Save Your Relationship
No Matter How Bad
Your Situation Appears

Stop Anxiety
and panic attacks

How to overcome
your powerty demons

Get Paid For
Using Social Sites!

LIFE SUCKS

Stories submitted by real people.

[Tell Your Story]

Categories:

Abuse  Addictions  Alcohol  Anger  Anxiety  Appearance  Attitude  Bad Luck  Childhood  Crime  Death  Disappointment  Drinking  Drugs  Environment  Failure  Family  Friendship  General  Health  Independent circumstances  Job  Justice  Juvenile problems  Life Story  Loneliness  Meaninglessness  Mistakes  Money  Philosophical  Poverty  Prank  Racial  Relationship  Religion  Reputation  School  Sexuality  Society  Sociopathy  Stepdad  Stepmom  Stress  Tragic Events  Unemployment  Violence  


Archive by Month:
July 2012
2012 June
2012 May
2012 April
2012 March
2012 February
2012 January
2011 December
2011 November
2011 October
2011 September
2011 August
2011 July
2011 June
2011 May
2011 April
2011 March
2011 February
2011 January
2010 December
2010 November
2010 October
2010 September
2010 August
2010 July
2010 June
2010 May
2010 April
2010 March
2010 February
January 2010
December 2009
November 2009
October 2009
September 2009
August 2009
July 2009
June 2009
May 2009
April 2009
March 2009
February 2009
January 2009
November 2008
October 2008
September 2008
May 2008
February 2008
January 2008


Ads:

everything

Posted by skye at April 15, 2012
Tags: 2012 April  Family

I would rather be honest than phony, so here goes. Its me, boyfriend and our three kids. everything seems to stress me out. i love my three kids BUT have a huge disconnect with my twins. its hard to explain cuz probably no one understands, but u know how u had that one true best friend and the really whole heartedly screwed u over once, maybe more and then ur just like, screw it and stop being there friend because u know a real friend shouldnt do that. WELL, thats how my twins make me feel. I have let them f**k me over so many times. everytime i reassure myself that it will get better the next time. they always get into stuff, constantly. i gave them the benefit of the doubt because little kids do get into things and do ruin things, but they will be five and still r doing this. i dont know how to reconnect when they have pushed me so far away from them. i feel like i dont want to communicate with them ever, at all. and i dont know what to do. one on one time basnt worked cuz like i said they have pushed me so far away that i just dont want one on one time.i know, i guess i am a bad mom for saying all that( then to top that off i feel worthless, like right now when me and my bf fight. i understand he works hard six days a week, and that i only go to school five days a week for 5 hrs each day and that i take kids to school and pick them up and grocery shop and clean and laundry and make every financial decision. he gets mad that i get mad that he comes home from work and plays playstation until midnight. " because he had a long day at work" disregarding what i do because he says its not i job. i just want him to do some of these things with me. stressed


Votes:


New Comment

Comments:
By anonymous at 14,Apr,12 21:18

Your job as a parent isn't to be your kids' friend. It's to provide a stable home, a role model and the love they need to thrive. Worry less about "connecting" with them and focus on meeting their needs for structure and discipline. Set boundaries and enforce them. It sounds like they're running the household. You're the adult here. You create rules that make the household work. It's up to you to enforce them. By doing this, you're preparing them for the future. They need to learn discipline and self-control. It's your responsibility as the parent to teach them this.


By anon at 15,Apr,12 02:50

Seriously? I want to feel bad for you but I don't. Not at all.

Your twins are four years old, they are going to do things you do not like. They're children. Some kids are "good" and want to please their parents while others thrive off of "bad" attention - but if you are not "laying down the law" and being an authority figure, instead of a friend, do not expect shit to change. Venting via internet is not going to change how your children act, parenting classes will. It is also horrible that you say your children "f*ck you over". You're blaming them for your problems when, in reality, you're creating them. I agree with anonymous, step up and be a mother.


By anonymous at 15,Apr,12 05:31

I agree somewhat with the two opinions above.

I feel for you though! You're a mother, and depression is clouding your thoughts. You're blaming 4 year olds, for something they can't possible have any control over.

You need to identify where your real problems lie. Find some quiet time, palm the kids off someone else, and get yourself in a place where you can talk to yourself.

Make a nice hot drink, and sit in a compfy chair and ask yourself, Why am I blaming 4 year olds for the mess I'M in?

.....YOU'RE BLAMING 4 YEAR OLDS.....

I haven't walked in your shoes, but I'd put good money on 'your problems being your own making' and not your kids.

Your kids NEED their mum. Now become their mum, they deserve it.


Paul


By ? at 15,Apr,12 06:11

It is normal to feel that; granted to what others say. Being a mom is hard enough, and having twin is double the work, however i don't think it is the twins that you are really angry at...because you not just being a mom you're bing a student, transportaion, buying grocery, and the laundary and making finacial decision. I understand that your BF works six day out of the week, but he coming home and relaxing..when are you relaxing?? And from what I've read you're not working and I'm pertty sure your BF telling you "i'm working Can't I just relaxe when I get home?" to justify him playing his play station. But you need to inform him that you don't just need a check you need a father to help you out with "YOUR" kids. It doesn't matter if you are just going to school you not a stay home mother. If this is how your BF acting now, what's going to happen when you start to work, because not to be rude but he's not going to change; his mentally is set that you neeed to take care of everything because he works. Once again I know you feel disconncet but that's because in reality you don't have time to enjoy you babies so you are only seeing the mess they are making because you are the only one cleaning after them. If you BF would help more then you will get to enjoy babies more, rather than seeing them as a problem.


By anonymous at 15,Apr,12 11:45

You should become a parent and stop feeling sorry for yourself. People young and old will only do what you allow them to do. Put your foot down and take a stand. Let them know things are going to change and set some damn ground rules. Or, you can continue to be a sucker.


By skye at 15,Apr,12 12:26

i appreciate what everyone has to say!! and it is nice hearing other opinions. Maybe a big problem with my stress is that I discipline to firmly and too hard. sometimes i think the twins act out the way they dobecause as parents me and the bf are too hard on them ( granted, all his playstation playing. Also like i said i apprecuate everybodys input and it is nice to hear BUT i do not pity myself nor will i ever (at least i hope not) i just feel at this moment my stree level out weighs the love for my twins.
By anonymous at 19,Apr,12 17:37

No. The problem is you don't discipline well enough. Even though today's society likes to think spanking is a no-no, spanking can be a very effective tool if used properly. I'm not saying you have a right to lose your temper and go spank crazy. I'm saying they need to understand what they are doing is wrong and there are consequences. If they do bad take a minute to calm down. Tell them why you are spanking them bend em over and just give them one or two good wallops. Don't use spoons or belts of course, just your hand. I am the disciplinary parent in my house and the kids don't hate you for the discipline. Kids need order in their lives. And I am not saying spanking is the only way, gotta mix it up. And you have to learn when the proper time to spank is. Spilling milk at the table or having toys all over the place is not the right reason.


New Comment