I was a very bright kid, everybody said I will be famous or somebody important when I grow up. I had a great dad and an emotionally distant mother. My parents were fighting eachother all the time. In those moments I felt like somebody was stabbing me with a knife. Maybe that's why I never had a steady relationship. I was also very embarrassed of my family because we were dirt poor. Nevertheless I was a happy child. In highschool I started to get anxious and was diagnosed with IBS. At first I ignored the problem, but later things just got worse... I developed a depression and dropped out of college. Last ten years I'm like a vegetable just sitting and watching my life go to waste. Now I'm 30, fat, diabetic and unemployed. My diabetes is untreated so I can expect to go blind, have a stroke or a kidney failure any time soon. I don't even have health insurance so I'm screwed. I'm seriously thinking about suicide almost every day for the past five years. I tried to seek God, but he's not listening or simply doesn't exist. In the following week I will buy hollow point bulllets and blow my brains out with a homemade gun. I don't want to die but I don't see any point in living anymore. I'm disappointed with everything. My life is over. It's kind of a relief. | |
I don't have answers, hell I'm posting here too, but please don't kill yourself. I've read some news that certain diets do work for diabetic people to avoid going blind. Search the internet I guess in diabetic forums, about free ways to stay healthy. Try fixing the tangibe problems first and then go for the GOd and emotions one, maybe along the line a solution will be clear, just don't give up without a fight. You sound as lost as I feel
You are welcome
During the middle for February my long time on again off again girlfriend broke up with me. She had some major problems going on in her life at the time and I was receiving some of the blame for them and she just felt it would be better if we were not together. And in typical fashion she handled the break up poorly and completely ignored me as she always did during prior break ups. I also had 2 recent deaths in my family (1 happened before we broke up and the other happened about 2 months later). So I had a lot of stress going on in my life. I hired Seductive Spells around the middle of February; they had a money back guarantee which made me feel that they must be good at what they do. So I went into this thinking that I would have my ex back in about 4 weeks. Well as time dragged on I started to feel as if this was not going to work at all. During all of this she moved, her phone number was disconnected and I thought this was over for good. In fact I decided that I had better get used to being single again and I tried to forget about her. I started hanging out with my friends more, I even wrote to Ehis requesting my money back. Ehis told me that she felt that this would work, that I had to remain positive and she felt that things would turn around. Throughout all of this Ehis always would amazingly get back to me quickly when I would send her an e-mail, usually within a few hours of the email being sent. As I had been pretty negative about this throughout most of the last 4 weeks I decided to follow her advice and let them continue casting for me. I completely tried to put my ex out of my mind as best I could and kept myself pretty busy, something that I had not done much of since we had broken up. Memorial Day night she called me and told me that she wanted us back together, that she missed me a lot, and that I had to let her know right then and there as we were on the phone if we were going to get back together. I was shocked, each time we did get back together before it was always me that made the 1st move; never had she made the 1st move. We have seen each other almost every night since then and things are getting back to where they used to be. I have to tell you it’s still really hard to believe. She is pretty nervous talking around me sometimes since we have gotten back together and I notice that she is trying to be careful not to say or do the wrong things this is the email:ehisalextemple@gmail.com
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