LIFE SUCKS

It's Never Enough

I left the military to finish school, but ultimately to be with a woman who was also an officer in the military.When I got out we got married. Things were up and down and alot of pressure was on me to finish early, so I could get into gradschool, ultimately on a paid scholarship through the military.

When it started looking like I may not get in and put all my eggs in one basket, she started cheating on me. I actually caught her red handed, but in the midst of it I had to break the law, I also got my ass beat in the process. Then i didn't get into the program. I cant really report her, or they'd probly prosecute me which would make it difficult to get a good government job back. It also makes my part in negotiating the divorce really weak, but regardless I dont want a divorce.

Here I am trying to finish 33 hours of college in one semester but I can't focus because I'm trying to win my wife back, I'm giving everything I can to make it work between us and her idea of trying is not seeing the guy, who is still trying to pursue her. She works with him and she cant really change jobs so she's always there. I seriously contemplated killing myself multiple times through this semester. Some times I just wish I had been killed overseas.

I took the idea of this marriage really seriously, and even though she treats me like shit I cant imagine life without her. I watch things like The Secret, and have been aware that it works but it doesnt seem to be in this case, I keep trying but I feel like I"m just banging my head against a wall. I'm writing this to hopefully dumb the negative energy.