LIFE SUCKS : Loneliness

the least relevant 70kg on the planet

Yeah you might call this a first word problems post. I am 23, I have an existence, and I will likely get qualifications to mantain it. Hooray, I can vegetate. Like a fucking goldfish. Or a rock. I am as important to other people as a fucking rock. I am going nowhere. The people I meet look through me. If I ever build some kind of relationship it breaks. I have never had a girlfriend. I have never been loved. I have never been hugged. Never. I have never been looked in the eye and told from the heart that I matter. That my life life matters, that anything I do matter at all. I travel alone, I eat alone, I sleep alone, and my best text message-buddy is Vodafone.

I was raised religiously, I was at pshychologists, I tried to make other people understand 1 percent of my life but nothing and noone can tell anything that will change anything. I think I know most of the self-motivational bullshit that only helps normal people to get through temporary bad moods and that probably some of you strangers reading this post will comment. But I am not normal, I am a freak.

I tried. And failed. Basically trying and failing is what I've been doing for 23 years. If I take one look at the result of my efforts I could cry. It is now quite logical to deduce that if trying results in failure, then I might as well give the fuck up.

always alone suffering

i guess im destined to be alone and it really fucking sucks. Ive never had a boyfriend...i have no friends. ive been aloen for 15 years..its hell like i can't describe. I cant meet anyone, i cant meet a guy...im alone 24/7. The only people I hang out with weirdos i meet off the internet who are freaks who try to use me for sex and when they can't get any they bail and I have to get on craigslist to meet these weirdos and put ads in--it sucks.. My friendships with tehse weirdos last 2 weeks usually through text then they're gone. I can't go to parties, anything i have no friends, and people shun me. peopel who whine about being alone when they have people make me sick-- try living in my shoes a day you'd freak out. No one comes to visit me...i have to trick people into visiting me and usually they are these weirdo guys thinking they'll get laid. The only people who coem to my place are these ugly loser weirdo males who are hoping to get laid-- it's awkward and strange...I have to suffer through chatting or a bad movie where they're saying "why don't you come sit next to me"..and im like nah..not into that...sometimes im scared some sicko weirdo might rape me. But that might be ok since im a VIRGIN and in my 30's...ive never had a boyfriend...im beautiful and gorgeous but doesn't matter--males hate me cuz im beautiful so i cant meet anyone except tehse fuking weirdos off craigslist and I give up--it's so weird and not fair...ive NEVER had a relationship NEVER had a boyfrien...

why am i still alive

i just turnd 18, all i want to do is die. i hate my life, i hate my family. my family is more concernd with themseles n dont notice i do drugs to stop feelin hurt.

ive lost all my friends becuase they dont want to hang around me on drugs.. bt my homelife is soo stressful i jst cnt quit or cope. i dont care if i dont wakeup tmrw. i have no friends, no soulmate, and ima lesbian who is too scared to tel anyone

i feel alone trapped stuck lost like nobody else can hear me screamin . i scared im jst crazy n need to run away

I have no one within 3000 miles

I moved 3000 miles from all of my friends and family to be with fiancee who is military. I sold my car, quit my job, packed everything I could fit into several suitcases and hopped on a plane to try and start over in a new city. A better life or so I thought. Since I have no vehicle out here I can't go anywhere really unless I take his car. I have sent my resume out over 125 times but have had no luck in the job market. I don't know anyone but my fiancee here and to make matters worse I'm almost 8 months pregnant. Combine the pregnancy horomomes with the constant feeling of being alone and you have tears...lots and lots of tears. My fiancee is great but he works most of the day and is too tired to do anything by the time rush hour traffic let's him get home. By then I'm starved for human interaction. I feel like a puppy that is locked in the bathroom while ur away from home. The excitement to even see and talk to someone. Granted I do keep in touch with all my people from back home but talking on the phone just isn't the same. It's hard to enjoy being pregnant and having the baby when I feel so miserable all the time. I was so desperate to find a friend that I put an ad on Craiglist. I've never had this much trouble meeting new people. I've never been so alone before.

Friends and Family

Sorry about the empty post but it means that my life is empty. My friends only talk to me when they want something. My brother wants to "touch" me(you know in a we are together kind of way with no strings when i dont want to). My real mom hasn't bothered to call. My real parents don't give a flying fuck. My sister is just one annoying whining spoiled little wanna bee princess. I am alone. My brother says he just wants to be closer to me. I said wer are claose without that. He says we are not that close. He said he doesnt want to fuck me he just wants to rub. To tell you the truth i am saving for marriage but with my appearance I dont think any guy will step up to the plate. I feel so alone. MY LIFE SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Rut

I need to do something here. I feel afraid to leave the house most days, seems like all I want to do is sit around and smoke pot. I have been chronic for more than ten years now, and I want to stop but can't seem to help myself, I feel like I turn into a maniac when I feel the need for weed, like no matter what I do life will always be nothing but duty. Up until now I have managed to keep rent paid, but work has dried up and I can't motivate myself to look anyway. I know I could get work but the fear of the whole process leaves me panicking before I even start. And, of course, reaching for my pipe. I feel ashamed of getting high, and getting high is the only way to avoid the shame. I have made it to 41 now, but I feel the same as I did as a kid; scared, lonely, and unloved. And as I get older, now I am married with a 7 year old boy, I feel the constant weight of responsibilities that I don't feel capable of dealing with. And what's the world's response to me? Same as always. "Suck it up." I hate this world sometimes.

WHERE ARE MY VIRGINS?

i feel so bad, someone shit in my turban as i slept, and i am losing my faith in the seventy virgins. I am 46 years old and I have never had a girlfriend. my job at stop and save sucks, and I hate detroit. people come in and call me apoo. I hate life, i hope there are at least 6 virgins waiting for me. i am ready to go

loneliness

for a long time ,i didn't have the feeling loving a person and to be loved.i have boyfriend and some good friends,but i still feel lonely.when the night falls,when i close my eyes,i wish someone in my mind ,but my life is so empty,there is no one can give me that great memory to think of.everything i did is wrong ,i just make it worsen every step i take,and now i pay for the price,i become the loneliest person.

This loneliness will kill me

I have been very upset with myself and my life for a long time, I chose a great career path and will be graduating with a degree in 4 months, but I really don't care for the job. I live with my parents and siblings but we rarely speak to each other. I've been acting out silently in ways those that know me would be shocked. I've secretly been finding men off websites and fucking them, no money or drugs involved, just liquor and sex. I can't stop myself. I've done this about 15 times in the last 5 months. I can't really say why- I'm lonely, bored, desperate for attention, mentally ill, not ready to begin my adult life? I don't know and most of the time don't really care. I'm hoping this is just a phase I'll forget about in the distant future, but when you think about how bad your life is, try and think about what I've done to myself, then you'll realize you're not that bad.

Welcome to my life

This si my 4th entry in this website. And yes my life sucks.

I'm a 20 years old moroccan gay man, alone and lonely. I've been in some relationships that lasted only for some days. I have lots of qualities that can make of me a very popular person. I'm smart, somehow funny, and somehow nice. I study French at University, and I know lots of poeple. I hang around with them a lot, I somehow feel accepted and loved. But it seems that at some point, they let go of me. I can't figure out why. I do my best so I can stay close to them, but it just doesn't work. I look around and see people talking and laughing, and having a good time together, but they barely notice me, or come to me. It always has to be me the one to go to them. Sometimes I just feel like I want people to abroad me, and talk to me. It might seem a very benign issue, but actually it sucks. I've come to lose all my emotions and my motivation. I don't feel like having friends anymore, though I know it's very important. Maybe that's the reason why after all ? It shows that I'm a very cold person, so nobody dare approach me ? I also feel uncomfortable under my skin(But I don't lack much of self confidence). I think other people are resilient and independant, unlike me. I can go and talk to someone, and make it look like I really need them, but they seem to be distant and careless. I feel like being with me or not is something that makes no difference. People have their own lives, and I don't. They act the way they like, and are not afraid to show it. And that pisses me off.

I don't know if what I say makes sens, but I hope you understand me.

Please help

I have a good life but there's something missing

I'm 20 years old and I can safely say I have a good life but I can't help but feel like there's something missing. By something I mean a woman in my life. Everywhere I look I see people in and out of relationships. A couple of my friends just got engaged and I look at myself and only think about why I can't have what they have. I am truly a fun person to be around but when I come home I feel I am a completely different person. I don't want anyone to think me being fun is a charade because that is who I am but being an only child, when I'm home all I do is think about why I have not met a special someone. Adding to that are the problems I face every time I see or hear from my father. We have never seen eye to eye and he has verbally and physically abused me for over 15 years. Because of these factors I have developed a bit of a bipolar personality in which I am laughing and all smiles for a second but suddenly all the bad memories and thought are let free and I just want to be alone. I try to vent it out through my hobbies (writing, playing guitar and listening to music) but they are not enough. The thoughts still chase me. I was asked once what I would change about myself. I didn't want to sound all depressing and ruin the fun atmosphere so I said I wish I was taller but in my mind was the real answer- "I wish I could cry easier". It is very hard for me to cry so I cannot vent out all the negative emotions. I try and try but I can't squeeze out a single tear. What I want i...

Loneliness

Hey iv never felt so lonely before:( I'm an only child, its just my mom and i in the house and i have a short temper so i don't make great convo with her! I spend most of my time sleeping. My dreams are beter than reality , i had a lot of friends then all of a sudden i started feeling out of place . I met this guy last year he took my virginity and ripped my heart out my chest. The pain is still there,and I'm going through it alone i have noone to talk to oneone at all literally people who were my friends just feel like people i know :( sorry i just had to get abit off my chest

I came from a dominant, confident, never been dump and living the life financially and having tons of friends to now 30 jobless, lives at home and friendless. I lost everyone and the only person i did have was an emotional abusive ex bf and lastnight was the last (yah right I said this 2x already) ill ever have him cuss at me.. I cussed him out too... I have God and I should be good BUT Why do I feel this emptiness and sadness... Ive became the black sheep of the family and I dislike my lil lesbian sister who selfishly only care about her happiness and does what she wants and acts as if everyone is her slave including my folks BUT everyone adores her... WTF!!!!
I want friends to go out with and praying so badly to finally the guy whose rib I came out from...
Im not an ugly woman, Im decent looking and have such a one of a kind heart.
Its sucks cause all I really want is to find my soulmate but how can I if I dont go out cause no where to go and I dont have my own car and Jobless... what would I do without the internet.. Its my bestfriend now and hoping God will miracously manifest the guy of my dreams online or at least the friends whom can be for life...
Damnnn I forgot to mention I tolerated the ex and kept chasing him cause I have nobody else.. I actually did loved the guy but he can careless if I died... I so hope I can stand on my ground this time and not chase after him cause Im feeling alone and wants to get out.. Im tired feeling like a fool and...

loneliness

I life has been getting worse by the day. Mainly because of my personal loneliness. Ive lost friend after friend and now I have almost none left. I feel like im kind to others but i have trouble keeping friendships. The feeling of loneliness that I have waking up in the morning is so painful in my heart. Its almost worse than physical pain. I dont know how to hold relationships and keep them lasting longer than a semester at school. My parents think im not normal for not having friends and i also think im not normal. With all the success that I may get from school or work, it almost seems like i cant celebrate because its just me. on my own. all the time. Sometimes i even cry about being alone and dont get out of bed 2 hours later. I want to stop feeling like this. I want to get to know somebody....

Where do I go from here?

I'm 32 yrs old been married for 12 yrs. I had my daughter prematurely. She is a special needs child. This was about the darkest time in my life. My husband couldn't accept it and turned to drugs and alcohol. He's never been a good husband but I dealt with it because I loved him. Well now we have 2 more children 5 and 1. He quit the alcohol and drugs and he shockingly became a good daddy. Well a few months ago I found out he had a girlfriend. He's gone at work everyother week so he had no problems hiding it. Well about a month or so into his relationship I found out. I was devestated. I accepted him back for my kids sake. Also I really don't think at this point anyone else would want me. I have no family here where we live now. I'm surrounded by his family. I have no friends, no one to relate to. We live in the country so its hard for me to get out. We rely on one vehicle so most of the time I'm stuck at home. I'm afraid to be a single mom so I suffer in silence. Loneliness consumes me. I can't provide for my kids like he can and since I quit school to care for my daughter I only managed to get my GED. I feel trapped and lonely. Wondering if this is it. Is this what my life is reduced to? Total unhappiness. The only thing that gets me up in the a.m. is my kids. Well thanks for letting me vent. Maybe some day ill see the light at the end of the tunnel.

feeling lonely

i am married for 5 yrs i got married when i was 21 it was an arranged marriage i completed my btech in electronics and telecommunication i wanted 2 go 4 mba but my parents forced me 2 get married. i had my first affair at d age of 16 i loved him so much but he was a flirt..he never loved me i had so much pain in my life tht time he used me n got married 2 someone else i was completely broken down...was shattered then came another guy in my life it was just 8 months before my marriage tht he came into my life he loved me so much but i never committed him since i was not in a position to take another heartbreak i seriously liked d guy but never confessed my feelings to him then after 3 months of knowing each other i started loving him n when i was about 2 tell him tht i loved him my parents fixed my marriage..i told him...i was pissed off i told him tht if he wanted me 2 get married 2 him he should tell his parents about us and he should ask them 2 come 2 my home n talk 2 my parents but he didnt do it i just dont knw whether he actually loved me or not by talkn 2 him i always felt tht his feelings were genuine but d way he behaved it showed another story
i got married after six months he never called me or sent me any email or didnt had any contact through social networking site i contacted him six months after my marriage n since then sometimes i message him or talk 2 him whenever i miss him badly but he never showed tht interest in me d way he had before its always m...

On the outside

I'm a 26 year old woman. Tall, slim, pretty in my own way I guess.
I moved to a new city to take a job I really wanted.
I had to break up with my partner of nearly 10 years and leave the home we had made together and our two cats who were important parts of my life.

I was so broken when I got here but I tried to hold my head up and I tried hard not to focus on my fears and hurt that I probably didn't deal with it properly.

Now 6 months later I realise I have only made one friend who is often busy with her husband and children.

Some of my workmates I think actively don't like me. It puts my on edge at work and ruins what is my only social interactive apart from the supermarket.

I can go days without speaking to anyone. Sometimes I buy things at the mall to feel a part of something but really I hate shopping and can't afford it.

In desperation for some sort of human contact I went online dating. Met a guy and immediately went out with him and had sex with him. We did this weekly for about 6 weeks- always on his terms- always mostly about the sex. I know I was a booty call but I was always counting down the days until I could see him again so I had someone to pass the time with, someone to touch, someone to touch me. Often he was the only person to ask me in a week how I was.


I had a flat with a girl who hardly spoke to me so I moved again. The new flatmates speak to me when there is noone else around but th...

ironically lonely

I am literally surrounded by loved ones and friends, but that does nothing to make me feel any less lonely than I do. I am in college. My best friends are all away this semester. My family lives states away from me. My friends from home go to schools far from where I am. I am constantly surrounded by people that claim they care about me, they love me, they are my friends....but what they say and what they do are two different stories. My true loved ones are miles and miles away. I hate living in a world that I feel utterly alone in. I haven't really had a true healthy relationship with a guy. When I have a potential relationship I get myself so worked up that I obsess over it though so scared I never pursue it, which only hurts more. Every time I talk to or skype a loved one that is far from me the conversation ends in a fit of tears as the last thing I want to do is end the call. I miss them so much. My life feels empty and pointless without having them here to share it with. They of course remind me that they are always here, though not physically, always here for me. It doesn't help that feeling of loneliness go away though. I have done so poorly this semester in school. I am a straight-A student and have always been on the Dean's list. I don't think my grades will cut it this semester. I have no motivation to get out of bed, let alone do any work. I put off everything my school work, to actual work, to seeing the friends I do still have around campus. Nothing seems wo...

I'm a 52 year old single woman who is very lonely. Six years ago my mother died. We were very close and her death almost tore me apart. Before she passed, the two of us went shopping, dinner together, etc. I had many close friends and went shopping, to movies, had drinks, etc. It was wonderful. Now, all of my single friends have married, my friends that were married seem to have no time to do anything. We may have dinner once or twice a year!! Is all they have time for is their family. Since I have no family (no children, no spouse, no brothers, sisters, parents, etc.) my friends are the most important thing. The problem is, they only seem to call and/or see me when they have nothing better to do. I keep telling myself to quit feeling sorry for myself. I do have a good job and nice home, but that doesn't do anything to help with being lonely. Is all I do every day is get up, go to work, come home, eat and go to bed.
I was sitting in my chair playing card games on my computer when I decided to search about being lonely. I read many sad stories. At least I know I am not alone.

life of hell

so my life was pretty normal..up until 20-21...I had an ok childhood--yes a little abuse from family and depression big time but it was bearable. But when i hit 20ish...its like everything just began to go down the tubes, and ive been through 15 years of TORTURE, bad luck hell horror extreme suffering...just hell and nothing else. its like i was cursed or was and the curse began around that time and just went down to a roller coaster of horror for 15 years.. My life from then on was total ISOLATION...i couldnt make any friends ro meet anyone..people were mean to me...i did move to a different city but still, it was just so messed up. I tried desperately to make friends was very friendly but to no avail. no matter how hard i tried iw as ALWAYS alone... People would ban me from restaurants, gossip about me do horrible extreme things to me. My family also turned on me and my cruel mtoher destroyed my life legally financially and in horrendous ways...i cant get into the details but basically she put me through extremely horrific suffering for many many years--had me put on disability tricked me so she could receive the moeny and have 'control' over my life...she had me labeled, and did all this b/c she is a sociopath who wanted control over my life. i couldnt believe anyone could do this to someone and i had no clue what to do about it and still don't. I have to hire lawyers, and get justice legally but i would end up losing a lot since i rent in a place my dad owns and...