 |
I used to be a very good student,had many friends and had a normal life. I moved to America to get training in the medical profession.
Big mistake,
Now I feel like an outkast, I have a strong accent, so every time I speak I feel like an idiot, I have no car, no friends, I spent my off-time eating crappy food, watching stupid reality shows, and sometimes drinking beer and passing out alone.I don't feel like studying anymore so I'm doing bad at the hospital. I hate the me-me-me culture, celebrities, latest useless stuff.
I feel like I can't never win, like I'm wasting my life but I'm stuck |
| | Posted by anonymous at May 22, 2011 |
I am a 26 year old that had everything I could want and threw it away with one stupid choice. I married the man of my dreams four years ago and we had a great relationship. I had a great career as a nurse in the operating room. We travelled, went out frequently, had disposable income, great sex, etc. I also was active and worked out by running, dancing, doing pilates, and yoga which kept me in great physical shape. I never really had a desire to have children because there were many things that I thought I could do instead. I became a tad bit bored with life as it had become routine, and had been under intense pressure for years by family, friends, and co-workers to have a child. I began to doubt myself and think that maybe I wanted a child and that this final "missing piece" would fill in life completely and it would be a great addition to my family with my husband.
I had the baby and everything came crumbling down. First, when I gave birth to my baby I found out that I have crappy pelvic connective tissue. What does this mean? It means that my uterus, small intestine, and large intestine prolapsed down and tried to fall out of my vagina. It was horrible, my insides felt like they were constantly going to fall out (like beind slowly eviscerated everytime I stood up or did anything but lay down). I constantly felt discomfort and pressure like I was falling apart. Due to this condition I couldn't be active and work-out, poop, have sex without pain, and work as ... |
| | Posted by anonymous at May 9, 2011 |
I was just surfing for ideas on how to put an end to all this misery and I came across this website. Hopefully, this doesn't come too little - too late. The past year or so, I have lost all hope for normalcy. True, I am working towards graduating college. That is a positive, but it doesn't substantiate a happy life in and of itself. You see, I started college 22 years and 6 universities ago. Somewhere I made a couple of wrong turns and ended up becoming a homeless, crossdressing drug addict. No lie. It took 5 years to eventually float back to the surface, and honestly I only went back to school because I was completely unemployable and without purpose. A year and a half later, I still have major anxieties and emotional hangups with just about everything and everyone. It is like I am deathly afraid to live at this point. At times, I feel totally discarded by society and worst of all by myself. I wonder when it stopped being okay to just be me? Self-pity is sometimes not a strong enough emotion to describe one of my 'bad' days. Anyhow, gratitude is a rare commodity these days, and in some ways it would have been easier to stay at the bottom. My struggles today are just as impossible if not more burdensome as when I was down-and-out. God if you are listening, I am only getting one bar on my prayer meter, and I will have to call you back. |
| | Posted by Dr tired at April 14, 2011 |
well mi life is not bad i guest..... My brother dead so all i got left my beatifull wife wich i love and mi dear mother "worlds best mom ever". My problem is things are starting to crumble, you see a few years ago having a profesion was a garanti of succes, how ever now a days it is not. Im doctor, 7 years studiying realy kicking my own ass down on the books. Finished the career and got to the next step... the spciality, studied a full year for the exam and got a speciality on surgery. its was terrible, i was going to die so i talk with mi wife about quiting and start over, she was ok. i did it and im unenployed right now, i try to studi "is not going good" for take the test next year and start over again. at least i was fast i meet this guy hwo finished a especiality but was 2 years unenployed, that sucks, now i got the exam againg and is doing another especiality, 4 years of his live to the crap.
Today i start thinking ¿WHAT THE HELL ARE WE DOING? i spend 9 years of mi life studying like an asshole, spent thousands of dollars, and only worked for 1 year (its doesnt even pay 1% of the cost of my studies). i dont drink, dont smoke, never tried drugs on mi life. dammm im a saint, dont even cheat my wife... "no need i think shes a beauty".
only think i want to do is go down the street, go berserk and fuicking kill averyone como close.... but then i see my wife, get calm and say fuck it.
Lost 9 years of mi life.. so what? unenployed... so... |
| | Posted by bamasadguy at April 7, 2011 |
In my mid-thirties I had life by the balls. Had a good job where I was well-respected. I was in great shape, just built a nice home. Two sweet kids and a good wife. But I pissed it all away with my own selfishness. I was a "player". Good-looking, and smooth. But it bit me in the ass in the long run. Now I'm past middle-aged, overweight, bad health, and broke, with another broken marriage and a crappy job. Living in a shitty little house watching everyone I knew back then living great lives and getting ready to retire. But I'll have to work till I die due to a string of stupid decisions. So now I sit here, all alone in a house with a couple of chairs and a tv sitting on a plastic table. Broke, very few friends, and a dead-end job that I'll have to do until I die just to survive. I wish I could die. I would NEVER kill myself, because I do still have two kids and I would never do that to them. But if only I could just have a heart attack or stroke or something, what a relief it would be. |
| | Posted by anonymous at March 31, 2011 |
I am a 36yo guy. I come from a good family, never abused, no fkd up childhood or anything. But i ended up partying alot as a kid and by the time i was 18 i was trying heroin and within a short period of time i was a junkie. I managed to support my habit for 10 years or so by stealing from my family mostly after i had lost everything i had. They were amazingly understanding and just wanted to see me get better as anyone would. Eventually they had no choice but to press charges because it was the only way to protect themselves. I spent 5 years in prison and it was the best thing that could have happened to me.I never touched it again after in was released in 2006. I was extremely excited about my future at this point...
Unfortunately i began drinking heavily and drank between a pint and a 5th of bourbon every night for the first year and a half i was out. But i was doing great, i had a good job, and apt and a g/f. But i had contracted hep-c as a result of my drug use and alcohol is like pouring gas on a fire when you have a liver disease. So eventually i was able to get off the booze...anyway, fast forward to now..
I am not a 36 yo man that is unemployed bc i got injured and could no longer work at construction. I don't know exactly how bad my heath really is, although considering ive had hep-c for about 10 years now and 3 of those years were literally spent drinking heavily and daily. So i imagine not good, i see physical signs of liver problems, but i ... |
| | Posted by nothing at March 22, 2011 |
Male 34y/o. My life sucks. In 2003 I decided to make a career change. I was an electrician at the time. Work was bad and I got tired of working outdoors and tired of the labor involved with the trade. I decided that I would go back to school and get a BS in nursing. I did a lot of research and found that nursing is a respectable career with a lot of opportunity with decent pay and bennies.
I started college from scratch and it took me 6 years to get by degree. To do this I gave up my career in electrical, sold my house, lived in a 400 square foot apartment and lived very frugally. Now nobody will hire a new grad nurse because it is too costly to train them. I have been searching for a year to no avail. My degree is useless in any other setting because of its selectivity to nursing. I can’t go back to electrical as I am now out of the Union and not licensed. To make matters worse, I can not land even a shit job. I hate my life and really no longer want to live. My family told me back in 2003 that I was “stupid” to go back to school. I guess they were right. Now I am nothing.
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| | Posted by anonymous at March 3, 2011 |
I am 38, self employed where my only work comes from a friend that wants to be compensated for it. 6 months out of the year I have no work. I have 5 kids from 3 different moms. Two are twins that i had from my first and only marriage. We were young and I moved out when they were 2. their mother and i divorced a year later. I joined the military at 25 and did all i could do to get out once i got in. Without giving it a chance, i found a way out 2 months later then realized after the fact that it wasn't that bad. Got involved with drugs which tainted me for a couple years. Had good jobs only to mess them up for no reason. After cleaning up i got another job that i liked a lot and did well at. Also settled down into a new relationship with a married woman. 5 years into new job and relationship with woman who is now pregnant, i break my arm at work and get on drugs again while out on workers comp. Girlfriend and i spilt after our new daughter is 4 months old. I start selling drugs to support my habbit and run with a huge crowd of losers. After several arrests and being put on probation i clean up again and meet new girl friend at new job where i delivered pizza. She gets pregnant after 1 month. She buys a house and we move in together. I become self employed by turning a small hobby of fixing computers into a PC house calls. Then i go into a verbal partnership with a buddy installing cabling for another buddy whom i mentioned earlier. Our only work comes from him. At times we... |
| | Posted by anonymous at February 26, 2011 |
x-mas eve 2010,I have been in an arguement with my wife,due to I wanted to try and work from home,other then going to the same shit job I had for the past 14 years.I have bipolar disorder,I was going through one of my manic phase,I thought I could make money at home through a raido-wifi feed.We decided to spend the night at my wife"s parents house,due to we have not spoken to my parents in years.When we arrived I was telling my in-laws about what I thought I might want to do for work.My Mother in law told me if I left my job and didn"t have another,then I could go to hell.My wife was angry with me,everyone started shouting at me,telling me to sit down and shut the fuck up.My 2 boys were there as well,15 year oldand a 11 year old.I spent about $500 on my kids that was sitting on the floor,that we brought with us.After everyone making me feel like a piece of shit,I wanted to drive myself home.My father in-law,stood up blocked me,and forced me to sit on a stool in kitchen.I told them they are holding me here against my will.My mother in law herd that went in bedroom called police.My mother in-law and my wife told the police I am fucking nuts with a mental disease.The police gave me a choice jail or mental hospital.I figured this is fucked,I cant watch my kids open presents I bought?..So I start yelling outside(look police are going to beat me up).That was enough for them to kick my ass and take me to jail.I spent x-mas there through new-years.When I finally got out on bond... |
| | Posted by anonymous at February 23, 2011 |
I'm stuck in a rut. I've spent the last 15 years training to be something I really don't care about or want to do anymore. Sure it was fun and challenging getting those various advanced degrees, but in the end, it just wasn't worth it. What a waste of time. What a waste of my life.
If only I enjoyed what I'm doing right now, the sacrifices (personal relationships, monetary) would have been worth it. Now, at 34, I'm alone, mediocre, and doing something that I don't believe in. I have no family, few to no friends, little to no chances at improving this situation if I stay like this. I'm just getting by, but barely.
I'm tired of being something that I'm not. I'm tired of not believing in myself and having no confidence. I'm tired of not going for what I really want in life. I realize that although I'm still relatively young, life is starting to pass me by faster than ever. I'm tired of not having the courage to just risk it all and go for broke. There's nothing holding me back but myself. I wish I was stronger, I wish I could just act.
I really have nothing to lose anymore. I don't want to quit life. I don't want to give up on myself. I just want to quit the life I currently have now. I just want to give up who I'm trying to be, and be the real me.
My current life does suck. To me at least.
But I've got to keep fighting.
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| | Posted by MRA at February 11, 2011 |
For four ears, now, I have been going to university away from home. Four years my parents have paid my way through. I've been studying business with a specialization in accounting. First year was a breeze, I did virtually no work, and still pulled off a 3.9 GPA. Second year got a little harder, but I still did the bare minimum and kept my GPA above a 3.0. Anytime I spoke to my parents, if they asked how school was going, I would lie and tell them it was all good and I was doing well.
Third year rolled around, and things started getting hard. I failed one of my major courses first semester. My parents were unimpressed to say the least. Still, my approach never changed. Do the bare minimum. Retaking the course again this year, I failed again. My parents couldn't understand how I had failed, especially since I had told them I was doing well in the course during the semester. After having talked to the teacher and discovered the truth of my lies, they are furious. I've never seen them this angry. They say I betrayed them, that I wasted their money and my time, and that this behaviour was downright disrespectful.
I feel terrible about this. It was never my intention to fuck things up so royally. I don't know why I lied so much, why I couldn't tell them how things were really going, and that I probably needed help with this class. I dont know why, even after I had failed the class, I didnt just tell them everything, why they had to hear it from the teacher. |
| | Posted by Wannabe lawyer at January 27, 2011 |
I wouldn't listen to anyone when I was a kid, so I first ran off and joined the Navy at 18 instead of studying hard in high school and going straight to college. I came back home after I got out and started school, but I had a nervous breakdown and dropped out of college and didn't work for three years. My mom had me locked up several times during this period I guess she got tired of my drunk ass bumming around her house all the time. Finally went back to school. Joined the National Guard, but punked out in basic so i wouldn't have to quit school and go to Iraq. Finally finished school last year - at 30 - with a useless BA in Political Science that I only got so I could apply to law school. Didn't get in to law school last year so I'm trying again this year. Sounds great, right? Wrong. I'll be graduating three years from now with a LOT of student loans and no money and maybe no job. Ive been depending on my mother a lot recently (who am I kidding, my whole life, practically) since I blew my inheritance from my dad, I have no money at all. I got married in October to a wonderful woman, who stays pissed off at me constantly because I can't quit smoking and who is beginning to find out what an unemployable loser she married. My mom can't afford to support me since she has to take care of my autistic sister and my niece and she's about to retire this May (she's a teacher). I came into this world with everything but I didn't know what I had, and now I'm struggling. My life sucks. Sometimes I just pray to God that I would die. |
| | Posted by The plasmaguy at January 24, 2011 |
4 Yrs ago I resigned from a six figure salary because I wanted more out of life than punching a clock and making someone else rich. So I decided that I could go into business for myself. Little did I know that The economy and my world would come crashing down on me and keep my head pinned in the sand. I started with an initial investment of 100k in a con-mans investment sceem. this started my downward spiral. 4 years later I am still trying to recover and maintain my faith in a higher being, justice and my fellow man. However what I have come to learn is that there is no justice for manking....There is just you and the world...I break my back day in and day out trying to provide for my family and not take advantage of other people.....but what I am seeing is that it seems as if the guys that are willing to take advantage are the ones that seem to have all of the success. I am just so depressed and sad right now I don't know what to do. It's pitiful Iknow, but it is what it is right now. I just need some light at the end of this tunnel..please held.....
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| | Posted by anonymous at January 23, 2011 |
Let's start out. When i was 8 my mother went nuts and has been on pluto since then. I grew up being artsy fartsy and everyone telling me to conform. My parents divorced when I was 11. I turned into a thief, conman and drug addict and habitual bad student from then on. I've dreamed about running away or killing myself or some other form of suicide like a sex change. I cheated on my girlfriend all through high school. I have had stds. I dropped out of high school. I dropped out of college. I dropped out of the Army. I knocked a dumb lsd slinging flakey hippy dip shit up 3 times! I married her stupid ass. I went straight and became an at home father with small side handyman work here and there. She made the bacon and was in business management. After 10 years she gets popped for embezzlement. She leaves me because I can't pick up the ball she dropped and complains we will always be poor. I have paid off 60K in credit card debt of hers in full twice and the third time I said hell no. We were screwed over and out of 25K from a real estate deal gone bad. I am now divorced. I do not see my kids. I live 3000 miles away from them. I live with my father who is a complete asshole. I am 32 and I have a high school diploma, no savings, no health insurance, no life insurance and no job. Trashed credit. I can't even open a checking account because my ex fucked that all up. I can't even buy my own clothes. I am in arrears of $2000 in child support. I ran out of gas the other day drivi... |
| | Posted by S at January 23, 2011 |
I just need to vent here (sorry, English is not my first language).
I got raped when I was just 16, and having to live a traumatized childhood is already exhausting for me. In school, I didn't really have many friends so I spent my years eating alone in the canteen or inside the classroom.
Then I met this guy when I was 18, got pregnant and was looking forward to have a future with him. I wouldn't mind working my ass off to provide a better life for my new family. However, after three months, he told me he couldn't afford it hence; the abortion. Then a week later, he went off with another girl and I was left alone feeling guilty (due to the loss of the baby) and was crushed with fake hopes and promises. And it was very painful to do the abortion. He promised to NEVER leave me, but yes..he did.
Time passed, I began venturing into the modeling industry. Everything was great and after two years experience, I was offered the job as an Event Planner. Then, things got worse. I got accused for money swindling and having to mistreat the models. I didn't know what to do but I did try to explain to the Tourism Board and some sort of Government association..but to no avail. One of the girls wanted to sue me, I had to beg for a chance and finally, I got fired. Much worse, I got blacklisted in my country's Tourism Board; which means my name is pretty much ruined, I can't organize anymore events, can't attend any of them, can't invest, etc. The thing is, I ... |
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