He broke up with me less than a week after Valentine's, and I was devastated - he literally went from "nothing's going to change my love for you" to "i don't feel it anymore" in 2 days. I've asked him a million times why and he said he didn't know. Now, two months later, he's moved on and in the process of flirting with every girl possible - he's happy and free - but i'm the one who's still in chains and dying inside every time i think of him or when someone talks about him. We barely talk but just recently he sent me a youtube video through Skype describing the stages of a relationship (which strangely was almost the same as what we went through) and I couldn't control it and went all emotional on him. I told him that he really fucked me up and that I missed him so much, and he just ignored me...which made it all the more worse. Later I apologized and tried to sustain at least a normal conversation with him, and he just ignored me as usual. I'm dying, i'm not the person I was before. I miss him so much and it hurts to know that we'll never be together again...it hurts to know that he's interested in someone else and that i'm nothing to him now. And it doesn't help either when all my other friends are in relationships and I'm as lonely as ever. There's no one to talk to about it, nobody understands how painful this is. They all tell me to pick myself up and move on - which i'd love to - but I can't, I'm in chains and it hurts so much. I wish things were the same as before... | |
You just gotta move on... It's more than "hard" when your the dumpee not the "dumper". Here's some advice, since I've mostly been the one- DUMPED. Make yourself some signs- post them everywhere. They should read: DO NOT CALL HIM- HE HATES YOU! HE WILL ONLY CONTINUE TO HURT YOU! HE DOES NOT CARE! Which is all true. I'm sorry dear, it's just the way it is... So, tape these signs around your house. Next, take your phone and get rid of his number. IT IS REALLY IMPORTANT THAT YOU STOP ALL COMMUNICATION WITH HIM!!!! I can't stress this enough. The more you call, the more he knows that you are spineless, groveling, and he can get you back at the drop of a hat!!!
Make up a routine. STAY BUSY. AGAIN- DO NOT CONTACT HIM!!! Once the ringer is silent and the emails have vanished- then he will take note... If you continue to hound him, it will only make you become more obsessive- and he will become more reclusive. Go out and do things that make you happy. Go for a jog, hang with your "GIRLFRIENDS", buy yourself a new outfit. Go out. Don't hang around the house- you'll just get more depressed. When you feel strong, find a new boyfriend- or not. But you've got to shut off your feelings for him. Period. Otherwise, he will just continue to hurt you, have no respect for you, and crush your heart even further (if that's possible).
Another option- and it helped me with a crushing breakup- take an anti-depressant. Go to your doctor, they will prescribe you something, take it, and believe me, the pain stops almost immediately. It quiets your brain. You're not OBSESSING, CRYING, SLEEPING, CRYING, all the time anymore... It's a wonderful thing! Then, when the hard time is over- you can gradually ween yourself off the meds. Anyway- been where you are right now- and YES it does suck... Good luck sweetie--
Be strong!
Cursed
I know how you feel...becz I have been going through the same...I got cheated this V Day..and then he said he wants to move on and my tears didn make sense to him...The guy who could turn the world if a tear fell of my eyes..suddenly changed to.."I don't care anymore"....sweets... I know everyone will tell us to move on...to not to cry...to not call him up...to forget him....and soon we'll be tired of hearing it....but none of it would help..no??
I used to cry a lot...m still an emotional mess...but then I thought...NO...am only torturing myself..the git doesn't even care...why m I punishing myself for something am not even responsible for...am not being fair to myself by being sad...the fact that am born is an evidence that god wants me to learn lessons from the bad times and smile...to love myself...to celebrate life...if someone didn't celebrate it with me...its his loss...he is the one missing the party!! Yes the party...the celebration...something I deserve to have in each moment of my life...cz of the fact that am alive and am a beautiful girl...just like you!!
I dunno if anything am saying makes sense to you...but really he should be the one regretting...that he lost you...and you are actually a happy single girl...who can eat what she wants to...shop as she wants to...go 2 spa...hang with her gfs....chat and gossip...and wont have to report all thz 2 a guy...she can flirt without feeling the guilt of cheating on someone...she can dress up just the way she likes in her fav colour...and wont have to bother about how he will find her...b happy girl...keep smiling!
Smiles,
Hope
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