| | Posted by Aurora at August 28, 2011 |
I was forced to make a change to hopefully save my children from abuse. I was verbally abused by husband, no money, forced to take care of children at home....I told myself the emotional terror was ok if I could create a loving home for them then I saw my five year old looking at his dad with fear when he was saying something crazy to me and I realized I had leave not stay for my kids sake. It was rough. I was on welfare for a few years getting my teaching certificate but the book TheVERBALLY ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP saved me. I started going to a good Methodist church because they are nit extreme and I slowly made friends and built a life. I read SEVEN HABITS OF EFFECTIVE PEOPLE and did all I could a little more at a time. I gained power over myself and worked at being happy. I still have challenges and my over all story with medical problems, big C, and depression of my child is as bad as anything you read here but what know is if you give in it stays the same! Help yourself, read self help books, dare to give your life up to the creator what it is and look for guidance. I had times when I was a Brat and wanted it the way I thought it should be. Now just being at peace and proud of doing a job that helps kids goes far toward being enough. Take control where you can .....that's how your ability to change yourself and your life grows!!! |
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| Posted by anonymous at August 28, 2011 |
I'm 24 all my life I've had physical abuse first from my mother .. She used to hit me till I bled ... Then she used to get a knife to me and threaten me .. She used to tell me that she will throw me under a bus.. Everything that was bad in her life is because of me..all this when I was only 6 or 7... My family hates me because I'm a girl.. Then my brother was born if he fell I was blamed I was hit.when we moved to a new country my dad began hitting me ... Strangling me..putting a pillow on my head so I would suffocate and die ... They both told me I'm useless I'm dumb ... I have nothing no money no degree one dead end job... My mother takes all my money for her debts ... I am sick of life ... My firt boyfriend in college my mother drove away... She would call him and say that I'm nothing and all I want is sex from him... Then my second serious boyfriend got me pregnant and I had to have an abortion ... He didn't even turn up and acted like as if it was nothing... I'm am so hurt ... I feel so alone and there is not one day that goes by that I dnt wish I was dead.. Why am I living... Just today my brother hit me and punched me .. Threw a chair at me... Then my mother blames me when I didnt even touch him. I hate my life I've isolated myself from everyone ... I can't even have a boyfriend because I don't want anyone to know how my family is... I wish I was never born.. |
| | Posted by Mywingsdontexsist at August 28, 2011 |
I have been on this Earth for 33 years. I have never really been happy. My dad told my mom that he didn't want be because I wasn't a boy. I have been molested too may times to count, raped, beat and told that I will never amount to shit buy many family members. My mom and dad divorced when I was 8, she remarried 5 months later to a man that she had been seeing for awhile. He liked to beat me. Then when I was 13 and my mom decided that she needed to go back to work, he decided it would be best if I played the part of "mom" when she wasn't around. From doing all the cooking and cleaning to getting up in the middle of the night when their new born child would cry. I also still had to get up and get 2 other children ready for school. Then he decided to rape and molest me. He told me that my mom would never believe me if I said anything to anyone. I decided to tell and he went to prison. MY MOM TOLD THE JUDGE THAT I SEDUCED HIM!!! She blames me to this day for sending him away. She let the state take me away and put me into foster care. The other children stayed with her. She visited him twice a month and never bothered to come see me. When he got out, she moved in with him and left my sister and 2 brothers with me. She never sent and money to help with anything. She was just worried about her. I had married at 18 to get my own place. He was in the Navy and was never around. Come to find out that he was sleeping with a bunch of other women. After 6 years of a messed up marriag... |
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| Posted by Indecisive at August 27, 2011 |
My life is shit all because I wanted to keep my bf now husband. We rushed it from the very beginning I got pregnant just a month into the relationship ship and we were married before we had known each other a year. When I first found out I was pregnant I was on my way to the clinic to get rid of it and my car all of suddenly break down so now I'm put in a position get my car fix or get rid of it. Me being gullible didn't realization that what I was gettin into. I call my HR and tell him what I found out and asked his opinion should I go get my car fix or ruin our 20's dimwit chose car. Now we have 2 kids 7 & 6 and my babies are great. I feel like I never made this choice I feel like I was fooled in this life I never wanted. I'm a very selfish cold hearted person who really enjoy my time ALONE!!! MY Husband is a some what good man he support his family and he pretty good with the kids he adore me and worship the ground I walk on its just at times I wish I can go back in time and say FUCK the car. I never went to college and my 10 year reunion is coming up and I feel like I wasted time pretending living this life I'm so confused and really indecisive |
| | Posted by Whatever... at August 27, 2011 |
Don't we all wish we were dead already. That bullshit about knowing you are going to die making you happy to be alive, is ridiculous. Life sucks, let's just die already. |
| | Posted by anonymous at August 27, 2011 |
I have to live every day watching the guy I'm in love with date my best friend. And the worst thing was that she KNEW how I felt about him before they were even going out. And now I feel like every time I see them together is a knife stabbing into my gut. But like SHE cares. So much for friendship. |
| | Posted by anonymous at August 27, 2011 |
I am a young, 18 year old studying in college. College has completely opened my mind and my logic; how I interact to others and how I talk to myself (thinking in my head).I have had a few crushes, which have made me go over the top; causing me to have severe depression, anorexia, and extreme physical activity every day. In my strange case of depression, liking someone, just liking someone, gave me feedback and motivation to do extreme cardio exercise everyday (run, bike, swim) and also starve myself to the brink of deteriorating my family ties. This happened in 9th and 10th grade
Now, with my mind opened, things are much clearer and have learned from my mistakes with eating and exercise. I am still very physically active, but very, very alone. I am in a college program, getting my associate's the same time I graduate from high school, 2 years ahead. I have recently texted a girl, and started flirting, but then noticed that I was the only one asking the questions...the texting and socializing has died off now...But in general, all my life, no one seems to understand me. Due to being alone and without someone to relate to, have had oscillations in my depression; periods of where I am fine, but not ecstatically happy, down to thinking of suicide in my mind. Suicide thoughts have made me say to myself in my head, 'will anyone really care about me when I die? Nobody gives a shit, NOBODY FUCKING UNDERSTANDS ME!'I still think that, with my mind being "open", it has shaped my... |
| | Posted by CQ at August 27, 2011 |
I am 30 years old.I had a dead end job ..got fired and cannot find work.i have seen one of my best friends get shot and killed by my other good friend on accident.my BEST friend just died at 28 back in april...my step dad which was like a father to me died cuz of drugs.i was engaged for 3 years she got pregnant and the baby ended up not being mine.i have anxiety issues so bad if i don't take my meds i feel like i am having a heart attack.I just wanted to post on this cuz alot of people have it rough and maybe i can relate to alot of these posts.i also got into coke really bad after my step dad died..luckily i been clean for 7 years...that is really one of the good things about my life..that and i have a supportive mother that lets me stay at her house cuz i can't find a job to save my life.Things usually get better in time for most people but i'm waiting for my life to get back on track..when i was 17 i had a full time job..a good job and had an app...now i am 30 no job living at home..i don't know just thought i'd share |
| | Posted by Onezenstar at August 27, 2011 |
So I've been dating this guy for 3 yrs. He cheated on me in Feb with this girl that was in town who lives in Albany, NY. He never cheated on anyone before so I gave him the benefit of the doubt and stayed. Here, a couple weeks ago I find out that hes leaving everything behind to move up there with her. Supposedly hes not going up there for "her" he wants to better himself and feels he can go no further in this town. What a crock of s#@t!I treated him like gold and this is how i get repayed! Feeling like I had my heart ripped out and set on fire. Tired of crying everyday. |
| | Posted by fucking_loser at August 27, 2011 |
21 year old, ugly guy. Short heighted, face looks like a world war battlefield, scarred and full of potholes due to a bad case of acne in the teenage. Never had a girlfriend, no chance of having one in the near future (atleast one who is better looking then me).
I have moderately severe depression, bipolar 2, mild attention deficit disorder, social anxiety, taking cipralex for over a year, over time tolerance develops to the drug and it stops working and i have to increase dose. Soon it will stop working altogether.
Parents in a dysfunctional marriage. Sister has mild mental retardation and personality disorder.
I have been bullied in the past. Hate my life. Will probably remain a virgin till 40, if only i dont go to a hooker before then.
Life is pathetic for the ugly geeks like me. Girls dont give us a second look, we're just an object of ridicule. And looks are something you are born with, and you cant change them. I hate those assholes who have the gift of good looks and enjoy their lives and pass time by making a mockery of people who are ugly.
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| Posted by Lori at August 26, 2011 |
Geez, just reading these stories makes me not feel so lonely after all. But the truth is, I am very lonely myself, I don't know how to reach out to people and feel that no one likes me. I am a 47 year old female, live in an apartment, I work, but like I said, I am very lonely. I am also depressed. I try to find things, etc, to get involved in, but I have no motivation to do anything. I want nothing to do with my birth family, they are all toxic and do me no good except to upset me. Christmas is the worst for me, I have no where to go and I dread it when it comes. All I want is to find friends to do things with and hang out with, laugh with etc. but I find the world so cold. I know how alot of people feel out there, but one thing I can't understand is this, in a world full of so many people, why are there so many lonely people in the world? |
| | Posted by anonymous at August 26, 2011 |
Just turned 44. Married 3 kids (that's the good news) Havn't had a paycheck in 6yrs.. Do odd jobs here and there but as a husband & father I'm not the provider in the family. My wife. & I hate it..!! At 16 I worked for a company and was told to work hard, stay with the company and move up. Reitre,get a gold watch ect..ect.. pipe dream..!!! Left the company after 18yrs...turned out to be a dead end job. I have no degree, no money ,no marketable skills & pretty soon I'll have no house. Don't know what I'm gonna do. If someone had told me 25yrs ago I'd be this broke, busted & disgusted I would have laughed in your face. I NEVER dreamed I'd end up like this..NEVER. Yup..It's offical This Life sucks.!! |
| | Posted by f0r3v3r-Al0n3 at August 26, 2011 |
Hiiiii.
So I'm kind of a socialble person. I Have alot of friends from cheeer, school and recently softball. I use to hang out with all of my friends from day to day. Then I kind of blocked them out and only hung out with my best friend. Its fun. I mean, I don't get bored wit her or anything. The thing is now all of my old frineds like her better and only wanna hang out with her. of corse shes gonna go with them. So now i'm stuck here forever alone. It's times like these that I wish I was close with my family, bu no. They all secretly hate me. |
| | Posted by Story at August 26, 2011 |
I dont want this to be a pitty partty. I do want to ask, what is worse? Having parents that couldnt do what's best for you and there fore you had no chiocead no chioce on what to is best for you? For many of you, your parents had no choice, but for many of us your parents choices were not the best for you... I've been fighting all my life to get a different life. Yet from family to people I want to trust, they end up proving me right and hurting me not only mentaly but emotionally , pgysically and monetarily too. I tried getting away, I've tried pushing him away... Yeat nothing works. I want to die yet I think about my two daufhters ... If it wasnt for them, I would have been dead a long time ago...what's funniest of all is,that he, who is suppose to be my pillar, is the reasom why I want to die...my kids are the only reason why I'm still alive... I realy worry about what they will say about my family. Otherwise...well, you know.
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| | Posted by L.J. at August 26, 2011 |
I am a 23 year old guy. I have had 3 jobs this year, I quit the first for one that paid more, the 2nd was too hard though so I got a third one that I will be starting next week. This one pays about the same as the 2nd but is easier and with a well known company. It usually doesn't take me more than a few weeks to get a job since I am in the programming field.
Ok so that's the end of all that's good in my life, here's everything else:
- I never had sex, kissed a girl, or was even friends with one
- Not only do I have no friends but haven't had one since elementary school
- I am not very bright, it is extremely hard for me to learn anything new, even basic things, my memory sucks
- I have a car but I can't drive
- I am ugly as hell:
- I have severe gynocomastia and no I'm not fat. Only my breasts and gut is. I diet a LOT and exercise daily but these areas do not decrease as they are caused by my body producing extra estrogen. I wear a sports bra at all times when outside to hide it
- I have huge keloid scars on my face, left shoulder and chest
- My arms are full of deep self mutilation scars that I got when I used to cut myself in high school. I don't do it anymore but have to wear long sleeves at all times to hide them (even in the summer and I sweat a lot).
- I have terrible acne/oily skin
- My penis is small again due to the extra estrogen my body produces (not that it matters, no one will see it anyway)
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| | Posted by anonymous at August 26, 2011 |
all my life i have felt deep down in my heart that i was called, if you will, to be something great. Every career move i have ever made i have managed to excell. However.... after excelling i always seem to hear the words "Ed, your work ethic is impecable. You are a fantastic employee, but..." FUCK!!! BUT!?! But what !!! we're gonna have to let you go." Fucking cut backs, over qualified, under qualified!!!! what the fuck? I went to college, graduated with high honors and i can't find a fucking job to save my fucking, miserable life. Thats just the fucking job status. After 16 years of giving 110% to my first marriage, my fucking wife gets arrested for dealing drugs, trafficking, distributing, child abuse, child endangerment, and a list as long as my arm. What the fuck? Rare, but i get full custudy of all four of our kids. I raise my kids assuming the roll of mom and dad, i have no choice but to quit my job. And yes it was one the I was excelling in. I'd been a local truck driver for 6 years at this point. Now i find the kids and i on welfare. FUCK!!! Now, nearly 8 years later the kids are grown and live on there own. We all have a great relationship untill i meet Sophia. After she had met all the kids and the majority of my family, she was in. Everyone loved her. They said she was the best thing to ever happen to me. Then... Ta Da... we get married. Suddenly the family hates her fucking guts, my kids are calling me talking all kinds of shit. Not just one of kids, but all... |
| | Posted by Degroz at August 26, 2011 |
Yes, I'm from Russia. Firstly, sorry for my bad english. I'm 24, working on distillery in security tring making some money(about 300$ month), now 5:52 am I'm on work trying not to fall asleep, drinking awful coffe and listening to stupid russian pop music... I'm bored off all that shit, I have couple of friend and we sometimes drinking beer or vodka(we are Russians after all). I have ps2, psp, pretty powerful pc and playing games, but I'm bored of them too. I just want to change anything but I dont know what... so I'm here thinking my life sucks(maybe not so much)
It's just my emotions, I don't know how to express everything I feel and always when I try to explain my feels with friends or family no one takes me seriously. I look like a happy man, its like a mask, I feel that something accumulates in me, like I near deadline... and hello from other dimension... |
| | Posted by Joe, just Joe. at August 25, 2011 |
So i don't know where to begin. Well, let's start early in my effing life.
So I used to be autistic. Not severely, but still sort of autistic. I was in a public school. Church of England school. Everyone thought I was wierd as I wasn't able to comprehend what people meant by what they were saying easily. I was happy with life then. I was a little kid. I loved the world.
When I was ten, I had practically fought off, yes, fought off autism. I still didn't have many friends cause people used to think I was wierd. I didn't like football either. I played other sports like baseball, swimming, and track running.
During the time I was 11, I was in a middle school. I managed to make some friends. They didn't quite understand me though. I didn't feel like they were true friends. I did really well in my SATs exams and went on to get straight As and sometimes Bs throughout the next two years.
I'm 14 now. And Im bored to hell, unpopular, and everyone always acts like an arsehole to me. Every guy that acts like a prick gets the fun, the good physical ability, the girls, the friends. And they are complete jackasses.
Now, my grades are dropping. I'm getting Ds and Cs no matter how long I study and how calm I try to stay in tests. I'm doing my GCSEs throughout 2 more years, and they stress me out. My parents think I can achieve good grades and get lots of qualifications just becuase they did, yet they think I have my head up my arse. Everyone... |
| | Posted by Lifeisover at August 25, 2011 |
I have prostatitis which started in August of 2010. Prostatitis is an infection of the prostate. The prostate which is a male sex organ is responsible for making ejaculation. And also has to do with getting an erection.
I have the infection for over 1 year now. My symptoms include low back pain, testicle pain, erection difficulty, loss of feeling during ejaculation ,
stabbing ejaculatory pains. occasionally I get chills ,fever and throwing up.
I have spent over $2,000 and still have nothing to show for it. By the way I have no insurance and can not work because I am in so much pain. So I had to burrow money from my grandma to even go to the doctor. At a rate of about $200 a month because she doesn't have much money. Didn't wanna do it but I'm in so much pain. I am on the verge of suicide now.
Also certain foods make the infection flare up and make it worse. spicy foods ,caffeine , milk , chocolate , peanut butter, fried foods, sugary foods. Basically any foods beside bland foods like dry cereal or plain ham sandwich make it worse.
My sex drive is dead. watching a porno is like watching the 6 O clock news for me. And I'm only 32 years old.
I have been to 3 urologists the fist one made it a hundred times worse by putting me on steroids. It lowered my immune system and caused the infection to spread. The first urologist decided he no longer wanted me coming back to his clinic after that. He basically made me worse t... |
| | Posted by TantalusExperience at August 25, 2011 |
Hi, I'm 21 years old, and in my last year of college. I'm also married and a father, and my wife and I are getting a divorce. Our daughter is just over one year old. I feel guilty, but I know that staying with my wife (20 years old, currently studying to be what I suppose you'd call a stay at home nanny or a govenement payed babysitter). Life has never been easy, but I'll tell here only what directly pertains to the current situation.
My wife and I are opposites in almost every way. I think one could say that we differ in everything but the determination that our way is the right one, she's right and I'm wrong and vice versa. All her life she's been kept on a short lease by her parents, who are best described as orthodox evangelical christians, people who do everything and anything in the name of the Lord and don't give a rat's ass about how that makes other people feel. My wife's more or less the same, though not everything's in the name of the Lord, she doesn't give a crap about how I feel. She admittedly knows she only believes it and behaves like it because that was what she was taught, but that's no reasen for her to rethink and adjust.
See, here's the thing, I'm a rather independent thinker, studying every single religion, of not for spiritual, then for cultural significance, trying to find some truth, studying the etymology, as it were, of biblical texts, the Qur'an, gnostic scripture, the Mahabbaratha (I do hope I spelled that correctly),and so ... |
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