Well all my life have been abused physically and mentally by my dad, although i do love my mother she just backs him up most of the time because i believe she is afraid of his abuse. So the abuse pretty much marked my childhood and teenage years. Made me really withdrawn and just a loner pretty much. the relationships i've had with women have all ended with me being cheated on. I hate my family minus my mother, she's about the only one i can talk to. The childhood and teenage years of abuse pretty much caused me to turn to drugs and alcohol, got a dui and some other drug charges that will stick with me for life. I told myself things cant get worst and quit the drugs and alcohol which was very hard with the situation i was in. Then at the beginning of this year my dickweed brother got in a fight with me and broke my wrist, also had 250 cash stolen from my wallet at the hospital which was nver recovered. So i told myself it doesn't get any worst than this, but on the way home i ended up hitting a deer minor damage to the car but about 1000 dollars to fix it. Then few weeks later on the way to work got ran off the road by another car and ended up rolling my own car, yet i got ticketed for not maintaining lane control(fucking piglet) totaled the car, insurance covered most but it went to the bank for the loan i had on it. Got a rental car for 30 days from the insurance. Didn't have it a week and and another car hit and run, so i didn't want to make another insurance claim so im going to pay for the damages myself because there minor and my insurance deductible is 500 dollars so for another five hundred the damn thing could be fixed. So yea right now stuck without a car and im hoping and praying things don't get worst but as they say history does repeat itself. Well thanks for listening.
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It isn't fair that you have an abusive dad. Abuse makes us feel worthless, sub-human, and can probably directly correlate with why you have low self-esteem. Money sounds tight, but if you could find a reasonable therapist that you like, I would bet dollars that it would help. All the anger and frustration you must feel for your dad- is justified. More than likely, his father abused him, and so the cycle of abuse continues. It is really important that you stop this cycle. The only way that I know of to cure deep seeded issues such as yours is through therapy... When a chain of shitty events happens, like in your case, we feel like we're being targeted by the universe- "WHY ME?" and I have no answer for you- except, that you have to roll with the punches... It all depends on you. Only YOU have the power to change your situation and outlook on life. My advice- take your mum and find a safe place to live. Get out from under your dad's control and abuse. Between you and your mum, you can live in peace. Be strong, get up, go to work, take care of yourself, take care of your mum. Life will improve, for anything, because you are no longer having to suffer from being mentally and physically hurt by your father...
I wish you luck Justin- and I am so sorry for all the hurt that you have suffered...
Cursed
Thanks-
Cursed
I have been in a similar situation. The beatings I received from my father were brutal. He didn’t care that I was a girl in fact he beat me harder than my brothers. My brothers didn’t like me either so I could only talk to my mother. When I finally had enough I decided to leave my house. I sold everything I could and threw the rest away. I wanted my mother to come with me, I even asked my brothers to come, but they didn’t want to. They chose to live that way so there was little I could do. I moved as far away as I possible could and it wasn’t easy. I got mugged many times my job and apartment are shit but I’ve never been happier. It hurts a lot less when it's someone else who is hurting you then when it’s your own blood.
things are slowly starting to get better. I do miss my family but they made their decision and I made mine.
Good luck Justin
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