I will be turning 40 in a few weeks, graduating from college in May and I have been married for 14 years. I have very few friends and it has always been that way. My husband and I differ in age by 7 years. Was pregnant at age 17 and had to abort because of complications thereafter was never able to have children because of endometriosis eventually had to undergo a complete hysterectomy.
My life has been full of disappointments and failures. I never graduated high school, was bullied in high school, and lost a fiancee' to carbon minoxide poisoning a few years prior to meeting my husband.
Now when I should be feeling proud and happy in my life for getting my GED 2010, and going to college and making a 3.75 GPA graduating with honors in May I feel unhappy and down and don't know why.
My brother and I are 10 years apart and I almost lost him in 2008 when he decided to end it all and jump off a building. He obviously survived but now he is handicapped. During that dark period I flew home to be with my brother and was staying with my Mom and her creepy boyfriend wrote me a creepy note saying he was in love with me and wanted to make love to me. I freaked out and showed the letter to my mom and flew back home! My mom did nothing and stayed with the creep. I'm still not over that situation and was never really able to heal from my brothers suicide attempt.
I just feel destined to feel unhappy! Turning 40 is making maters any better! I know that in order to be happy I need to change my attitude and most days I put on my happy face and move forward but lately it is getting tougher for me to do so! | |
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