| | Posted by rick ny at March 22, 2012 |
My first panic attack ended me in the e.r i was haveing chest pain and symptoms of a heart attack i never felt this befor i was so scared and now as i write this im in the hospital because they think i had a heart attack and its scarry shit how do i deal qith these with out pills please please help me |
| | Posted by too-old-to-soar-like-an-eagle at March 22, 2012 |
hmm..life sucks..sucks major. My life is so messed up I do not know where to start. Maybe quick brief about myself. I am 43year old male who is suffering depression and anxiety disorder. I am under medical care for past 4 years. I have separated with my wife of 7 years over a year ago..Thank God I did separate..otherwise i would probably kill myself long time ago. not that I do not think about it from time to time :(
In past 3 years I have changed jobs 3 times, for various resons.. first I needed something more challenging, then I was let go due some office politcs and economy.. then my next job I lost because of my relationship problems.. now I hear gossips I may loose this job, again. That drives me to depression again. I need stability so bad.
I started to date a nice lady about 8 months ago, but now my relationship is on rocky waters since my gf wants more commitment. I feel it is too early and I feel overwelmed. Beside that I have huge financial dept. For past 15 years I go up and down again with my finances, but I can never free myself from this financial burden. By my calculation it will take probably 6 more years before I will reduce my debt to the level whre I will be able to breath more freely.. Not sure how long it will take to completely pay it out. Belive me.. i was thinking about bunkrupcy too. I do not make much money, but not too little either..Enough to survive, but not enough to dream, enough for payments this month.. may not be en... |
| | Posted by yo at March 19, 2012 |
I hate having severe anxiety I can't do anything to remedy it other then taking pills but taking pills makes me feel like a loser and I know it's not a long term solution. I stopped taking any pills or drinking alcohol 3 months ago... I workout, have a healthy diet I try hard to improve myself and my life anyway I can but the the anxiety I can't control I can maybe mask it for short periods of time but eventually it becomes obvious that I have issues and it's the reason i can't keep a job for more then 6 months. I have 2 kids now and am ashamed of who I am I am a bad example for them both their mothers left me and with good reason I was a fake a fraud and they eventually realized it. My kids will grow up and see what a loser pussy their Dad is. My parents were succesful in life they are ashamed of me even though they won't admit it they are such strong people I don't know why I am so weak and afraid why I have so much anxiety my parents aren't like this at all. I try to tell myself it's so silly just deal with it get over it but it doesn't work I tremble with fear I get panic attacks and people prey on this they smell my fear my anxiety my insecurity and torment me because I seem to be an easy target. |
| | Posted by anonymous at March 17, 2012 |
I have been diagnosed with Anxiety, Depression and ADD since I was 13 and I have been placed in various mental hospitals and treatment centers throughout my life. I'm only 18 and I've already spent more than a year and a half in total in "loony bin" and I'm sure I'm not even close to being done yet. I missed the experience of a normal high-school and I will never know what it's like to have been a regular teenager. I thought I could turn my life around when I was applying to college but I had no clue what I was doing and no one helping me including my parents. My parents are total assholes who went through a rough divorce and my Dad constantly used me and my sister to get at my mom, including filing a false police report the night before I took the SATs. I have no money and no future and no one helps me because people claim that I'm very intelligent and simply don't apply myself. I don't have a drivers license because I keep failing the permit test and no one gives a dam including my Aunt who happens to be in Governor's administration. I spend most of days playing video games and surfing the web because I'm too embarrassed to hang out with former friends who probably would think of me as a loser anyway. Any ideas about what to do ? Because I'm starting to run out. |
| | Posted by Julia at March 16, 2012 |
Okay, since I don't have anyone in my life to who I can tell this I am putting this up here, hoping that someone would read it. My name is not Julia, but I would like to hide my real ID. I am a girl, 18 years old, finishing high-school, love art.
My childhood was very painful, I was always a black sheep, never fitting anywhere, always getting rejected because of my taste in music, my black clothes etc. I think people find me pretty, I have had a lot of boyfriends, one serious relationship and can tell I have some experience in that section. However, I suffer from low self-esteem and can't seem to find boyfriends anymore. I also cut myself, but I stopped about a year and a half ago. So, as I said, my childhood was painful, but i got through it somehow, especially with my mother's help. In spite of all the problems my father had been causing over the years (cheating, drinking, beating me up every night, yelling at mom because he's drunk and angry), she was there all the time. She was my shoulder to cry on. Than, I grew up a little bit, went to high-school, have no friends there. I had only one friend, a best friend for 12 years of my life. No one like her in the world. Till one day, 6 months ago, she gained new friends and left me when i most needed her. My grandmother was in the hospital, my uncle had serious heart problems, my brother abandoned me and went to States, never calls me... And the main problem - my mother, which I adore so much, got sick from brain cancer.... |
| | Posted by Another day at March 14, 2012 |
23 years old .havent completed univ in last year but feel like it's going down.I don't knw what I am going to do with my life as what I studying I have no passion for.I don't knw what my passion really is traveling .II feel hopeless an useless.I constantly feel nervous and anxious.People say ur Nothing and will never make any money if u don't have a university education.
I feel lonely like no one understands me.The best time is when I go to bed at
Night it takes me away from my sadness.I feel depressed
I wish I could smile again and feel positive but I just don't know how to
anymore.Every second day or so I feel like hanging myself from my shower head
With my bed lininen or when I'm driving crashing into a wall.
What am I doing here I feel useless.I feel like everyone is judging me and talking behind my back saying how useless .it's taking a toll on me emotionally I feel so empty inside. |
| | Posted by anonymous at March 13, 2012 |
I am a 27 year old female virgin, still living with my parents, I can't drive, and have never lived on my own, or been on holiday on my own. I have never had a boyfriend or dated any one, as I get older all I do is watch other people be happy with each other and wondering why I must be singled out as different, i can't talk to anyone about this as there is no one who will relate, to be told that I am attractive, good looking, it just leads me to thinking that I must be ugly on the inside to be repelling people away, guys stare but they don't approach, and I have tried to be more active in this, by striking up conversations first, smiling back, but I never know what to do beyond that stage and it never progresses to a phone call, I am an antisocial person by nature, so I am out of my comfort zone in this, although guys like to think women have the power in regards to sex, we really don't, society dictates that it is the man who should make the contact, as a woman you have to play games to get a guy to "chase" you, and you have to do it the right way: come on too soft and they won't get the message, come on too strong and they think you are desparate, I never realised trying to be happy was so hard. I am not defining my happiness on another person, but it is nice to atleast experience a moment with someone. To have someone, even for a short time, think that you are worth something.
That's only one problem, which I guess could be related to a wider problem of gene... |
| | Posted by Jess at March 11, 2012 |
I'm 28, married with a job and I have an above average intellect... You'd think I'd ve happy right? That's far from true. I used to hace friends, dreams, hopes, and aspirations but that is no longer the case. My husband and I work opposite schedules and only see each other on weekends, my family is close by but I am not the golden child and find that my brothers wants and needs are much more important to my mother than my own. My brother is a lazy p.o.s. that has never held down a job, is physically and verbally abusive to anyone that may upset him, he lives off the government and bleeds my parents dry. To make matters worse he knocked up some girl (also has a terrible temper and a part time job making min wage).
I have no actual friends despite what it may say on FB.
I find that I am alone 80% of the time and the other 20% is spent with my husband. Even when I am with my husband, family, ect I find that it is then that I feel most alone.
I am depressed, anxiety ridden, and hardly sleep(even though that is all that I want to do). I only leave the house to work, grocery shop, and go to the reservation.
What a pathetic excuse for a human being am I |
untitled story|
| Posted by anonymous at March 9, 2012 |
I'm 21 and I go to a really great school. The problem is that I have really bad depression and social anxiety, and my friends don't seem to get it. They boss me around, take advantage of my kindness and tell me that I am "toxic." Sometimes I can't help being sad. I try to hid it but its just who I am. So, basically I'm terribly lonely. Also, I'm perpetually single and can't seem to find anyone that wants to be with me or that I'd want to be with. Everytime I find a guy that I like, I try my hardest to pursue them but they either lead me on or are just plain uninterested. I'm not unattractive, in fact most of my friends think I'm very pretty. It sucks because I know I have a great personality, but when I'm around the opposite sex I clam up and literally cannot say anything witty or "cool." I've been skipping classes and sleeping alot. I'm worried about my mental health, I would transfer, but my grades aren't good enough. I don't know what to do, I'm at the end of my rope. |
| | Posted by TiredinNYC at February 28, 2012 |
It all started in August a few years ago, I was laying down, relaxing reading a book when I got my first major panic attack. At the time, I thought it was just a fluke or because I was hungry but it was the beginning of the end of my life as I knew it. Things became really hard. My mother (i was 21 at the time) urged me to ask our doctor for medication and I did which resulted in the worst experience of my life. I was in the ER 2 times that night and was utterly sick for 3 weeks after. I had a promising life. I had graduated college with honors and had many offers for jobs in the fashion industry. I tried to get my life back in order a year later and accepted a job at a prominent fashion house. I started out with a lot of steam but after a few weeks I felt the anxiety looming so I quit and became even worse of an agoraphobic than before. Then all of the obsessive thoughts began kicking in. scared of germs, scared to eat meat, scared to eat anything due to fear of contamination, health concerns etc. My list of friends began to dwindle as did my social life (I am lucky that my loyal boyfriend has stuck with me). Then I was diagnosed with cervical cancer and had to undergo surgery and the fear of possibly dying. My mother got lymphoma and my grandma and my dog died. My anxieties manifested into severe stomach problems which made me even more apprehensive about leaving the house. I started to really hate myself and still do. I feel like what is the sense in trying? I have tri... |
| | Posted by anonymous at February 28, 2012 |
Is it Generalized Anxiety Disorder? Is it depression? Is it Social Anxiety Disorder? Or is it that I just think too much?
I don’t know.
It’s been more than a year when I am afraid of almost everything I do. I’ve become so self-conscious that I think what I do is always wrong and I’m giving people a reason to laugh at me. It wasn’t the same a few years back. I did not experience such fear before like I do now. Now, I become afraid when I get up in the morning as to how my day will go in school- obviously bad, and then I think that I won’t do anything that would make people mock at me. Then I think what if my teachers scold me if I stand and roam around in the class or if I talk to my friends? Then I think that I can’t play any game and if I go in the ground, people are going to laugh at me. Then I wish to go somewhere and hide from the cruel world. But this is not all. I fear for my grades in school which are gradually getting worse. I fear thinking if I would lose my friends, if they would stop talking to me, if my parents stop talking to me, or go away from me. I want to learn sports and play, but I can’t because of the fear of being mocked at. I have bad mood swings. Sometimes I’m happy and cheerful and happy for no reason. But at the other times, I don’t want to talk to anyone; I don’t want anyone around me. I don’t like if my parents come to my room and talk to me, or if a friend calls me. I feel like closing my door, putting a lock, and throwing my cell p... |
| | Posted by chris at February 26, 2012 |
I'm Chris. In 2010 I was diagnosed with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder/Parvasive Developmental Disorder. I've got three best friends every day at school im in grade 8 they make me happy. :). I'm sure as of November 2011 that I have anxiety. It is definitely not as bad as it was last year. It only seemed to have started as winter came in. I never feel this depressed in summer. I'm anxious about Carbon Monoxide in school and this term it gradually affected my marks. I run a minecraft server that causes me a tiny bit more of responsibility needs etc. But here's my past life.....
I never had a father, he left. My mother dated 2 men who were not nice to her. They got into fights and it seemed endless! Up to 2008, everything became more happier for me. I'm very religious and I'm always afraid of going to hell.
Here's another little story that caused me stress.
Me and my friends applied to a high school. We had to do an entrance test. Unfortunately I failed it and was not accepted. My two other best friends were accepted and I wish with all my heart that all four of us could go. In the same position as me, my friend Mohammed. He was not accepted but yet he seemed to be the most academically successful. I cried for 2 hours about this. I learned the news of my non-acceptance at 11:30AM and I had to leave school because I was too sick to function properly after everything that happened to me. I waited so long for those results! I'm getting worried about 2012 end of the world theories etc. Now I have a wonderful life everything cleared up now but just a few obstacles in the way which will be overcame soon.
I know there are many other people with other problems but I feel upset as well. Sometimes I read other's life stories here. Please feel free to comment below.
-chris (and that's my story) but there's more which would take a while to write. Maybe ill write later. |
| | Posted by Harvey at February 19, 2012 |
I doubt anyone will read this or really care but it's all getting too much now. I'm 20 and in uni, I should be having the time of my life but i'm not. I have a few close friends but it doesn't feel like they understand, they nod and agree when I tell them i'm down or i'm having a tough time but it feels like they just see me as another "dramatic teenager". The truth is everyday is a struggle, I have social anxiety and depression, I really struggle with anything social out of my comfort zone, I prefer my own company but even that gets me down.
I just don't understand that if this is our only shot in life why would it be this hard? |
| | Posted by fakesmiles at February 19, 2012 |
I can't go to the mall, I've been off work because I couldn't handle it.. I've had anxiety for years.. But now it's like every attack is just worse, and worse. I'm going to go insane. Waiting for new meds to work.. they make me sooooo tired... :( |
| | Posted by beenthiswayallmylife at February 16, 2012 |
i have had anxiety and depression for 10 years. for the past five months its been worse than ever. i stay in my room even though i have a more loving family than anyone i have ever known. they have helped me through everything including taking me to doctors out of state, putting me in rehab facilities, and i have taken every medicine under the sun for anxiety, depression, bi-polar, schitzophrenia, etc. they hurt more than they deserve to over this and i cant stand putting them through this pain. but after all the attempts at finding something to fix this nothing has worked. so i feel hopeless. i dont believe in anything working anymore to relieve this pain. i wish my family didnt love me so much so i wouldnt feel so guilty. i love them more than anything and i suffer because of the pain i put them through. but i feel like the bad guy all the time because now they feel i am giving up because i wont go for more help. but what else is there that can possibly help? this is the worst pain and it is never ending. i feel tortured from the minute i wake up until the minute i go to sleep. i just need to get my thoughts out there to someone who will listen because talking to my family about it just hurts them more and i dont want to hurt them. i get angry at times too because they tell me i am giving up because i wont seek further help. but like i said i dont believe in the help anymore. anyone in a similar situation lke me? |
| | Posted by somewhere in california at February 16, 2012 |
well first of all i have BDD BODY DISMORPHIC DISORDER, due to childhood bullyng wich is another story that i suffered because of my appearance and i was poor, i feel loneley no freiends no one to talk to, no one to listewn to me in this cold world and just when i think everything in my life will be okay more problems come along ... i hate this cruel world and people who live in it, i had 2 car crashes where i couldve dies because my care was completley crushed and guess what i diddnt die second time i fliped over fell of the freeway my car was atotal loss im still here nothing happened to me why i dont know maybe GOD doesnt want me to leave yet ,or maybe just tryng to scare me since i want to suicide my self and attempted it,,im diagnosed with depression ,dont feel like going out or doing nothing.. life sucks..i feel so empty,,i hate talking to people even my own family its almos like social anxiety... |
| | Posted by anonymous at February 14, 2012 |
I loved him. He loved me. We were meant to be together. But then his visa ran out, and he was forced to move back to Australia. He was anticipating on renewing it, and was going to move back within the year. But he got a job, and then he got a promotion. His life was progressing. My life wasn't in motion, I was waiting on his return. I have always had depression, and have been taking antidepressants since I was 13 years old. But he was like a natural antidepressant, when I was with him I would forget my anxieties.
But yesterday, I got the worst news of my life.
He was going to be a father. He wouldn't be able to return.
I have never been this depressed before, and that is saying something.
He says that we can be together, but I will have to move there. I want to do that, but I wasn't anticipating that, and don't have the money.
Plus, I think it'd just break my heart even more being around him raising a baby that isn't mine.
I just don't know what to do. I don't want anything at all besides to be with him. I cannot get myself together.
I break down inside whenever I remember.
I need help. Again.
This depression is back, and is ever lasting, it seems. |
| | Posted by anonymous at February 12, 2012 |
Yup, I have a sucky life too!
Cant complain about my childhood or anything like that, but I have only had one friend in my entire life, and we quit seeing each other a couple of years ago.
Never had a girlfriend or ANY romantic/sexual experience whatsoever (unless you count family hugs) despite being 21 years old.
Worked for a while, then started studying only to discover that I can't function normally around people due to social anxiety.
After that, as if it wasn't bad enough, I got depressed and couldn't even get out of my bed for a while.
Since I was three, video games has always been the most fun there is, and now I'm staring to tire of them and there is nothing to take that place.
So I spend my days either sleeping/resting or sitting in front of the computer.
Now I am taking pills for the depression and they take away some of the emotional pain, but life is still very bland, and nothing is exciting.
I am absolutely sure i will never be able to get a satisfying social life, and the knowledge kills me inside day by day... |
| | Posted by Bee at February 9, 2012 |
I suffer from depression and anxiety, and there's no telling when my head is going to start screwing around with me and making me miserable on any given day. I lost my religion nine years ago, and life has been meaningless ever since. Don't tell me to get God back into my life, because I don't and can't believe in God. I just have to face the fact that life, in general, is completely pointless. As such, I don't understand why I am expected to tough it up and stick around when I don't feel like fighting misery anymore. Why can't I end it if I so choose? Why is that seen as such a selfish abomination? None of this, my life, my actions, anything that anyone ever does, none of it means anything or persists in the long run (and I mean LONG run). I'm just killing time, trying to outlast the bad times, until my day comes. I just hope I don't have to wait 60 years to see that day. |
| | Posted by anon at January 30, 2012 |
My grandfather has recently been diagnosed with alzhimers and my mother recently said she was glad to accept that he had 'died' in soul. I had never thought of it like that, so now i'm thinking about my reality. I keep wondering what the point of it all is, we lose our minds to ourselves, over thinking or otherwise. I mean the man has had 5 diffferent types of cancer, makes it through that and now he has a slow and painful death ahead of him where he will lose all his bodily functions and probably die confused like a child, after thinking hes being kept in a prison for months on end.
Also, nobody seems to understand that this is hard, and keeps shouting at me for trying to talk to them about it, when they are busy reading about the latest celebrity problem or sex problem.
Also, I have spots all over my face, an anxiety disorder and no money. having no money is a problem for me, but when it comes to my father not working or my younger sister that is okay. I think i get it from everyone about their emotional issues, they take it out on me without asking how I might be feeling.
Also, when I say this to anyone close they proceed to announce that their relative not only had cancer, but a leg missing and were blind too (okay, not quite but you get the point). My councilor is more interested in telling me other people's problems and ways to ignore my anxieties but the truth is, I CAN'T BE BOTHERED. What is the point when life picks off all the best ones either too young, or drags out a painful death for the old.
Also, there is a murder trial currently happening in which a person close to me was stabbed by another close to me. Reading the disgusting details in the news daily is not adding to my sense of well being in the world.
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