| | Posted by anonymous at December 30, 2011 |
hi there,
i am Cee, 22 years old, living in The Netherland bu i'm not dutch..
my parents r very religious people, like they pray 5 times a day everyday etc.
and i try to follow their footsteps, and be a good muslim too
now the most of u know that alcohol is taboe in islam, and i neverrrr drink. . .
till last weekend..
my friends beggeddd me to just try it once, i know i would say no usually cause they've tried it many times before and i always said no..
bu this time, i don't know what the fuck was wrong with me.. so i joined them for a few shots..
now thats the first time in my life i've drinked alcohol..
anyway, we had a great night and we decided that i'll drive cause i was the least drunk of the group..
heading to the highway, the F&#@%! police told me to pull over..
that was the limit for me.. wich confirmed how bad my life sucks..
so i was screwed, waiting and stressing for the mail to receive about the results.. 2 weeks long everyday hoping that i would see the mail first, cause if my parents would see it first and read about me drinking alcohol, that would be their DEAD.. no doubt about that..
so today i received the mail.. and guess what i got for drinking ONCE in my life. the highest fucking punishment u can receive here for drinking..
they took my license, i can't drive for 2 years plus i have to pay about 2000 euros for a course and motivationprograms. i can handle all that..
but here's the problem.. my parents r old and weak, i need to bring them to the mall or hospital almost everyday. how am i gonna tell them that i can't drive the next 2 years, cause i'm a miljon percent sure they will have a heart attack if they find out i've been drinking.. and they will find out cause i will receive the next 2 years a lot of mail about the course and progress.
sorry for my bad english, but it isn't as bad as my situation is, i guess..
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| | Posted by anonymous at December 10, 2011 |
Everything that has happened in my life is the result of something I've done, or haven't done.
I was a sober alcoholic for 10 years and wasn't taking care of staying well - I got lazy and eventually started drinking again. At the time, I "had it all"; a wonderful husband, great kids, a beautiful home, etc. I thought it was too much pressure to deal with managing - and decided to take the chicken shit approach and drank. Naturally I couldn't control it and it crashed down around me.
Eventually it was all taken away - the home, the kids, the husband... and I was left with me. Fortunately, I was able to get sober again and have been for five years; but life certainly isn't a bowl of cherries. I wasn't able to find work for nearly a year and debt piled up which I'm still trying to pay off. I have had a good, decent paying job for 2 years and am grateful to have it, but I'm always struggling to make ends meet.
Five dollars is a hell of a lot of money some days! My kids don't talk to me because of what I did; but I pay that child support every month because it's my responsibility. I haven't been on a vacation, a date or out to a nice dinner in five years and it's painful to look back at what I used to have vs. today. My ex has been in a relationship for 3 1/2 yrs now and currently is in Tahiti with his girlfriend.... Sometimes it really seems unfair, but I have no one to blame but myself for where I've wound up.
My hope is that one day; through doing what I'm supposed to do - no matter what - I can once again have the privilege of a nice home, a relationship with my kids and a nice guy to call my "fella". Until then, I guess I just get to struggle with the rest of mankind and maintain some HOPE. I'm grateful I can see my role in every single thing that has transpired in my life - because if it's everyone else's fault then I'm screwed because I can't change that. |
| | Posted by lost at December 7, 2011 |
Hi. My life has been really great, I have a seven year old girl a three year old boy and a great wife. Recently I got into a fight with my wife because I was drinking. I left in a rage and wrecked my vehicle also getting a DWI. I haven't gone to court yet, but will loose my liscense for one year and of course I have no vehicle. Thats not what sucks. My wife took the kids and moved in with her parents. She says she still loves me but is not helping me through these tough times, it's as though she is teaching me a lesson. Ever since I have been with her, 11 years, I have been treated like a child. I rarely make a decision on my own, I am not my own person. I have to bum rides to work and from work home. On nice days I walk home, (a one hour walk, good exercise), but I still need a ride to work. She said she will give me a ride once in a while. I am so alone and have been drinking every night to battle the depression. I am such a broken man that I feel soo much like giving up and starting over. I am so scared that it is not even funny. I am scared because I don't want to loose my family and I keep playing these mind games with myself that I have already lost them. Well, at least I have a job, my health. Maybe time will help. |
| | Posted by Justin at December 1, 2011 |
I grew up arround alcoholics. Family was very dysfunctional and dad was there and mom was here. Grew up with my mom who was drunk everyday bi.. about everything. /step dad bitc.. about everything money mostly and could barely pay for this and that and it just made me who i am today all the things i saw when i was young. It put too much pressure and caused me to be old even though im young. im 22 now. I live in thailand which probably sounds cool but its not that cool. I drink almost everyday i hate everything and i just cant get a grip. I have had 12 jobs in my life. I came here by the way cause my real dad was here and everybody thought it would be good for me to get out and do something with my life. So ok fine i came here and in the first couple of weeks i screwed everything up. I had relastions with my dads wife which is thai. So my dad beat me pretty bad on that night and than he took off casue apparently she said too him that she loved me. Omg!!! So i stayed 1 year and a half with her supporting her and whatever workin my a#@ off and not moving forward and living in shame everyday. Drinking myself to death. Then finally i got out and moved with a friend. Kept workin and than got my own place and im still here in thailand tryin to make it. barely making it by the way i had to do some pretty degrating things to make it. I hate my life cause it has been horrible and it just so hard is that what life is supposed to be hard like all the time. woory about this worry about... |
| | Posted by anonymous at November 23, 2011 |
I know i'm going to do nothing but make myself look bad..but..It's cheaper than therapy... Anyway, here we go. I'm 29 now.. I've been drinking around 7 beers a day for the last year or so now..weekends sometimes much, much more..I admit, I thought it wasn't a big deal at first..I grew up in a loving yet emotionally-detatched family, and beer has always been around me...started drinking when I turned 18 or so...because I was shy and insecure..it was never more than maybe a 12 pack a week..
That might still seem like a lot to some but, I think I really started to lose control after my girlfriend died 3 years ago...I really have never hurt so much in my life, and still do...Since she's been gone, I have completly lost all confidence in myself, I feel so lost without her..the funny thing is, towards the end..We drifted apart..We fought a lot..I never hit her or anything..but the truth is, most of my friends and family didn't think we were good for each other but it didn't matter..I Loved her..you see..she didn't have a family really..she had a fucked-up childhood..and her mom and dad both died when she was young..She always seemed so haunted..but she was Beautiful..
..I saw her in this hospital bed a day before she died with all these tubes going down her throat helping her breathe because she had no brain-activity.....I knew right there...I wasn't going to be able to handle seeing that..So..I talked about it with people..But, the hollowness I felt never... |
| | Posted by Jane Doe at October 29, 2011 |
I don't really know how to start this. So, I know people have had some petty messed up stuff happen to them, so I feel bad talking about my miniscule problems but I have to vent to someone. I grew up with an alcoholic father and sometimes alcoholic mother. I have been hit by my father multiple times with belt and with hand. I was almost punched by my dad when he was drunk but I ducked out of the way. I battled with depression for awhile because I didn't have any friends. I also had struggles with OCD but they are under control. I feel like I had separation anxiety and social problems. I want to get therapy but my parents won't let me. My parents always call me bad things and they are never proud of me. I can't do anything right. Nothing was keeping me on thus earth except my dream of becoming a detective, but my parents won't let me he one. they say I have to be a doctor or some high paying career. I don't care about money I just want to help people. I Have slowly developed anger issues as well. I feel like I seriously want to hurt people and I have before, lik my brother. He is the only one I Have left since I feel neglected. I am tearing up as I am writing this but I feel ashamed because my dad says crying is for babies. This is all I have to say.
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| Posted by enditallnow at September 23, 2011 |
I hate my job, hate my boss for being a cheap ass f- -ck who screws me at every turn. I'm over 40, fat and aside from my boyfriend of 17 years am completely friendless. Can't find another job because I have no college degree and I am on the verge of becoming a full-fledged alcoholic. How's that? |
| | Posted by Lala10 at September 1, 2011 |
I am a twenty seven yr old female, very out going, funny, attractive... So I'm told, and the cruelest hateful/hated bitch when I get wasted. I've lost my relationship and most of my friends and family over the last few years. Wtf do I do now? I don't fiend for alcohol or drink daily but when I do I black out and destroy people with words. I have no one to talk to now..... |
| | Posted by anonymous at August 29, 2011 |
I hate myself. My self esteem is medium but I simply just hate me. My parents are strict abusive Russian Orthodox but I live in Washington state. I'm moved to America when I was 10, I'm 14 and I'm an alcoholic and crackhead, and so are my parents. I have unlimited access to alcohol, money, and I always spend it on crack or meth, and my parents always have Everclear or vodka at the homes. I make my family cry and don't know why. I have only love 1 girl in the world, emotionally, and realized she was a manipulative and bad. She has a long history of sex/physical abuse, drug abuse and crime in her life and I loved her dearly but when she tell me her stories I realize that all people are scum including her and myself. Nobody cares about anyone in this world and all are secretly backstabbers and bad. I've lost 45 kilograms from the meth and my teachers see it and threaten me to tell rehab. I get in fights with people and I got stabbed last week. I will never have a wife or girl because I don't trust peoples. My principal says I'm so smart for any college but too lazy to do homework and my grades are bad and I will not graduate school. I don't know how life will be after this. I am horrible. |
| | Posted by TJ at May 12, 2011 |
Hi. I have mortgage, girlfriend and a decent enough job. Oh and I also drink myself into a mild coma whenever possible, not because I have some traumatic pain It's just fun, I have a small debt of £7000 which I can barely afford to pay and spending £5 a week to get blasted on cheap booze is the highlight of my week because when I wake up in the morning there is a good 10 seconds where it's all ok and that gives me the energy to carry on until next week.
If you have a home you aren't in danger of losing, you're doing ok. |
| | Posted by Loser at April 16, 2011 |
i did some bad things growing up.hung with losers,drug addicts an alcoholics(i am all these things too).could see my name in the paper at least 3x a yr. from 18-22.if i got caught for all the law breaking,id still be in the slam. |
| | Posted by Ellie at April 11, 2011 |
Too much shit happening so I'll sum it all up in a few sentences.
Dad and mom got divorced when I was like 2. Got back together when I was 5 and kind of dated for a while. Had my little sister then. Separated. Lived alone with my mom and sister till I was 12. Got married to a crack-addicted and alcoholic guy. Mom started going out late at night and so did he (they went out to different clubs alone). Stepdad would get home first before my mom and was a total drunken mess. And he's the kind that starts hitting people and throwing shit when he's drunk. Got abused by him while my mom was out clubbing and couldn't hear her phone. Finally, they got divorced and got kicked out of our house in a day. Literately had nowhere to go, so now we're living in a motel room with 1 bed and a couch. Been here for about 4 months now and we can't move into a house because we can't get a mortgage until we get our tax returns back for 2010. Yup. |
| | Posted by anonymous at March 31, 2011 |
I am a 36yo guy. I come from a good family, never abused, no fkd up childhood or anything. But i ended up partying alot as a kid and by the time i was 18 i was trying heroin and within a short period of time i was a junkie. I managed to support my habit for 10 years or so by stealing from my family mostly after i had lost everything i had. They were amazingly understanding and just wanted to see me get better as anyone would. Eventually they had no choice but to press charges because it was the only way to protect themselves. I spent 5 years in prison and it was the best thing that could have happened to me.I never touched it again after in was released in 2006. I was extremely excited about my future at this point...
Unfortunately i began drinking heavily and drank between a pint and a 5th of bourbon every night for the first year and a half i was out. But i was doing great, i had a good job, and apt and a g/f. But i had contracted hep-c as a result of my drug use and alcohol is like pouring gas on a fire when you have a liver disease. So eventually i was able to get off the booze...anyway, fast forward to now..
I am not a 36 yo man that is unemployed bc i got injured and could no longer work at construction. I don't know exactly how bad my heath really is, although considering ive had hep-c for about 10 years now and 3 of those years were literally spent drinking heavily and daily. So i imagine not good, i see physical signs of liver problems, but i ... |
| | Posted by anonymous at March 31, 2011 |
I am a 25 year old male, my future looks bleak at the moment. It didn't always feel this way. When I was 17 I met the girl of my dreams, had friends, thought I had great personality and I started working in marketing making decent money doing doing something I enjoyed. I started losing work a few years ago and had to take a bunch of shitty temp jobs. I felt like I had been getting screwed over by employer after employer, I had managers threaten me and belittle me constantly while I worked at these minimum wage jobs leaving little to no self confidence left inside. I was diagnosed with a tumor in my neck and shortly after that my girlfriend of 9 years left me. I couldn't control my anxiety and therefor couldn't keep a job, so now I live with my mother. I've had several manic depressive episodes in the time I've lived here. I go out drinking alone and when I try to talk to anybody I end up feeling like I've just made a fool out of myself. I've been drinking daily and can't see myself going anywhere. My waking thoughts are of putting a shotgun under my chin and pulling the trigger. |
| | Posted by Megs at March 15, 2011 |
So we all have our problems to face everyday, it sucks. So currently my problem is; my mother. Shes been an alcoholic for 8 years and I am sick of it. All i need is some advice on how to handle this situation, I have tried to talk to her, she won't listen or even remember what I say. I am starting to hate her for this even though she is my mother, she made a mess of my childhood, I don't recall a sober day since I was in second grade. I don't want my teen years to end this way I am currently 16, I would like to have a sober mother to whom I can share things and tell my problems to that would remember it the next day. She doesn't even know my age. My dad has been sober for two years now wich is great I just hope my mom will do so too before its too late. Her health is failing and her life is a huge mess. What should I do? |
| | Posted by Al at March 12, 2011 |
Im a 25 yr old alcoholic. Im single, lonely, miserable and i want to kill myself. I have burnt every bridge in my life, i have screwed everyone who every cared for me, and my life is a miserable hole of shit.
And the best part about it is i have no one to blame but myself.
I am a failure at everything... i have no self-confidence, i havent been laid in over 3 years, im broke, i have no friends, no hobbies, and no reason to even get out of bed in the morning.
Years of therapy, AA, anti-depressants, exercise, self-help programs and the like have done nothing but accentuate the face that im just fucked.
Fuck the world and everyone in it... i hate you all and i hope all the bad things in life happen to you.
Fuck my life |
| | Posted by Bridget at February 21, 2011 |
I'm 19 and had a baby in Nov 2010 with a guy I'd been dating for about 2 years.
I've always had a problem with him drinking, but I was trusting him completely yesterday and just asked him not to get drunk because he had to drive home. He drank behind my back and lied to me about it when I caught him red handed. He would've driven me and our 3 mo. old baby while drunk if I hadn't caught him. Then we get home and he gets completely wasted. We sleep for 3.5 hours and baby wakes up to be fed. I ask him if he could make a bottle while I change her, and he cusses me out and says "get the f..k out". When it's MY apartment where he's been living for 4 and a half mos. free of charge. I even buy the food and gas and get up every morning at five to make him breakfast and pack him a lunch and drive him to work then back.
So he peed the bed because he was so drunk. When i got back into the bedroom to feed the baby, i tell him how unhelpful he is sometimes and he flips out cussing again, accidentally elbows the baby in her head, and throws the urine soaked comforter on top of us. One thing led to another and he was throwing my phone and his wallet and hangers at me while i'm holding the baby, so i put her in her crib where she's safe and tell him that i'm calling the police if he doesn't leave. he refuses to leave so i called the police. they didn't arrest him because i asked them not to. (he has an extensive criminal record and this would've been a vop and landed him in prison for at LEAST 3 yrs)
So, he gets home and I apologized for some reason. And he goes on to tell me that he doesn't really love me and he's just gotten used to me being there. How could I not feel used? And on top of that, he took my puppy and won't give him back. |
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| Posted by js at February 9, 2011 |
I am a drug addict, an alcoholic and a crimmianl. I'm in a Clinic now, trying to get better but its hell in here and I'm sure I will never get better, I will kill myself soon with the stuff I can't stop taking. I've done glue, cocaine, drank daily, day and night, can never seem to be seeing straigt, half of my life is spent in bathroom throwing my stomach out, hurt everyone who's ever bothered to care about me: my parents, brother, guys who used to be close friends.. I've hurt them all and lost them all, I don't deserve to hurt them any more and I just need to get the fuck out of this place. I'm going to die by my sickness anyway. I can never stop my addiction. I'm already too damaged, irreparable. I might soon be kicked out of the Clinic because I trashed this guy who pissed me. |
| | Posted by busedkid at February 3, 2011 |
My dad sexually abused me from the age of 7 to 14. I saw him physically abuse my mom when I was about 8. He left my mom around the time I was 8 or 9 but I was shifted between the two of them until I was 14. He was a drunk and only abused me when he was drunk which was almost every night I was with him. I married at the age of 20 and experienced a life of my first born being sexually abused, after the fact, by his uncle and his mother. He turned out being a gay man, but my daughters only suffered the trauma of divorce. |
| | Posted by anonymous at January 30, 2011 |
I wrote on here before.
Things have not improved.. How could they? I feel shit as usual.
I feel like I have wasted what life and my parents gave me. I was and I still am healthy but for how long? I smoke 2 packs a day and drink 3 bottles of wine a week. I am a basically a walking cancer.. It's so gonna hit me, I know it.. yet I do nothing about it. After reading people's stories on here, people have been raped, have to go through serious genetic disease.. I was born healthy and wealthy (through my family)..yet I f**ed it all and it's too late to reverse the process. It's gonna end very tragically, I know it. People have damaged me, life has f**ed me big time. The only way out is death. |
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