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Life as a gay sucks

Posted by sad at April 27, 2012
Tags: 2012 April  Sexuality

I am so unfortunate. I didn't choose to be born as a gay. Yet, I have to suffer through the consequences. No one really knows who I am... who I am deep inside. No one. Not even single one. I am alone. I cannot be who I am. I feel dead inside everyday. I feel purposeless.
Sexual minorities are more unfortunate than many other disadvantaged groups. Sexuality forms a big part of who I am and if I constantly need to hide this part of myself, then I cannot truly grow as a person. I am very sad. I have been meeting with a counsellor but he sucks. He too is gay but he really doesn't know what he is doing. All he does is trying to make me feel good, but I am not interested in someone trying to make me feel good. Rather, I want someone who can give me directions, a guidance that have practical usage in this world.
Life is hard. But life is even harder for a sexual minority. But people, the heterosexual people, just don't fully and truly understand or realize this, and they never will. I am very sad. My life is very unfortunate. I wish I was never born in the first place. I am 23 and this is one big thing that is and has been holding me back greatly.
I want to have friends. I want to be myself. I just want to be my free self. But I can't. I have been hiding myself for too long... I have been repressing myself for so long that now it's automatic. It's as if it has become deeply embedded as part of my personality. This is not who I was meant to be. No. Not this... Why.....


Votes:


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New Comment

Comments:
By anonymous at 27,Apr,12 10:37

You should try online dating, you can always have a new start with someone new that you meet. i know your afraid of coming out, but it's the 21th century things have changed a bit. I come from a small town so i know the stigma of coming out, not personally because im not gay. Theres nothing wrong with it though, it's part of who you are, you should embrace and move forward with your future whether it be with a partner or by yourself.


By anonymous at 27,Apr,12 12:00

only God can really judge... acce


By at 27,Apr,12 13:07

aids kills fags dead.......................


By Cursed at 27,Apr,12 13:19

Dear Sad-
From reading your post my advice would be to come out of the proverbial closet. The longer you hold out, the more unhappy you will become. The poster above is absolutely correct. Gay/Lesbian has become mainstream- So stop torturing yourself with your "gay" secret, because in reality, they probably wont care.... At least they shouldn't. And if they do, then who needs them as friends anyway? What does your therapist say to do? Or better yet, find another therapist that you do click with, as there are plenty of em out there!
Good luck,
Cursed


By at 27,Apr,12 14:33

I was really having this problem of not having friends,i always go upset whenever i go out,nobody like to talk to me but my younger sister was always by me and she feel very upset by me not having friends,on a day she vaod that she will do anything to get me away from the mess,i was so surprise when she brought this messiah healer which really changed my life,everything just changed after this contact freemercytemple@yahoo.com ,he prepare some concussion for me which i used and it really changed my life,i am always happy now. My sister really did the best for me and i am happy

he can help you.


By at 27,Apr,12 14:47

I CANT WAIT TO MEET YOU, PLEASE, KEEP GOING TO THE GLORY HOLES


By anonymous at 27,Apr,12 16:02

You, yourself is the only one keeping you from being happy. Here is a couple of quotes, think on it.

“Whatever you fight, you strengthen, and what you resist, persists.”

“The primary cause of unhappiness is never the situation but your thoughts about it.”

I hope this can help you.
From a straight hetero person.


By anonymous at 27,Apr,12 18:09

i know how you feel i am also gay and a few years younger for a long time i tried to hide it since my parents would hate i also thought that others would aslo hate me i felt like shit and i hated being alive everday it felt like nothing was worth living for so one day i decided to end it all just as i was about to end it all i felt extreamly angry i was mad at my parents and at everyone else and then i thought why should i have to die because others dont like me i walked up to my parents and told them i was gya and if they had a problem with it that sucked when i got to school i stood infront of my friends and told them i was gay and i didnt give a fuck if they disliked it
i lost many friends but a lot of them didnt care that i was gay and they treat me the same i feel better about myself i'm glad i did what i did
good luck


By at 28,Apr,12 05:46

Sup, fag? What is there to complain about? Your cock that measures around only 10 cm? That must be sooo awful. How can someone the size of a midget's dick get a super hot boyfriend? But atleast you have some liquor in the wine cellar get em and drink yourself to inebriation every fucken day so you don't sweat too much over it any more. Then smoke grass.
Bottomline is; Just enjoy life, suck more cock, and munch more ass you fudge packin' douche bag!


By anonymous at 28,Apr,12 07:03

Sometimes I wish I were gay so I wouldn't have to worry about being with someone who wanted to have kids. It's a godsend.


By anonymous at 28,Apr,12 11:04

Being homosexual/bi-sexual is no longer a big thing within society, it is socially acceptable. Yes, it can be hard for family & friends to come to terms with initially, but people get over it, it can just take time sometimes. You sound like you need time to accept it yourself. Try not to dwell on it, just continue to live life and focus on being happy. In time, you will grow comfortable within your own skin.


By anonymous at 28,Apr,12 11:51

So you like cock, most people could care less. Get out of the closet, go to the gay turf. Be accepted by your own.


By anonymous at 29,Apr,12 01:17

You suck dick so who cares. You just like a Bitch too, coming here crying and shit. Do your ass bleed every month.


By anonymous at 17,Jun,12 15:43

So.This is hard.Lifes hard.It us so stupid that people do understand that it doesnt matter if you're homosexual.They say its not normal to be gay just becuz they arent.People are mean and you always have to fight to be accepted.Remember one thing.Never give up,be strong and brave,fight for your believings and be proud of what you are.Im proud of you.And I support you.I love you even though i dont know you.


By anonymous at 03,Aug,12 03:27

HAVE A SHITTY LIFE U FUCKING HOMO GO DO THE WORLD A FAVOR AND KILL UR SELF AND OTHER GAUS U KNOW U GAYS ARE NOT ACCEPTED IN ANY RELIGION OR ANY PLACE IN THE WORLD


By Indred Cold at 01,Sep,12 19:05

Dear Sad,
I also think you should come out of the closet. I had the exact same problem you are having. You are still young, 23 years old, that's not that bad Dude. There are people that stayed in the closet their whole life. Come out and you will be set free. Hopefully your family will accept you for who you are, it may take some time, but once you come out it can only get better & better. And if some people don't like you, they weren't really your friend any way. Your TRUE friends will love you for who you are. And you might end up with a whole new set of friends. It will be a HUGE weight off your shoulders. You did not choose to be gay. You were born that way. There is no reason you should have to hide your sexuality. Be proud of who you are, and I wish you the best of luck whatever you do.


By anonymous at 02,Sep,12 00:10

and my final comment to all you dirtbags who harassed me is FUCK YOU ASSHOLES.


By anonymous at 30,Jan,13 07:25

You are only 23 years old and making a huge mistake by constantly worrying about being unloved and lonely. You should be celebrating the fact that you are young and do the things that make you happy that do not involve sexual attraction or having an intimate partner. Visit older family members like grandaunts and grandmas who have not treated you bad and do things for them. They will be gone sooner than you realize. Go see your favorite artists perform live even if you go alone before those artists retire or die or lose their fame. Do things for people with mental retardation or severe physical disabilities and maybe some good luck will come your way. Do things to uplift hurting, older, isolated, single,low-income women who you are NOT attracted to.

You are making a horrendous mistake by dwelling about not having an intimate partner who you can identify with who will love you intensely.

In 23 years you will be 46 years old and will wish you had did good things for people who you did not really notice, care about, pay attention to, or even looked down on when you were 23 but you will think about these people later in life. Many of them will be dead by the time you are 46 so be a part of their lives now and do something for them that aids them or makes them happy or makes their unfortunate lives bearable. When you are 46 you will regret wasting your thoughts on how lonely you were at 23 and will have wished you got out there and did something memorable in your younger years even if it meant working at a dead end job that you will end up having good memories about later in life. If you live in a large city there is probably someone not 10 miles away from you who is hurting bad about something.

You need to immediately get away from any person who causes you grief or distress and forget about being loved by people who do not care about you and never will. Get out there and work or do something for a hurting person so you have good memories instead of regrets at age 46 about how you wasted your time and thoughts over being isolated and depressed when you were 23 and were a young person.

You probably do not feel loved or wanted by people who you find attractive. Those people are going to look like total crap to you in 10-20 years and make you feel disgust... forget about them. Do not worry about this and instead work at a job, pursue your interests that do not involve intimacy, and help weak, broken people especially isolated, old women with little money and no support system or young people with terrible disabilities.

The people you do not pay attention to now will be the ones you remember later in life and the assholes and loneliness you encounter now will be what you will have wished you never wasted your time or your mental thoughts on at age 46.

As far as hiding your sexuality, it is harmful to waste energy denying or hiding what you are or to feel conflict about what you are attracted to, yet if there is no gainful reason for someone to know your sexuality then there is no reason to broadcast it. You are too depressed to deal with coming out at this time. The high schools of today are full of buried teens who committed suicide by being told to come out when they were not ready to. The same people who told those teens and young people to come out did nothing for those teens when life became so bad that they chose to commit suicide.

No misery lasts forever. The trick is to not make mistakes or harmful choices because of a miserable state and to enjoy the good things you do have at the moment before they are gone and you do have good things and good people in your life but you have to make an effort identify them.

You are lonely and at age 23 it is not typical but by age 46 everyone both gay and straight will have gone through it and there is no shame in it by age 46 but you cannot waste your young years worrying about being lonely. Get out there and do something or help someone who actually really needs it. The person who needs your help is probably not too far away from where you live or is even in your own family.


By anonymous at 03,Jun,13 09:33

U gay ppl constantly accuse everybody of being homophobic. In actuality its u who are scared to reveal ur true selves. Straight ppl are NOT HOMOPHOBIC. We're not afraid of gays/lsesbians/bisexuals. Speaking for myself. What I hate is that you all will blame others for ur own fears of coming out the closet which really has nothing to do with straight people. U say thay ur a minority. What do u mean by that? What is it about u that makes u unable to have friends?


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